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Profanity report:
a** - 1 instancesa**hole - 2 instances
b*tch - 1 instances
bulls**t - 1 instances
d*ck - 2 instances
f**k - 2 instances
f**king - 5 instances
s**t - 7 instances
Sex and the city Extended cut Axxo
Year after year, 20-something
women come to New York City...
... in search of the two L 's:
Labels and love.
- Yeah.
- It's the best.
Hot dress!
Twenty years ago, I was one of them.
Having gotten the knack for labels early,
I concentrated on my search for love.
Turns out, a knockoff is not as easy to spot
when it comes to love.
What? You're married?
You f**king a**hole!
Motherfucker, you're married?
- Until it is.
- I f**king hate you.
That is why you need help to spot them.
Lots of help.
Help also known as Charlotte York...
... Miranda Hobbes...
... and Samantha Jones.
- Oh, my God, look at his.
- Hey.
Hi, how are you?
Oh, well.
My name is Carrie Bradshaw,
and I'm a writer.
Year after year,
my single girlfriends were my salvation.
And as it turns out, my meal ticket.
I've been dating since I was 15.
I'm exhausted. Where is he?
Charlotte was looking
for the perfect love.
- Trey can't get it up.
- Well, almost perfect.
I'm becoming a Jew.
We're not barren,
we're reproductively challenged.
- They're giving us a baby.
- That's our baby.
So Charlotte and Harry journeyed
to China and back...
... for their daughter, Lily.
Miranda was a disciple of tough love.
Bye. Great sex.
- Steve, I'm pregnant.
- You're what?
Carrie.
I, Miranda Hobbes,
take you, Steve Brady...
And Miranda journeyed to Brooklyn
for Brady and Steve.
Who wants a Popsicle?
Oh, man. Boy.
Samantha's love was sex.
Lots of sex.
I'm dating a guy
with the funkiest-tasting spunk.
Can I cancel my rice pudding?
And then she found a man
that combined sex and love.
I'm gonna help you be a star.
Yes, he is interested...
So Samantha journeyed to Hollywood
with television star Smith Jerrod.
As for me,
I was looking for something big.
Get in.
Mr. Big. Turns out when that big
love comes along, it's not always easy.
Just tell me I'm the one.
And despite all the other chapters
of my life...
... no one was ever quite
big enough until...
Carrie, you're the one.
And just like that, I was.
Three books and three years later...
... we still feel like those four single girls.
And even though time had moved us on...
... I managed to stay exactly where I was:
In love.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I got a good feeling about this one, kid.
Oh, I hope so.
I've always loved this block.
Hi, 3C?
Finding the perfect apartment
in New York City...
... is like finding the perfect partner.
It can take years.
- So how many is this?
- Thirty-three.
Lucky 33.
- The worst. I just left you a message.
- And the kitchen's through here.
That's the window with the best view.
Thirty-four? Lucky 34?
Well, if anything else opens up,
let us know.
We're very interested in this building.
I do have another apartment
that's not even on the market yet.
Care to take a look?
- Sure.
- Sure.
All right, then.
It's more than you were looking to pay.
- How much more?
- More.
So this is where they keep the light.
Oh, my God.
I have died
and gone to real-estate heaven.
Just a simple home for two.
And across the rooftop terrace...
What, nirvana?
Hello. I live here.
Your wife has quite a sense of humor.
- They're not married.
- He's my boyfriend.
This way.
Aren't I a little old
to be introduced as your boyfriend?
Point taken. From now on,
you'll be my man-friend.
- That sounds like a dog.
- Well, if the shoe fits...
And this is the master bedroom.
Uh.
It's hideous. I hate it. Hurts my eyes.
- How is this place even available?
- Nasty divorce.
If you live here,
what is there to fight about?
Hm.
- Well, now I understand the divorce.
- I can build you a better closet.
Welcome home, baby.
Can...? Can we afford this?
I got it.
Okay, let's sign some contracts.
"I got it." Just like that.
- Like he was picking up a check for coffee.
- It sounds perfect.
Except for the closet,
which Big says he can redo.
And he says the kitchen needs work.
Of course, I don't know about that
because I keep sweaters in my stove.
So he bought it
and you'll live there with him.
Yes, together. That's right.
But he'll own it, so
you're keeping your own place, right?
I haven't figured out the details,
but I'm a smart girl.
I'll figure out something
that I'm comfortable with.
I just wanna be sure
that you're being smart.
And I love you for that.
But for now,
can't you stop worrying for me...
...and just go ahead and feel
what I want you to feel, jealous?
Oh, jealous of me living in this
gorgeous penthouse in Manhattan.
- All right, I'm jealous.
- Thanks.
You live in real-estate heaven
and I live in Brooklyn.
New York magazine said
Brooklyn is the new Manhattan.
Whoever wrote that lives in Brooklyn.
- Hey, there she is. Hey, Hollywood.
- Hey.
Oh, lady. Hi.
- How was your flight?
- Fabulous.
- Oh, good.
- Good.
- Let's go in. I'm so excited.
- Show us.
It was a rare occasion that brought
all types of New York women together.
Sorry.
Blair Elkenn was a waitress
turned model turned actress...
... turned billionaire's girlfriend
who came home one night...
... to find herself unceremoniously
turned out on the street.
Oh, my God.
And now she was getting
the ultimate breakup revenge:
An embarrassing
and very public auction...
... of all the jewelry he had given her
when they were happy.
There it is. My baby.
Oh, she's a beauty.
When I saw it in the catalog,
I said to Smith:
"This flower ring is the essence of me.
One of a kind, filled with fire."
- And a little too much.
- Exactly.
Let's go spend some of
my hard-earned Hollywood money.
And now Lot 39, the flower ring.
That's it.
We'd like to start the bidding
on this at $ 10,000, please.
At ten-thousand doll...
Thank you, madam. At 10,000.
Fifteen thousand. At $ 15,000.
Hey, she's bidding for somebody
on the phone.
That's not fair.
- b*tch.
The gloves are off.
At $30,000. Now it's against you.
Thirty-five thousand.
- I work hard, I deserve this.
- At 40,000 now.
At 40? Forty thousand?
Forty thousand, thank you.
Forty-five thousand. At $45,000.
Now 50,000?
Fifty f**king thousand.
At 50,000. Fifty-five thousand?
At $55,000 against you.
Would you like to say 60?
Sixty to our colorful bidder? At 60,000?
I draw the line at 50.
I thought this auction would be more fun,
but it's kind of sad.
Isn't it?
I thought it was just sad for me
because I know her.
But it really is sad, huh?
And it's funny
because they were so happy.
- Yeah, till they weren't.
- I know, right?
We all told her to get married
but she didn't wanna listen.
He'd been married three times before,
so she let it ride...
...and then she came home one night
and he had locked her out.
She didn't even have anywhere to live.
Such a shame. After 10 years.
She was a smart girl...
...till she fell in love.
I'm thinking...
...l'm going to sell my apartment...
...and put the money towards
heaven on 5th.
Why? You love your apartment.
I know, but there's plenty of room
in the new place and...
And besides, l...
I want to make us a life there.
You know, l... I want it to be ours.
It is ours. I bought it for us.
And that's so amazing,
but you bought it.
So really it's your place
and if anything were to happen...
What's going to happen?
Come on, I have to be smart here.
We're not married, I'd have no legal rights...
...you know, to...
To this home that I built...
...with you.
Did you wanna get married?
Well, I didn't...
I didn't think that was an option.
What if it was an option?
Why? What, do you wanna get married?
I wouldn't mind being married to you.
Would you mind being married to me?
No. No, not if...
Not if that's what you wanted.
I mean, is...? Is that what you want?
I want you.
So...
...okay.
So...?
- Really? We're...? We're getting married?
- We're getting married.
- Should we get you a diamond?
- No, no.
Just get me a really big closet.
So the other night Big and I
were talking about...
...you know,
moving in together and our future...
...and, you know, what makes sense
as we move forward and...
...well...
...we decided to get married.
- And I'm deaf.
- I'm so excited!
- Everybody is looking.
- Sorry!
I'm so sorry, everyone...
...but this is my friend
and she just got engaged.
And she has been going out
with the man for 10 years.
I'm mortified.
There is literally a ringing in my ear.
And the big news
was about to go bicoastal.
Samantha Jones.
Well, I made a little decision
I hope you'll be happy about.
- Oh, honey, you finally got Botox.
- No, I did not get Botox.
- I'm telling you, Carrie, you're gonna love it.
- I did not call...
...to talk about Botox.
- Well, I'm just saying.
So last week...
... after the auction,
I started thinking about my options.
- Right.
- And, um...
Well, Big and I decided to get married.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Well, that's great.
You sounded more excited
about the Botox.
Honey, I am excited for you,
but you know me.
I don't really believe in marriage.
Now, Botox, on the other hand,
that works every time.
Honey, l... I gotta go.
We can catch up
when I'm in town next week.
Hello.
I think I was in shock.
I mean, it's you getting married.
This is not some random person, it's you.
Yeah, I hear you.
I thought that after that big mess with
Aidan, you'd never wanna get married.
So I put you in my
"we're never getting married" file.
Now I'm gonna have to
take you out of that file.
Well, I'm sorry about
all the extra paperwork.
You'll get my bill.
Samantha, it just feels
so different this time.
You know, there's no clichd
romantic kneeling on one knee.
It's just...
...two grownups making a decision
about spending their lives together.
Well, I'm happy for you.
Oh, and hey, one more thing.
I want you to be maid of honor.
- How do you feel about that?
- The same way you feel about Botox:
Painful and unnecessary.
- Seventy-four, 75, 76. Seventy-six guests.
- Seventy-five sounds better.
A small wedding of 75 guests.
Seventy-six trombones, yes.
Seventy-six guests, no.
As a wedding gift,
Charlotte had given me...
... Anthony Marantino,
friend and wedding planner.
All right.
Well, that's...
Cutthroat. I love it.
I hope you're this decisive...
...when it comes to location and the dress.
- I found the dress.
- What? When?
- Yeah, the other day. I have it.
- This is gonna be good.
- I am so excited.
Okay.
Here it is.
That was the exact reaction
I was aiming for.
It's pretty, but it's... It's so simple.
It's simple and classic.
When I saw it, I thought,
"That is what I should marry Big in."
- Well, who's it by? What's the label?
- No one. I found it at a vintage shop.
The bride wore a dress by no one.
Oh, come on,
you know I'm gonna merchandise it up...
...style it up with some shoes.
- Right.
The invitation is fancier than the dress.
- I heard that.
- I meant you to.
Don't tell anyone.
" The ultimate single gal, Carrie
Bradshaw, will be married in Manolos...
...to New York financier
John James Preston come fall."
- Our wedding's on Page Six.
- Who would put that in there?
"Proving to single gals everywhere
that there can be a happy ending over 40."
- Carrie.
- Congratulations.
It seemed everywhere I went,
people had seen Page Six.
Even people you didn't expect,
like my Vogue editor, Enid.
We're putting together
our annual age issue...
...and we'd like you to do 40.
- Great. Who am I interviewing?
- No.
You. You are 40.
I want you to be featured in the magazine
as the 40-year-old...
And here's the brilliant twist.
- bride.
Wait, I'm... I would be in the magazine?
In bridal couture.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity...
...so spare me a week of
faux soul-searching and just say yes.
Enid, I am so very flattered,
but honestly, l...
Carrie, Vogue designers.
Vogue photographers.
Vogue airbrushing.
Nod your head. Yes.
Thank you. It will be a sensation.
We're calling it "The Last Single Girl."
Well, I'm hardly the last single girl.
No, but 40 is the last age a woman
can be photographed in a wedding gown...
...without the unintended
Diane Arbus subtext.
I thought the issue was
"Great Style at Every Age."
Style, yes. Bride, no.
- Is that better?
- Just your typical Wednesday.
Hanging out with old friends
like Stanford Blatch...
... and new friends like Vera Wang.
She's looking at home for someone
who didn't think she had the bride gene.
- Well, I guess with the right man...
- And the right dress.
When I get married, I'm wearing
something like that, only bigger.
Beauty. Hot.
Love the veil.
And Carolina Herrera.
Nothing fancy, but it's beautiful.
Good work.
Great, let's do it.
And Christian Lacroix.
And Lanvin.
And Dior.
And Oscar de la Renta.
And finally, Vivienne Westwood.
A dress so special...
... it could bring a wedding tear from
even the most unbelieving of women.
And then, the impossible happened.
And just like that...
... Vivienne Westwood
kicked my sweet little suit's a**.
Can I lean?
Are you the last person in New York
still taking out library books?
I love the smell.
Mm.
Oh. That's an oldie.
"Love Letters of Great Men,
Volume One. "
- Oh, am I in there?
- No, no.
But some of your classmates are,
like Voltaire, Napoleon.
- Young lady, you need to get glasses.
- No, I don't. I have yours.
Okay, here's Napoleon.
"My dearest Josephine,
I wake consumed with thoughts of you."
Typical short guy.
Gives it all away upfront.
- Why are you reading this?
- It's research for my new book.
- Oh. What's it about?
- Love.
I used to write about finding love.
Now I wanna write about
what happens after you've found it.
Interesting.
- What happens?
- Mm. Stay tuned.
Oh, here, listen. It's Beethoven.
Bring it, Ludwig.
"My thoughts go out to you,
my immortal beloved.
I can live only wholly with you
or not at all."
Good stuff.
"Be calm my life, my all.
Only by calm consideration
of our existence...
...can we achieve
our purpose to live together.
Oh, continue to love me.
Never misjudge...
...the most faithful heart of your beloved.
Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours."
Have you ever written me a love letter?
Does a love fax count?
- When have I ever gotten a love fax?
- Oh, I'm sure my secretary sent you one...
...at some point.
- Yeah.
What can I tell you, baby?
It's not my style.
Besides, those guys had to write.
They were separated from their loves...
...by wars
and hundreds and hundreds of miles.
I'm right here.
Hello.
- You make me very happy.
- Yeah, yeah. Put it in writing.
With my mind prenuptially preoccupied,
I became delinquent with my library books.
So now the tragic love stories
of Wuthering Heights and Love Story...
... were going to cost me
more than a few tears.
Excuse me, which way is the wedding?
Up the stairs.
It was perfect.
Big and I would be married
in the classic New York landmark...
... that housed all the great love stories.
Where is the waiter with the check?
Jeez, Miranda, relax.
Magda hasn't even finished yet.
I still have a brief to work on
when I get home.
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- I'll take him.
Thank you, Magda.
We're gonna wash that beautiful face.
Come, darling.
What?
We can't let the hard-working nanny
finish her supper?
I'm sorry, I'm exhausted.
Brady woke me up at 5 a.m.
- Hey, he woke me up too.
- Yeah.
We gotta stop letting Brady
come into our bed.
You got milk on your top lip.
What now?
- It's like you're always criticizing me.
- I am not.
You wanna go through life with foam
on your lip and no one ever telling you?
Anything you wanna tell me?
Hm. Is there anything you wanna tell me?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Wait. Wait. Don't come already.
- Yeah.
- No, wait. Get on top.
Let's just get it over with.
I mean, we gotta get up
in four and a half hours.
We never have sex
and you wanna get it over with?
- Steve, we have sex.
- When was the last time we had sex?
Um...
There was snow on the ground.
- How often do you guys have sex?
- Sex.
- Miranda, please.
- What?
She's 3.
She doesn't know what it means.
I'm 41 and I still don't know
what it means.
I know, but she is repeating everything.
If I'd known the girl talk was gonna be on
lockdown, I wouldn't have flown 3000 miles.
No, we can talk.
Let's just not use that word.
Fine. How often do you guys?
- Color?
- Thank you.
Well, I can't color enough.
I could color all day every day.
If I had my way,
I would use every crayon in my box.
We get it. You love to color.
Why are you asking?
Well, last night Steve and I were coloring,
and I was just about to...
Come.
I'm sorry, there's no crayon equivalent.
And he wanted to switch positions
and I said:
"Let's just get it over with."
- He kept trying to make it last longer.
- This is bad?
- It is when you have a full-time job.
- I have a full-time job.
You don't also have a 5-year-old,
play dates, PTA meetings...
...and a mother-in-law in a rest home
with advancing Alzheimer's.
We're just going through
a no-coloring phase.
- It comes and goes, right?
- Every couple is different.
Harry and I make love
two, three times a week.
- Great, now I feel worse.
- Well, when was the last time for you?
- Six months ago.
- Oh, my.
It sounds long.
- But... But that's a dry spell.
- I bet it is.
Hey, Carrie. What about you and Big?
Come on. I told. Tell.
Mm-mm.
But I will tell you this.
When Big colors...
...he rarely stays inside the lines.
Well, this has been very helpful.
John?
- Hey.
- Come here.
Totally outside the lines.
Well, send it to Smith Jerrod
at the office address.
I gotta go. Something just came up.
- I got a gift for you.
- So far, I like it.
How'd...?
Wait. That was you on the phone
at the auction.
- I knew how much you wanted it.
- But I was gonna buy it for myself.
Well, I wanted to give it to you.
For our anniversary.
We met five years ago today.
Right.
Do you like it?
Well, just to be clear,
this is a ring with diamonds...
...it's not a diamond ring, right?
- Yeah.
Well, in that case, I love it.
It's my second favorite thing
I've ever found in there.
Now, my gift is a little bit more oral.
- Babe, I have to go to bed.
- Bed? It's 7:30.
I have to be at the studio by 6 a.m.
and I need to get a workout in before that.
You see, this is how it starts.
Next thing you know, we're only
having sex three or four times a week.
And that is how Samantha learned
she had a new neighbor.
From then on, night after night...
... while Smith got his beauty sleep...
... Samantha found something
more interesting to watch than TiVo.
- Keep going.
- Okay.
- Keep them closed.
- Okay.
Okay. Open them.
Double doors.
So far, so good.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, you did me proud, mister.
- You like it?
"Like it?"
It's love at first sight.
Oh, my.
Here. Wait.
Hold this.
Now I believe this is all really happening.
I can't believe it sold so fast.
- It's a sign.
- Yeah, it's a sign I priced it too low.
Hey, that's the food. Will you buzz
them in? And money's on the table.
I'm gonna get started on the closet.
I should be done in about 17 years.
All right. Pink Post-it: take.
Purple: toss. Yellow: storage.
Oh, you're very good friends.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
Lily, look who it is. Aunt Samantha.
- What are you doing here?
- A lot of s**t went down in this place.
Attention must be paid.
Ah.
Really, champagne.
- Remember this?
- Oh, yeah.
While Samantha put on
The Best of the '80s...
... I put on the worst.
Banana clip.
Yeah.
Work it.
Madonna.
Whoo, whoo!
No fun.
Aw.
Work it harder.
Oh, man.
- Come here.
- Come here.
Come on, don't be shy.
Come on.
It took four friends three days...
... to put 20 years into 38 boxes.
While I run over
to see your mother tomorrow...
...maybe you could take Brady
by the first birthday party alone.
And then I'll meet you at the twins' party,
and you can leave and be at the bar by 6.
What's the matter?
I had sex with someone else.
And you're so amazing...
...and I don't know how
I could do that to you.
You and I hadn't had sex
in a really long time and I...
God.
It didn't mean anything.
It just happened once.
And it's been killing me.
It's killing you?
It just happened.
l... l...
l... l... I wasn't thinking.
Do not follow me.
Scout, off.
Miranda, it's still me.
Is it?
Steve. I just... I can't believe it.
- That's what I said.
- Yes, it's sad.
But I'm not gonna make it any sadder
by staying at a bad hotel...
...while I look for a place.
Could you pass the salt?
Plus, I have to be downtown
and close to Brooklyn.
We're gonna keep Brady's life
as normal as we possibly can.
I'm gonna have him on my days
and Steve will have him on his...
...and Magda will shuttle
back and forth between.
Well, I don't really know
if this question is allowed...
...but how is Steve handling this?
Says he's devastated,
begs me to forgive him.
It's not gonna happen.
I can barely even look at him.
Miranda, honey,
are you sure you wanna do this?
It's just one time.
Anyone can have a slip.
Even if I could get my mind around that
justification, it's the cheating part.
The behind-my-back part, the violation
of the trust. That's what's killing me.
Thank you for being you.
Charlotte made love to Harry
four times that week.
Okay. Wedding crunch time.
We need to get really serious here.
Okay, not now.
I just got an e-mail from our contractor.
He's pushed the move-in date yet again.
- I gotta write this guy and...
- No, no, no.
No. Wedding before contractor, all right?
Unless you're planning to invite him,
which would make the guest list 201.
Two hundred?
Jesus, Carrie, it went up again?
- It's the dress.
- You said 75 people.
How can I explain this?
Look...
...you play poker, right?
Well, the dress upped the ante.
Hey.
How you doing on your vows?
A reminder. You'll be saying these in front
of a lot of people, so the pressure is on.
All right, up. I have to finish this. Up.
- Hey.
- I don't have time for this.
- You're not taking it seriously.
- No, no, I'm not. It is a circus.
Two hundred people?
Page Six?
This is my third marriage.
How do you think that makes me look?
I didn't know that was even an issue.
So why didn't you say anything sooner?
- You wanted all of this.
- Well, yeah.
- But don't you want...?
- I want you.
That's what I want.
I could have just gone down to city hall.
I think it's too late for city hall now.
Well, no, I wasn't suggesting that...
I was just saying.
See, that's the face...
...l've been trying to avoid.
Come here.
You're a great man-friend.
And soon,
it was the night before the big day.
There they are.
Now, I know it's tradition
at the rehearsal dinner...
...for the maid of honor to reveal
embarrassing things about the bride.
But in our group, we never kiss and tell.
- So I'd like to make a toast to the groom.
- There's a word he's heard before.
- Who's that guy again?
- Karl. He's a partner at the firm.
Karl's kind of a jerk.
You know what they say,
three time's a charm.
Hey, dickwad, I'm speaking.
- Yeah, Samantha.
- Yeah.
Now, there were times when we had
our doubts about this gorgeous man.
But after careful observation
over the last hundred years...
...my doubts are over.
So here's to the groom...
...a man who finally got "Carrie-d" away.
Aww.
Here's hoping, John.
That guy is a jackass. Here.
- Cheers.
- That was really nice. Thank you.
There's nothing like
an illegal Cuban cigar...
...after dinner, huh?
- Exactly.
So that was quite a toast, Samantha.
Well, you're quite a guy.
- Oh, my God, there's a cab.
- Oh, yeah.
- Hey, buddy, hold on.
- Get it.
Steve.
- I don't wanna bother you all.
- You're not bothering us.
But...
...I need to talk to Miranda.
Samantha, could you ask her
to come out?
I don't wanna go in. It's a party and all.
Sure.
Hey. I haven't talked to you all night.
Steve's here.
They're not poodles.
You know what I mean.
Hey, guys. Would you give us?
Yeah, sure, going in.
You're all right?
You didn't leave me any choice.
You won't return my calls.
You only talk to me in front of the baby
and I can't say anything.
What could you possibly have to say
that could make it any better?
- Please. It was just that one time.
- You broke us!
You broke us. What we had is broken.
What the f**k is happening?
I changed who I was for you.
Hey.
- Are you all right?
- No, I'm not all right.
You two are crazy to get married.
Marriage ruins everything.
Hey. There you are.
I thought you'd skipped out on me.
No.
Well, the all-gal sleepover's
about to commence.
Hey, is everything okay?
Yeah. I'm just tired, I guess.
All right. Well, go home and go to sleep.
But first give me a kiss good night
and make it a good one...
...because it's the last single-girl kiss.
- I always knew she would marry Big.
- Oh, you did not.
- That's crazy.
- Yes, I did.
After every breakup I secretly thought,
"Nope. They belong together."
You thought that
after the second breakup?
- Yup.
- After the fifteenth?
Ha-ha. That's hilarious.
We broke up a lot.
Yeah, but after the breakups
comes the hot make-up sex.
Hey, you wanna get that? Open up.
- Now say something.
- Sex.
Are you sure she's not my child?
- Hello?
- It's me.
Oh, my God, did you just hear Lily?
- I need to talk.
- What?
I'm sitting here
trying to write these vows and...
Is this something we really wanna do?
Hey, you know what? You guys, it's Big.
I'm gonna... I'm gonna take it.
Get some sleep, groomie.
- What's the matter?
- It's just...
...everything is great as it is.
- I don't wanna screw it up.
- You won't.
I screwed it up twice before.
Here's the thing.
This is me you're marrying tomorrow.
Me. It's nobody else.
- Yeah?
- And I'm marrying you.
It's me and you.
And do you wanna hear
the great news there?
Yeah.
We've both already done
everything we can to screw it up.
- Is that a smile I'm hearing?
- Yeah.
It sounds to me like you've got
a bit of writer's block on the vow front.
Yeah.
And I find, you know,
as a professional writer...
...that it's best to just, you know...
...just stop thinking about it so much
and go to bed.
And in the morning...
- You'll know what to do.
- Exactly.
And if not, then just write this:
I will love you.
Simple, to the point...
...and I swear I won't even
try to take credit for it.
So you're gonna go to bed now, right?
Okay. Good night.
I'll see you tomorrow. And hey...
...it's me and you.
Now, there's a bride.
Before we leave, we're gonna
pick up our flowers, right, girls?
Miranda, you're gonna have the dahlias.
Samantha, you have the roses.
- And Charlotte...
- We can take care of it.
Hello?
Could you put Carrie
on the phone, please?
Hello?
Who let the dogs out?
Get these dogs out of here!
That's all we need is the lift of a leg
on the train of a dress.
Could you open this door, please?
- Wait, wait, hold it.
- I'm trying to find out...
- Oh, my God.
- Hey.
- The girls are in this car.
- All of us together?
All of you together.
Okay? Come on, lift it up. Let's go.
Hey, it's Carrie. Leave me a message.
- See you then. Bye-bye.
- Just so beautiful.
- Blue.
- Yes, sir.
- Red and black.
- Okay, I'll see you there.
- Where's black?
- Oh, I'm coming, I'm coming.
- You're following the red.
- I'm coming.
Okay. Come on. Let's go.
- Ready?
- Yeah, okay, you're in.
Okay.
There's the bride. Look, she's dressed
like a princess, do you see?
- Can you hold that?
- Oh, yes.
Thank you. Okay.
Come on, scootch over.
It's like pushing a cream puff
through a keyhole.
See you at the library.
- Hey, it's Carrie. Leave me a message.
- Why haven't you called me back?
Look, I really need to talk to you.
Call me as soon as you get this.
No more wedding guests on these stairs,
understand? Bridal party only.
Got it.
We've got a problem. They're not here.
- They're probably stuck in traffic.
- Both of them?
- Hey, it's Carrie. Leave me a message.
- I can't go in without you.
Baby...
...this whole bride-and-groom thing
has really got me thrown.
I need to know that it's still us.
Just you and me. Like you said.
- I was putting it on.
- I know.
Good job. Beautiful.
Come on, baby.
Turn around, let me see you.
You look so beautiful.
It looks beautiful.
It really does. It looks so beautiful.
Oh, look at Mommy, here they come.
- Easy does it.
- We're here.
The traffic was the worst.
57th Street was just...
- It's okay.
- Hello. You guys look great.
- Okay, honey, let's go upstairs.
- Ready. We're ready.
He's not here.
- Who's not here?
- The groom.
What's happening?
- Big's not here.
- But we're 25 minutes late.
Well, did anybody call him?
Well, give me a phone.
Somebody give me a phone.
- All right, I don't know how to work this.
- Here, sweetie.
Thank you.
- Hey, you know what?
Let me just look at your tie for a minute.
Hello.
- Are you okay?
I've been calling for an hour.
- Why haven't you been answering?
- Because I don't know where my phone is.
So, what's going on? Where are you?
I was out front. I just left.
I can't do this.
Oh, my God.
Carrie? Carrie.
- He's not coming. Oh, my God.
- What do you mean, "He's not coming"?
Get me out of here.
- Get me out of here!
- Go, go, go.
- You take her, I'll take care of all of this.
- All right, all right.
Here we go.
What the f**k am I doing?
Turn around, go back.
It's a one-way street.
By the time we go around the block,
she'll be gone.
There's no one behind us. Turn around.
- I think this is them.
- Pull over. Pull over.
Carrie.
Carrie. I freaked out for a minute,
but I'm ready now.
Oh, God.
I knew
you would do this! I knew it!
- Carrie, I'm sorry.
- I am humiliated!
I'm sorry. I'm... I'm sorry, Carrie.
Come on. Come on.
- Carrie, wait, I'm sorry. Carrie...
- No! No!
Come on, we're gonna get in the car.
It's all right, it's all right.
Let's go, man. Move it.
I thought I would still be in extreme pain.
I feel nothing.
I'd like some more nothing.
Yes, I'm still jilted.
What the hell got into him?
He was perfectly fine at the dinner.
I knew it when he called last night.
- I could tell.
- Then why didn't you say anything?
I didn't wanna believe it. I di...
I didn't even wanna say it out loud.
- Now I have nowhere to live.
- You'll stay here.
Forever.
Maybe you should eat something.
- Anyone? Hungry?
- No.
I can never go back there again.
How am I gonna get my clothes?
Oh, honey, I can hire people to do all that.
Anything you need.
A hit man?
I have nothing to wear
but a wedding gown.
You have your honeymoon clothes here.
Well, there's the silver lining.
A honeymoon
at a romantic Mexican resort...
...that's prepaid on my credit card...
...because I wanted to surprise
the man who jilted me.
I can get you out of that.
Worse comes to worse,
I'll say there was a death or something.
Wasn't there?
Keep those eyes closed.
Keep them closed.
Charlotte.
Come here. Come here.
I did something really bad, I think.
I said something to Big
at the rehearsal dinner.
What do you mean?
It was right after Steve showed up.
I was upset.
Big came over to me,
and I said something like:
"You're crazy to get married."
It just came out.
- Do you think it's totally the reason?
- No.
Big has been weird
about marriage for years.
- I keep thinking I should tell Carrie.
- No, no, no.
This is a bad time to even mention it.
No, no, no. Find another time later.
Uh-huh.
Well, it turns out, I couldn't get her
out of the honeymoon, but I got us in.
- What?
- I just booked us three seats on the flight.
Mexico, here we come.
I can't go to Mexico. I have a job.
Jerrod. Smith Jerrod, with a J.
That's right. Great, thank you.
- Make sure that the car is there...
- We're here, I'll call you back later.
Welcome to Mexico.
Do you have wi-fi? Thanks.
I'm sorry, I'm confused.
I'm waiting for a Mr. and Mrs. Preston.
Honey, you'll be waiting a long time.
We'll talk.
This will kill her.
- Where is she?
- In the powder room.
- Well, let's look around.
- Yeah.
And this is a master suite.
Oh, my God.
Here.
You get that side.
Where are we gonna put these?
Here. No more honeymoon stuff.
This is very important.
Here she comes.
It's going to be a gorgeous sunset.
Close the shutters.
All of them.
Morning.
Did I dream it?
Carrie?
It's dinnertime. You slept the whole day.
So?
Honey? You have to eat a little breakfast.
I'm tired.
Well, eat something,
then you can go back to sleep.
- Oh, thank you, Paulo.
- Sure.
With all this gorgeous fresh food, you're
gonna eat that pudding crap the entire trip?
It's the only thing in the pantry
that's totally safe.
See? "Made in Poughkeepsie."
I didn't wanna chance it.
It's a five-star resort.
It's Mexico.
Carrie.
Is there coffee?
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
The sun feels nice.
Jesus, honey, wax much?
What? I didn't know
I was gonna be wearing a bathing suit.
- What are you talking about?
- I forgot to wax.
- Since when, 1998?
- I've had other things on my mind.
I could be on death row
and not have that situation.
Well, when you're married,
you have a different set of priorities.
Oh, honey, don't blame marriage.
This one's married and
she's not growing a national forest.
How do you even cross your legs?
Let me make you a spa appointment.
Any thicker,
and you won't be able to find it.
So, what, it's my fault?
I let the sex go out of my marriage.
I deserve what I got?
- Thanks for understanding.
- Honey, I'm sorry. That's not what l...
I'm fine.
Hey, let's go down to the hotel
for dinner tonight.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I gotta do something
to pull me out of my "Mexi-coma."
Oh, honey, you made a little joke.
Good for you.
Yeah.
- My name is Felix, I'll be your server.
- Felix, we'll start with cuatro margaritas.
Oh, no, I'm not drinking.
Just bottled water.
- I'll drink hers.
- May I have your room numbers?
We're staying in one of the private houses.
Uh, number 3.
Very good, Mrs. Preston.
That was like taking a bullet.
Charlotte has pudding in her Prada.
- Will I ever laugh again?
- Yes.
- When?
- When something is really, really funny.
Thank God for that mariachi band
or I'd be able to hear my own thoughts.
Fabulous. And keep them coming.
Thanks.
Thank you.
He couldn't get out of the car.
After 10 years
of what he already put me through...
...he couldn't make the effort
and get out of the car.
I made the effort.
I put a bird on my head.
- Is that what that was?
- Yeah.
- I thought it was feathers.
- It was a bird.
- It was beautiful.
- Beautiful.
He's a bad guy.
Always was.
- Bad guys do bad things.
- And good guys do bad things.
The good guys screw you
and the bad guys screw you.
The rest of them
don't know how to screw you.
- Trust me, I've done the legwork.
- After everything I know...
...after 20 years of
everything we've learned...
...I threw it all away for the thrill of
putting his name on the honeymoon suite.
If I met me now, I wouldn't know me.
As long as we're going down this road...
...I can't believe
that my life revolves around a man.
On what planet
did I allow that to happen?
But you love him.
Does that mean saying his name
50 times more a day than I say my own?
Does it mean worrying about him
and his needs before me and mine?
Is it all about the other person?
Is that love?
- No, that's marriage.
- Even this ring.
I wanted to buy this for myself.
That meant something to me,
to be able to do that.
- And then he buys it for me.
- Because he knew how much you loved it.
Yes, but now every time I look down at it,
I see him not me.
- Is every...?
- We'll take another round.
- Another?
- Relax. We're on vacation.
Technically, we're on my honeymoon.
No, I think we're on their honeymoon.
Yeah, it's all so hot three days in.
"Mailbox full." Yeah, I'll bet it is.
- There's no time like the present.
- No.
I'm not ready to face it all yet.
Hey. I'm going for a run
and then to the gym for Pilates.
Anybody wanna...?
- Hi.
- Hey, good news.
I got an e-mail
from your buyer's attorney.
They're willing to sell you back
your old apartment at the escalated price...
...and "are willing to vacate
by the time you return...
...pending an additional financial offer."
Well, apparently you can go home again,
but it'll cost you.
- Let's work on getting your things there.
- Wow...
...you two could rule the world.
After her workout,
Charlotte couldn't help but think...
... how truly blessed she was.
This week had made her feel more grateful
than ever for her happy marriage.
And just for a second, while picturing
her loved ones at home in New York...
... she forgot where she was
and opened her mouth.
Hello, miss.
- Have you had that happen?
- Not recently.
Sweetie, what's...?
It's locked, she's mopping.
Try the...
- Did you just...?
- Shut up, shut up, shut up!
And just like that...
... Charlotte "Poughkeepsied"
in her pants.
Oh, my God.
Miranda was right.
When something was really,
really funny, I laughed.
Oh, my God.
Received Saturday,
September 20th, 12:30 p.m.
Carrie, call me.
I need to talk to you before...
There was no better time I could think of
to hire an assistant.
Um, no. I do not lift boxes.
Yeah, definitely, no.
I would love a career in fashion.
Oh.
This is not nonfat.
Oh.
I love your books. Your s**t's brilliant.
Cathy?
- You seem drunk.
- Little bit.
Never made it to bed last night.
But I type like a motherfucker!
I have a degree in finance
from Princeton...
...and I've been assistant to a V.P.
at Merrill Lynch.
That's impressive. And, Paul,
why do you think you're right for this job?
- So you're from St. Louis?
- That's right. Louise from St. Louis.
And you have a degree
in computer science?
- Yes, that's correct.
- Well, good for you. I can barely text.
- Have you ever been a personal assistant?
- No, but I'm the oldest of six kids...
...so I'm sure I can handle
anything you got.
- Wow. Six kids, what's that like?
- Crowded.
I had to move to New York just to
get some room. Where did I end up?
In a one-bedroom apartment
with three roommates.
Well, aside from the space issue,
why'd you move to New York?
To fall in love.
- What? That's corny, right?
- No.
No, no, it's... It's just very honest.
I don't think that I've heard
anybody say that in a very long time.
Well...
So Louise from St. Louis,
I just have one more question.
Okay.
How does an unemployed girl
with three roommates...
...afford the Patchwork Denim Bowley
Louis Vuitton bag?
It's rented. Bag Borrow or Steal?
It's like Netflix for purses.
- How can I not know about this?
- Girl, stick with me. I'll hook you up.
And did she hook me up.
Hi. This is Louise.
I'm calling for Carrie Bradshaw.
Yes, she received your invitation,
but she will be unable to attend.
Thank you.
Put that over there.
After only three days...
... I began to think of her
as Saint Louise from St. Louis.
Ain't nothing in there for you.
And as I moved back
into my old apartment...
... Miranda searched for a new one,
downtown.
You see the Chinese writing?
- Yeah.
New York magazine says this is
the new up-and-coming neighborhood.
- Okay, maybe down that way?
- Maybe you come home.
Look, white guy with a baby.
Wherever he's going,
that's where we need to be.
Come on.
I lived here before.
This used to be all-Ukrainian area.
A U-Haul.
Coming or going?
- Going. Oh, boy. I'm gonna check it out.
- Okay.
Wait down here, okay?
Okay.
- Hi. Do you have an apartment?
- Stay, stay, stay.
And there in old Ukrainia,
Miranda found her new apartment.
- Hi. I'm interested in the apartment upstairs.
- Yeah.
"And there they remained
for the rest of their days...
...for the birds
were constantly on guard...
...and the women could not so much
as step one foot out the door.
And Cinderella and the prince
lived happily ever after."
You know that this is just a fairy tale,
right, sweetheart?
I mean, things don't always
happen like this in real life.
- I just think you should know that now.
- Again.
And another one bites the dust.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Mommy's home.
Thanks for watching Lily
while I went to the doctor.
- Oh, sure. Everything okay?
- Mm-hm.
- I'm pregnant.
- How?
You know how people always say
that when you stop trying, it can happen?
And my doctor says that she knows
other couples who have adopted...
...and then they get pregnant.
- Sweetie.
- Carrie, I'm pregnant.
I guess in certain houses,
fairy tales do come true.
Oh, that was really hot.
- You seem kind of distant.
- Distant? You're still in me.
- Do you wanna talk about it?
- When have I ever wanted to talk about it?
Okay. I'll talk about it.
Your best friends got screwed over
by their guys.
How could you not be distant?
It's more than that.
Lately, I haven't been feeling
a connection to...
- What, me?
- No.
To it, here. I have no real connection
to our life here.
What life here? Seriously.
All I do is work...
...and you run off to New York
every chance you get.
Well, not every chance I get.
Only for the A-list things.
And my managing you, it's...
It's getting to be too much.
I'm starting to resent it.
For the last two years,
it's been all about you.
Well, for the first three years,
it was all about you.
I know. That was so much more fun.
Well, I won't be coming to New York
for a while.
We're gonna spend some time
reconnecting on weekends...
...do the L.A. -couple thing.
Yeah, hi. Can you put on Samantha?
Really. At first I was all,
"You can't tell me what I can do."
But then I had to admit, he had a point.
Please deposit another 85 cents.
Honey, a payphone? Where's your cell?
At the bottom of the ocean in Mexico.
- Want me to hook you up with a new one?
- No, not yet. No phone, no calls.
No calls, no questions.
No questions, no explaining no wedding.
Plus, it's an excuse
to bust out the gloves.
Please deposit another 85...
Carrie Bradshaw's web page is a mess.
Interesting. So is Carrie Bradshaw.
Hey, when are we gonna get to the really
important stuff, like unpacking my closet?
One thing at a time. You ever gonna
answer any of these e-mails?
- Yes.
- When?
- Now?
- Okay.
- Well, I'll read and you tell me what to do.
- Okay.
Who's john@jjpny.com?
Oh, s**t. That's him, right?
Delete.
And isn't there some cyberspace place
that you can send those...
...so that I never have to see
an e-mail from him ever again?
Do that, please.
You sure you wanna end
all communication with him?
Mm-hm.
Okay. Great.
I can't believe you're even dressing up.
All the parents in Brady's school
dress up. It's fun.
Fun thought up by a group of non-working
mothers with nothing else to do all day.
All right, what do they got?
Witch and sexy kitten.
That's it. The only two choices
for women, witch and sexy kitten.
You just said a mouthful there, sister.
Maybe I should wear this and
a briefcase, and go as myself.
I got an e-mail from Big.
"I don't know what to say."
- Uh, then don't send an e-mail.
- What were you expecting?
And in the subject box, two words:
- "I'm sorry."
- Ugh.
Steve is all about the "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry" e-mails,
"I'm sorry" voice mails...
..."I'm sorry" flowers, "I'm sorry" cards.
How about, don't do anything
to be "I'm sorry" for?
Well, maybe he's sorry.
Well, maybe so is Big.
Point taken.
Hey, you're scaring the women.
It's gonna take a little more than that
to scare me after what I've been through.
I still cannot believe this happened to me.
I mean, l... I know it happened.
But I just... I can't believe it happened.
I lay awake at night going over
every detail of that last week in my head.
Carrie, there's a detail about that last week
I've been meaning to tell you.
- At the rehearsal dinner...
- And then I saw it.
The only thing scary enough to scare me
after what I'd been through.
You look great.
You look amazing. So that's the worst of it.
Wait, wait, wait.
What does it say there
in the editor's note?
"The wedding of Carrie Bradshaw
and John James Preston was canceled...
...as this issue went to press.
Bradshaw is..."
Bradshaw is what?
Wait...
"Bradshaw is still single
and living in New York City."
I didn't wanna buy it...
... but I figured it was
one less Vogue in New York.
I saw it. The pictures are gorgeous.
Yeah, I'm a beautiful bride.
- Hi, honey.
- Hi.
Hey, hey, hey, come on in.
- Come on, sweetie.
Get your hat.
- Look, the people who don't know...
- Yeah.
...will only see the beautiful pictures.
The people who do know...
...will only see what an a**hole he is.
Mommy said a bad word.
Oh. Is that for me?
Oh, Lily, thank you.
Hey, what are you gonna be
for Halloween?
Cinderella.
- Or we also bought Mulan.
- No.
We came to ask you if you would
go trick-or-treating with us.
- Yeah!
- It's just in our building...
...if you're in the mood.
- Yeah!
Yeah!
- No costume?
- No, look closer.
I'm the scariest thing in New York,
jilted at 41. Boo!
You know you have to
give me some of your loot?
- Yeah.
- Aw.
Let's put your mask on.
- Look...
- Trick or treat!
Oh! Carrie.
I saw you in Vogue.
I'm so sorry.
There you go, honey.
Trick or treat!
Louise.
Oh, my Lord. I didn't even recognize you.
That's the point. My head's
in the Witness Protection Program.
I'm feeling that look on you though.
- And I am feeling that Chanel on you.
- Mine till Tuesday.
- All right, so...
- Here. Time to rejoin the world.
Already?
- Your new number, area code 347-85...
- Ho... Ho... Hold it.
347?
Oh, no. No, I'm a 917 gal,
always have been.
I tried. It's no longer available.
Now you're 347.
Samantha Jones.
Carrie Bradshaw. Or I used to be.
Talk to me.
I'm a 347 area code. How awful is that?
347 is the new New York.
Well, I want the old New York
with my old 917 and my old will to live.
Old New York, new New York.
Honey, at least it's New York.
Another hard thing about being in L. A:
My sex-on-a-stick next-door neighbor.
- I can't stop looking at him.
- Looking?
Just looking. After seeing Steve's face
at the rehearsal dinner, I could never...
Oh, but you should see this guy.
Every night...
...sex with a different partner. He's like...
...me five years ago.
- Yeah. When I was a 917.
I mean, what's the point
of having a hot guy next door...
... if you can't have sex with him?
We agreed that no one else from the show
but Smith was going to be on the cover.
Well, get back to me.
Hey.
And in an effort to stay out of the house
and out of trouble...
... Samantha went shopping.
Rescue a puppy today?
- She needs a good home. Interested?
- No.
And just as Samantha convinced herself
that the dog wasn't for her...
She's been fixed,
but she hasn't lost the urge.
And because Samantha
couldn't get off...
... she got things.
What would happen if these
were to magically disappear?
- Yeah, I know where you live.
- For a pair like this, I could move.
Wait, Carrie, not that one.
Do you want me to get rid of it?
No.
No, it's too beautiful.
I'll just...
...bury it deep in the back...
...like I did my feelings.
- Do you miss him?
- Every day.
It's weird...
...I haven't cried very much at all.
I don't know, maybe...
Maybe you're only allotted
a certain amount of tears per man...
...and I used mine up.
Yeah, I know how you feel.
Because my St. Louis boyfriend
broke up with me last year...
...and I miss him all the time.
Suddenly, it dawned on me. There
were two broken hearts in my walk-in.
Louise, we need a cocktail.
Grab your rental.
And it threw me so hard.
Because, you know, I thought Will...
That's his name.
- I thought he was the love of my life.
- Well, what happened?
He said he loved me and all,
but he didn't think that I was the one.
That s**t hurt. But, you know, whatever.
- I'm not gonna give up on love.
- Good.
Love is the thing, you know.
You see that?
That's love.
And I'm bringing it to me all day long.
Excuse me.
Oh, I remember that smile.
Who's the guy?
Someone I just met.
He wants me to meet him for drinks.
At 11:30? Oh, that's a booty call.
No, it's not.
He's a waiter, he just got off work.
Louise. Now, I may not get texts,
I may not send texts, but trust me.
The subtext of that text? Booty.
But if he meets me,
then it's not a booty call, right?
All right, then. Enjoy yourself.
That's what your 20s are for.
Your 30s are to learn the lessons.
Your 40s are to pay for the drinks.
Well, in that case, I'll take another one.
It's all about the desk.
If I find the desk, the writing will come.
And it better come...
...because I'm using my new book advance
to pay the fancy decorator.
I think it is so great that you're
redoing your entire apartment.
Yeah, well, out with the old and...
...oh, in with the overpriced.
Hey. Harry called me and
mentioned that you're not running.
- Why'd he do that?
- Because he loves you and he's concerned.
There's nothing to be concerned about.
Well, did...? Did the doctor say
that it's not safe or something?
No. She said because
I'm already a runner, it's fine.
So then, why are you not...?
Because I'm afraid
something bad is gonna happen.
- It's a miracle I'm even pregnant.
- Okay.
I have everything I ever wanted.
I am so happy that I'm terrified.
Nobody gets everything that they want.
Look at you. Look at Miranda.
You're good people
and look at what happened to you.
Of course something bad
is gonna happen to me.
Sweetie...
...you s**t your pants this year.
Maybe you're done.
You run every day, that's what you do.
You can't stop being who you are
because you're afraid, right?
All right.
Okay. Here we go.
Okay.
And as the last
of the autumn leaves fell away...
... so did Charlotte's fear.
By the time the first snow fell,
Charlotte got her stride back.
Are you sure you don't want me
to R.S.V.P. to any of these holiday parties?
No, I am perfectly happy
spending time alone.
You sure?
Because this looks like a good one.
Go home. Seriously,
you're gonna miss your plane, go.
Okay. But first...
Merry Christmas.
- You didn't have to.
- It's just something silly.
Oh.
- Oh, Louise from St. Louis.
- You said you never saw it.
Well, jeez.
Now I feel bad.
If I had known
we were exchanging gifts...
...I would have bought you one
two weeks ago...
...and hidden it here.
- That is not what I think it is.
- I don't know, open it.
Oh, my God.
My very own Louis Vuitton?
That's right. No more rental for you.
Look who's home from the big city.
It was the best money I'd ever spent.
New Year's Eve and a cup of noodles.
So you remember
what you're gonna say at midnight?
- Happy New Year.
- Yeah.
Except you're gonna say it
much more excited than that.
- You're gonna say, "Happy New Year!"
- Happy New Year.
Yeah. And you say that
and then you kiss.
All right.
- All ready to go, B-boy?
- Yeah.
Did you remember to pack
the Batman that Santa brought you?
I think it's in the kitchen.
Oh, you gotta have the new Batman, huh?
You got plans with the girls?
Um...
We're all kind of staying in tonight.
Would you like to
come out and eat with us?
We could go someplace
on your side of the bridge.
No. Thank you.
Miranda, I never meant to hurt you.
I found him.
- Batman.
- Oh, there he is. Batman.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Put your hat on.
- Yeah.
- It's snowing out.
- Here you go.
- I'm gonna bring Batman.
- Okay.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
Kiss.
All right, I'll see you tomorrow.
This is my new...
You know what we're gonna do?
We're gonna light a firecracker
at midnight.
- Hello?
- Happy New Year.
We're having a fabulous time.
The only thing missing is you. Come.
That's sweet but I can't.
I'm... I'm writing.
Oh, okay.
You're not really writing, are you?
No. You're not really
having a fabulous time, are you?
No. Rescue me.
There's no one fun here.
It's very forced-festive.
Oh, yes. That's just what
every New Year's Eve party needs...
...a visit from the lost Bront sister.
Well, better a Bront sister
than a Hilton sister.
Thanks, but...
...by 10 p.m. I will be in bed asleep...
...and blissfully unaware of
how fabulous this night is supposed to be.
- Hello?
- So I thought...
...that one of the perks
of having a family...
...was that you didn't have to spend
New Year's Eve alone with Chinese food.
I am alone with Chinese food.
- I was asleep.
- Oh, s**t. I'm sorry.
No, no, that's okay. Where's Brady?
- It's Steve's night.
- Oh. Right.
- Don't wake up. Go... Go back to sleep.
- No, it's okay.
- You all right?
- I'm fine.
I got all choked up...
...watching stupid New Year's Eve stuff
alone on TV.
- You want me to come over?
- I'm all the way downtown.
No, I can... You know, I can...
I grab a cab.
On New Year's? No way.
I'm... I'm... I'm fine.
Really. I just...
I just wanted to talk a little.
Go back to sleep. I'll...
I'll see you next year.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Good one.
- It's almost time.
- Champagne?
Oh, my God. Thank God you're here.
- Hey.
- Oh, my God.
You're not alone.
Happy New Year.
- A young child that perhaps they've...
- Oh!
- Hey, easy there, girl.
- You all right?
Yeah. Thanks.
Three months driving in L.A.
and I forgot how to use my f**king legs.
Every spring, the women of New York...
... leave the foolish choices of their past
behind and look forward to the future.
This is known as Fashion Week.
Excuse me. Hi.
Oh, there we are.
- We're in the front row?
- I had to pull some strings.
- Very nice.
- I should go thank them.
Decide where we're gonna go for lunch
and I'll make a call. It's just like old times.
So this is what you all
spent your Saturdays doing...
...while I was with Brady and Steve
at the Brooklyn Aquarium?
Well...
...not every Saturday.
Just so you know, we always had
front row at the mammal show.
Steve does the funniest
dolphin impression.
Actually, it's more Steve as a dolphin.
You really can't forgive him?
Are you suggesting something?
I like Steve. I always liked Steve.
He's apologized 100 times.
He's not seeing anyone else.
What's it gonna take?
Are you also suggesting
that she forgive Big?
No. I could kill Big.
Sometimes when I'm running...
...I imagine what I would say to him
if I ever saw him again.
I have the perfect opening line.
Do you wanna hear it?
Uh, yeah.
I curse the day you were born.
That's impressive. You better work up
a hand gesture to go with it.
I didn't know if it was the fashion...
... or the fact that the four of us
were together again...
... but for the first time in a long time...
... I felt like myself.
Well, let's get a cab, okay?
I'm absolutely starving. I don't know what...
Fur is murder!
Murder! Murder!
- Murder! Murder!
- God, I miss New York.
And a couple of weeks later, I met
Saint Louise's St. Louis boyfriend, Will.
Over Christmas, they realized
how much they loved each other.
- I'm Carrie.
- Will.
Just in time for Valentine's Day.
Hello?
I'm calling to make sure that you
aren't hanging from your shower rod.
- You called about an hour too early.
- So, what's the V-Day plan?
Well, Miranda and I are going to dinner...
...and then a very violent slasher movie.
- Perfect.
- You?
I'm making Smith sushi.
Pause for reaction.
Wow, you do that?
We took a class a while back.
And when he comes in that door
at 7:30...
...l'm going to surprise him by
laying naked on the dining-room table...
...covered with homemade sushi.
Boy, you do have time on your hands.
So, what else is new?
There is a whole lot of love in this room.
Is it me or is Valentine's Day
this year on steroids?
No. I think it was like this last year.
We just played for the other team.
Good evening.
This is our Valentine's night menu.
All of our specials are romantically themed
and designed to be split for two.
- Are we having wine?
- Yes.
- Glass or a...?
- Bottle.
I'll be right back to take
you and your girlfriend's order.
Why would you have looked
at the Vogue today of all days?
Because I'm an emotional cutter.
I deserve what I got.
Running all over New York...
...believing that I'm finally getting
my happy ending.
"See? Love does conquer all.
Look at me in
my one-of-a-kind wedding gown...
...marrying the love of my life."
- Would you like another bot...?
- Yes.
- Yes.
And Miranda, in that article,
I did not say "we" once.
No. The whole article
was "I think" and "I want."
- It was from your point of view.
- Yeah, exactly. My point of view.
Exactly. The whole wedding
was my point of view.
I let... I let the wedding
get bigger than Big.
I am the reason that
he did not get out of the car.
Okay.
I said something to Big
that I shouldn't have...
...at the rehearsal dinner.
What do you mean?
After Steve showed up,
I was really upset.
And I bumped into Big...
...and I said that you two
were crazy to get married.
Here we go, your Shiraz.
Okay, great. Thanks so much.
I'm sorry. I was upset. Steve had...
I have been going over this and over this
in my mind for five months.
And for five months,
you kept a secret like that?
- I tried to tell you once, but then...
- Once?
You tried to tell me once?
You should have tried to tell me
every single day.
I know. I was waiting for the right time.
There is no right time to tell me
that you ruined my marriage.
It just happened. I wasn't thinking.
- Carrie, please don't go.
- You know what I think hurts the most?
Is that you kept a secret from me.
And I have never, ever
kept a secret from you.
Ever.
No, I'm lying. For the last five months...
...l've been thinking that it is
a huge mistake that you left Steve.
There.
How does it feel?
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Any minute now.
Hey, babe, it's me. Pick up.
Pick up.
All right, it's 7:20. I'm still at the studio.
We're behind. I'm gonna be a little bit late.
Sorry. Bye.
Forty minutes later...
... sushi, Samantha, still no Smith.
This is bulls**t.
It was the same Valentine night
Samantha had planned...
... minus the sushi.
And the other woman.
I'm home.
- Man, that was a long day.
- You're three hours late.
Bummer, I know. Did you eat?
Yes, I ate.
I ate the sushi
that I hand-made for you.
The sushi that I laid all over my naked body
as a Valentine surprise for you.
Why are you so upset? I called.
I couldn't pick up the phone.
My body was covered everywhere
with sushi.
I got wasabi in places where
one should never get wasabi.
Oh, you think it's funny
that I slaved all day in this kitchen...
...to make a lovely meal for you?
You made some sushi. It's not a big deal.
"Not a big deal." Here.
I am not the type of woman...
...who sits home all day
waiting for a man!
Enjoy your California handmade roll!
Happy f**king Valentine's Day.
It's Carrie, leave me a message.
Carrie, it's me. Please pick up.
Three days of
"I'm sorry" calls and e-mails and flowers...
... and I still wasn't ready.
It was the longest we'd ever gone
without speaking.
Carrie.
Hi.
- I need to talk to you.
- How long have you been waiting here?
Seventeen-dollars long.
Please get in. It just hit 18.
- This is weird, not talking.
- I'm upset.
Carrie, I understand, but it just happened.
I never meant to hurt you.
You have to forgive me.
You know...
- What?
- No.
No, please, what were you gonna say?
You badger me to forgive you
in three days.
You won't even consider forgiving Steve
for something he did six months ago.
It's not the same thing.
It's forgiveness.
I don't know that I can trust
that it won't happen again.
Steve, you're very quiet today.
Miranda, I know I made it hard
for you to trust me...
...but you made it hard for me to trust you.
- Me?
The way you treated me
and cut me out of your life like that.
I mean, yeah, I broke a vow...
...but what about the other vows?
Like promising to love someone
for better or for worse.
What about that?
How do I know she's not gonna
punish me for the rest of my life?
You don't.
And she doesn't know for sure that
you won't have another indiscretion.
All you can know is that
you wanna move forward...
...and risk that the love you have
for each other won't allow that to happen.
And that's what we'll discover here.
So we're done with our last session.
We're not allowed to talk to each other
for two weeks...
...while we figure out if being together
again is something that we really want.
And then we had to
pick a place to meet...
...and if we both show up on that day,
the past no longer exists.
It's like showing up
is the promise to each other...
...that we're both willing to
let it all go and move forward.
Wow.
- Can you do that?
- I don't know.
I don't know.
I have a lot of thinking to do.
- Thinking? Or feeling?
- What do you mean?
Well, Miranda, you're a lawyer. You know,
you can argue both sides of any case.
But why we feel what we feel
isn't logical. It's emotional.
So I'm sorry, Harvard, but I'm afraid...
...you're gonna have to base
this decision on your emotions.
Well, then I'm screwed.
I don't know what I feel.
You will. There will come a moment
when you know.
And if it's "yes,"
then all that brilliant logic...
...it's gonna go right out the window
with the past.
Ugh.
And I thought picking a spot to meet
was gonna be the challenge.
- Where is it?
- On the Brooklyn Bridge.
- Halfway between our two places.
- Very logical, and yet poetic.
Poetic if we both show up.
Otherwise you're on a bridge, rejected.
It's not a good plan.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I got two pieces of good news.
- Oh, and I've got two coffees.
- Thank you.
Here you go. So, what's up?
I just heard from your realtor
and the apartment on 5th has finally sold.
You got 60 days before the new owner
takes possession, and you're out of there.
And what is the other news?
I'm moving back to St. Louis
and we're getting married in the fall.
Oh, my God.
Wait a minute, I gotta see that.
- Well, it's gorgeous.
- And you know what? It ain't rented.
On the day of her decision deadline...
... true to form, Miranda had argued
both sides of the case.
Thank you.
It suddenly dawned on Miranda...
... that Steve's list might have
had more cons than pros.
And Miranda never looked back.
Well, almost never.
Kiss me.
Meanwhile, back in Lost Angeles...
Turns out New Age philosophy
wasn't the secret.
Samantha had money, a career,
and a man who loved her.
But still, she couldn't shake the feeling
that something was missing from her life.
Baby, come back.
That's not our house.
Where are you going?
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
I'm your next-door neighbor...
...and my dog ran up on
your d*ck... Deck.
Suddenly it wasn't so secret
what she was missing.
Wanna join me?
Uh...
Hey. I'm Dante.
Stop by anytime.
It was official.
From the minute she met Dante...
... Samantha was in hell.
And by spring, I looked like my old self...
... in my new apartment,
just in time for the baby shower.
- Oh, excuse me, honey. Hi.
- Sure.
Hi.
A woman put a glass on your new desk
without a coaster.
I said, "If you do it again,
I'm gonna break your arm."
- Thanks.
- Bathroom?
- Yes. Hey, how's it going?
- Pretty good, I think.
Good, good, good.
Where's Samantha?
Her plane landed two hours ago.
Oh, you know her.
She's probably working out first.
There's no place like home.
Sweetie.
You have a rat in your purse.
- That rat better be housebroken.
- Take your coat?
- Sure.
- Hey, cute bag.
Oh, my gosh, Samantha.
You have a dog.
Did you ever think you'd see the day?
Me with a pooch?
Mother of God, what's with the gut?
Well, she's eating something out there.
- Come on in!
- Hi!
We've been waiting for you.
I eat so I won't cheat.
What exactly are you eating?
Everything except Dante's d*ck.
Language, please.
This is a grown-up apartment now.
I guess I didn't realize how big I was
until I saw it on your faces.
How...? And I say this with love.
How could you not realize it?
- I've been avoiding mirrors.
- Well, I'm proud of you for not cheating.
I don't think there's anything
to be proud of.
I stuff my face to stop myself from
doing something that feels natural to me.
Now, listen, this isn't about the weight.
You would look gorgeous at any size.
- But are you happy?
- Well...
...relationships aren't always
about being happy, right?
I mean, how often do you feel happy
in your relationship?
I'm pretty sure that's to you.
- Every day.
- You feel happy every day?
Not all day every day, but every day.
When was the last time you felt happy?
Six months ago.
I think that's normal for L.A.
- What am I gonna do?
- What's your gut tell you?
I know, but Smith stayed with me
through chemo.
And if he can stay with me
through that...
...then I should be able to
stay in this relationship for him.
Sweetie, you just compared
your relationship to chemo.
There we were,
the three mirrors Samantha couldn't avoid.
And Samantha?
That pillow cost $300.
Hi.
My little monster. Hi.
Hey. You're home.
- I thought you were staying the week.
- We need to talk.
Oh, man.
- I knew this was coming.
- Yeah.
This isn't working.
I've done my best.
I've given it five years and 15 pounds.
Well, what?
- You don't love me anymore?
- Yes, I love you.
It's just...
I'm just gonna say the thing
you're not supposed to say.
I love you but I love me more.
And I've been in a relationship
with myself for 49 years...
...and that's the one I need to work on.
You're gonna find a wonderful woman
who loves being in a relationship.
What will you find?
I don't know.
But that's a risk I'm willing to take.
- Hey, no. Keep it.
- Okay.
Every time I look down at it...
...l'm gonna think of you.
Some love stories aren't epic novels.
Some are short stories.
But that doesn't make them
any less filled with love.
At this time...
... we ask that all passengers
fasten their seat belts...
... in preparation for landing.
We're landing in New York.
I'm gonna need to take that now.
Okay. Here we go now. Give me that.
As someone returned to my life...
... someone left.
- Stamps, mailing labels.
- Okay.
And I put all your unopened mail
from your P.O. box in these envelopes.
All right.
And please, please...
...do not make a mess
out of CarrieBradshaw.com.
- Okay.
- It's my masterpiece.
- What am I gonna do without you?
- You'll find some other girl...
...but she won't have my style.
Saint Louise.
You brought me back to life.
And you gave me Louise Vuitton.
Serious. We need to stop crying.
- Your keys.
- Oh, thanks.
Wait, wait, wait. Don't forget your love.
No. I found my love.
I'm leaving that with you.
- See you at my wedding.
- I'll meet you in St. Louis.
Bye.
And a couple of weeks later...
... a slow-moving Charlotte
grabbed a quick lunch.
- Well, when are you due?
- Next week.
- You look gorgeous.
- Oh, thank you.
- Hi. Can I get you something to drink?
- No, no.
- No?
- No. I can't stay.
Help me. Help me move the table.
Charlotte.
Charlotte, wait. Wait.
Charlotte. Charlotte, don't run,
you're pregnant.
I don't wanna see you.
I'm so mad at you.
I was always on your side.
And then you go and you do that to Carrie.
No! No! I'm not gonna cry.
I'm not gonna waste tears on you.
I curse the day you were born.
I think my water just broke. Oh, my God.
- Taxi!
- My car's right there.
I don't wanna get in your car! Taxi!
Please, I gotta get you
to the hospital, okay? Please?
- Okay?
- Lenox Hill.
Okay. Start the car.
Hey.
Hi. Congratulations. A girl.
It's my lot in life to be surrounded
by beautiful women.
Come here.
- She's gorgeous.
- Say hello to Rose.
- Rose. What a beautiful name.
- It's after Harry's bubbe.
Now we got a Lily and a Rose.
Well...
...I have to say,
you two are very cool customers...
...making the "baby's here" call
without all the "I'm in labor" drama.
There was plenty of drama.
My water broke while I was standing
in front of a restaurant.
- Wow, that's very dramatic.
- Wait, wait, she's not done.
- It broke while I was talking to Big.
- What?
See? Drama.
I ran into him and
I got so upset, my water broke.
He brought her to the hospital,
stayed until the baby was born.
I think he was hoping to see you.
Well, today is not about him.
It's about beautiful baby Rose.
So we know she has Charlotte's hair.
What else do we know?
- She's a doll. Mazel tov.
- Thank you.
Bye.
He asked me to ask you to call him.
I know, it's none of my business,
but I felt bad for the schmuck...
...hanging around the hospital
hoping to see you.
Every time he heard someone in heels
walking down the hall, his heart stopped.
Harry, it's... It's so much more complicated
than you can imagine.
I know it is, and you have every right
to never call him, but I just...
I'm a big pile of love today
and I feel bad for the guy.
He said he's been writing you,
but you never responded.
No, he's never written to me.
He said he wrote because
he didn't have your phone number.
No, he's never written. Ever.
Then why would he say he had?
Two hours, two manila envelopes
and countless e-mails later...
... I was just about to give up
on the big riddle when...
I had told Louise to put Big in a place where
I would never have to hear from him again.
This is Louise, leave a message.
Hey... Hey, Louise, it's me.
Can you give me the password
for your assistant file?
Um...
Okay, call me. Thanks.
Oh, s**t.
As soon as I typed in "love,"
there he was.
And because Big
still didn't have the words...
... he retyped a love letter
from Beethoven.
And Lord Byron.
And John Keats.
And Voltaire.
There they were, the love letters
of great men, volume one.
Plus one more
written by John James Preston.
I wanted to call him, but our love...
... Carrie and Big,
volumes one, two and three...
... stopped me.
Hello?
I didn't hear my phone.
We're shopping for my wedding gown.
That dress makes your boobies look big.
- Mama, can you please? This is a work call.
- Shut up.
- No, it's okay, I figured it out.
- Well, I was gonna call you anyway.
Today is the final day
on the 5th Avenue apartment.
You have till 6:00
before they change the locks.
No, I don't need to go over there.
Do you not want those never-worn shoes?
Oh, God, I completely forgot.
If you don't, you can send them to me
and I'll squeeze my feet into them.
But it's already 5:00.
Hello? They are never-been-worn,
$400 shoes.
Actually 525.
Yeah, okay. All right, thanks. Bye.
Taxi!
The light in our prewar apartment...
... looked completely different postwar.
I was gonna get these to you.
I didn't want it to be a total loss.
It wasn't logic, it was love.
Why did we ever decide to get married?
I guess we were afraid
it would mean something if we didn't.
I'm sorry to have done that to you.
I'm sorry to have done that to you.
You know the funny part?
Is there a funny part?
We were perfectly happy before
we decided to live happily ever after.
Guess the joke's on us.
- It's a good closet.
- Thanks.
It's comfortable.
Is this what you had in mind
when you installed the carpet?
I'd like to think I was that smooth.
We better get up
before the new owners bust in on us.
And the way we decided to get married...
...it was all business.
No romance.
That's not the way
you propose to someone.
This is.
Carrie Bradshaw...
...love of my life...
...will you marry me?
See, this is why there's a diamond.
You need to do something
to close the deal.
And forsaking all others...
And in the end, Carrie Bradshaw
married John James Preston...
...in a label-less dress.
- I do.
Then by the power vested in me
by the state of New York...
...I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Ever thine. Ever mine.
Ever ours.
So you're okay that it was just us?
It was perfect. You and me, like I said.
Still, it would have been nice
if you had the girls here.
Which is why I called them.
- Hi, Carrie!
- Mazel tov!
- Ham and eggs. Ham and eggs for you, sir.
- Yup, that's me.
It wasn't a fancy, designer reception either.
Just food and friends.
Butter, ma'am?
How's the marriage going?
"And as I put the wedding gown away,
I couldn't help but wonder:
'Why is it that we're willing
to write our own vows...
...but not our own rules?"'
And that's just a little something
I'm working on.
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
Maybe some labels
are best left in the closet.
Maybe when we label people:
"Bride," "groom," "husband,"
"wife," "married," "single"...
... we forget to look past the label
to the person.
- This is delicious.
- Why did we ever stop drinking these?
- Because everyone else started.
- Well, that one's an oldie but goodie.
And speaking of an oldie but goodie...
- Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday.
Wait, wait, wait. A toast.
To Samantha.
Fifty and fabulous.
To us...
...and the next 50.
To the next 50.
And there, in the same city
where they met as girls...
... four New York women
entered the next phase of their lives...
... dressed head to toe in love.
And that's the one label...
... that never goes
out of style.
Subtitles by LeapinLar