Go. Go!
Oh. Um. Hi.
Uh. My name is Mary O'Reilly
O'Toole O'Shea. And. Uh...
Don't be nervous.
Somewhere out there
is the island my friend Muffy owns.
It's spring break...
and she's invited us
over there for the weekend.
- And...
- Uh-huh.
We're waiting for the ferry now
to take us there. And...
I don't know what else to say.
Well. Why don't you tell us
something about yourself?
Oh. All right.
Something about myself.
Yeah.
I want to work
with handicapped children.
And my parents are my best friends.
Oh. And I start convent school
next semester...
and I f**k on the first date.
April Fool's.
Well. Nikki.
baby. You're outrageous!
Ha. Now get out of here.
you knucklehead.
All right.
Uh. Kit. Kit. How about you?
- Uh. Pass.
- Uh. Arch. Skip. Where are you?
- Yeah. Yeah. Uh. Yeah.
- Come on. Help me out.
Yeah. Sure. Uh-huh.
I f**k on the first date.
Didn't we? We did.
On the first date.
- Didn't we. Honey? He's an animal.
- Get off of me.
Oh. s**t!
Need any help down there?
No. Clara. Thanks. I'm just trying
some last minute straightening up.
God. I don't think
I've worked so hard in my life.
- Ow.
- Sure you don't want me to stay?
There'll be nobody to help till the
first ferry back Monday. You know.
No. Clara. You're a peach.
This one's mine.
I told my father I'd do it.
and I will. My way.
We don't want him
to have any excuses.
All right then.
Have a nice party.
Nice?
It's gonna be better than nice.
It's gonna be
bloody unforgettable.
Good luck.
Here comes the ferry.
- Come on.
- I call shotgun.
- Is this the St. John house ferry?
- Yeah. Any second now.
Oh. Thank goodness. I didn't know
if I was on the right road or not.
Here. Let me help you. Kit Graham.
- Nan Youngblood.
- Hi. And that's Nikki Brashears.
Are you planning
on staying a while?
Um. No. It's just some...
Some work for finals
when we get back.
- I'm so far behind.
- Hi. How's it going?
- I got it. Hi. Arch Cummings.
- Hi. Nan.
- I've seen you around. Jewett Hall?
- Yeah.
Chaz Vyshinsky.
You've got great legs.
Chaz. Now that she
already has her bags...
I only met Muffy this term
in Drama Society.
I volunteered to do their costumes.
I like to sew.
- Did you see her in Ghosts?
- No.
Oh. She was wonderful.
She's so talented.
Yeah. She is.
Guy. Your fly is open...
and your Hostess Twinkie
is hanging out.
Huh?
Come on if you're coming.
Um. Excuse me. Sir. But
we're still waiting for someone...
This is Friday... my last run
of the week. I don't get overtime.
But you have to wait because
this is the only way over...
and if he misses this one.
then how is he sup...
Wait up!
Go. Go. Go. Go!
Sorry. Guys.
Nik. Chaz. Hi.
- Rob Ferris. Hi.
- Hi.
Whoa! Hi.
Harvey Hal Edison. Jr.
But call me Hal. Only my folks call
me Harve. And I can't stand it.
Uh. Sure is a pretty spot here.
isn't it?
You're friends
with Muffy St. John?
Sure am.
We sit together in Econ 345.
I let her copy
my marginal utility curves.
Oh. I get it.
That's a joke!
- Harve...
- Hal! Springsteen! Still the Boss!
Okay. Let's go.
We don't have all day.
You all. Uh. Buddies?
Except for Skip and Nan.
They only just met.
But we will be.
Careful what you say to him.
though. He's Muffy's cousin.
- Oh. No kidding!
- Distant.
Over the horizon. Otherwise.
I wouldn't have been invited.
Old money never mixes
family with friends.
This is true.
for as long as I've known her.
Or to protect her family.
I guess.
No. To keep her friends.
Choose your weapons. Big guy.
- Hey. Hey. What's this?
- You up for a game of stretch?
- Okay.
- Skip. Your fly is open.
Eat it.
Ah. Rob.
Your fly is open.
Okay. Don't believe me.
Oh. Nice.
We're off.
Bye.
First round. The champ!
You know what I find amazing?
Muffy's her real name.
I mean. My name's Harvey.
but they call me Hal.
So I figured Muffy must stand
for something... Muffin?
Muff-child. Moffo.
the Muffster. Muff'n' stuff.
Muff dive.
Hi. What are you reading?
Uh. Milton's Paradise Lost.
For Professor Russo's course
in English epic.
- Hmm.
- You know. It's a shame.
- It's a dying form.
- Dying.
Not too many people read it
nowadays. Even in college.
Really?
What about you?
Oh. Treasure island. The history
of pornography in America.
Kit. I'm a state university boy.
I don't have the perks like some
of you private college kids do.
Don't give me that.
First. I'm hoping to interview
with her daddy's company...
southern regional sales.
next year before graduation.
You know. He's worth more than
50 million over the counter.
But I don't think that's why
she invited me. Do you?
I mean. My God.
we're not going to be sheltered...
little college kids our whole life.
Wake up. Smell the bacon. Nan.
It's research
that I can do all on my own.
And this is the best part.
I never get tired of it.
You wanna take a look?
Bruce's car was in the shop.
- I mean. It was really...
- But that's not my point.
f**k!
Oh. My God!
We're gonna spend a weekend there?
What are you. A f**king wimp?
Hey. I'm really
not that interested anymore.
Come on. Man. Just one more!
Double or nothing!
Here. Enough's enough.
- Oh. What? What are you. Scared?
- Hey. I said give it a rest!
Oh. f**k!
I'll get him. I'll get him.
- Where is he. Guys?
- Where is he?
What you looking for?
We got 'em!
Oh. Yeah. Did we nail 'em!
Ha. Ha. Ha. April Fool's.
Very funny.
What's wrong with you? Somebody
could have gotten hurt out there.
Oh. At least we don't go for
"this shoelace is untied" crap.
You know that.
Oh. Great! s**t!
Okay. Buck.
Come on out of there.
Come on.
I'm gonna need some help up here.
No. No.
I'll just do it from here.
Throw me the line.
- This one?
- That's the one. That'll work.
Thank you.
Some hero you turned out to be.
I took off my jacket and shoes.
What do you want from me?
There were three guys in the water.
- I'm only kidding.
- Nikki. Can we borrow your towel?
Yeah.
You guys got to admit
it was a hell of a trick.
- I loved it.
- Unforgettable.
Buck. look out!
- Oh. s**t!
- Call a medic!
Calm him down!
- We gotta get him to a doctor!
- Cal!
- Cal!
- The boat!
The boat!
Calm him down!
They did it! They did it!
What's going on?
Sam. What happened?
Tricks. Pranks.
Ask your friends.
- Is your dad around?
- No. He's in Sutton Place. Why?
You haven't heard from him
or anyone else?
Uh. look. I'm gonna have to borrow
your boat to get back to shore.
We keep all the keys on a board
in the kitchen.
But I think there's an extra one
underneath the cushion there.
Look. You people.
Stay put. All of you.
If anything else happens
or if anything happens to Buck...
I wanna know where to find you.
Skip. It's not your fault.
It was an accident.
You didn't know.
Sure. Did you see his face?
Muffy. Nothing bad
ever happens to her.
Well. There's an awful lot
to be done with this place.
- You sound as if you own it.
- I will.
If all goes well.
next month. When I turn 21...
it's my first stage
of inheritance.
First stage?
What's your second?
Taxes. You may be talking
to your future boss. Harve.
Nikki...
burn my bags. Baby.
I am home!
Oh. Yeah!
I could get really used to this.
We used to spend all our summers
here before my mother died.
This is a very special place
to me.
It's like a dream.
On a clear day.
you can see the Kennedys.
Wow! You guys. look at this.
Oh. Muffers!
Our very own place settings...
with our very own place cards...
and a his and her little dolly!
- It's just like in Agatha Christie.
- And sporks!
- "Sporks"?
- And napkins with bunnies on 'em.
Gee. Muff.
you really spared no expense.
Well. Now how do you think Daddy
made his money?
The old-fashioned way...
he inherited it.
I used to have
all of her outfits.
Hold it!
Now don't anybody move...
but before this night is over.
somebody in this room...
will pull his wang.
"My first experience was. 'A. '
painful and degrading...
"'B. ' not so hot.
but I really cared about him...
"'C. ' I was ready to try again...
or'D. ' wildly exciting...
I had an orgasm. "
"A" and part of"B."
"Painful and degrading. " "Not so
hot. But I really cared about him. "
Aw. That's so sweet!
I'll take "B."
"Not so hot.
but I really cared about him. "
Was it Rob?
Uh. No. It wasn't Rob.
Uh. What about you. Nikki?
Um. "A" and "D"...
"Painful and degrading. " "Wildly
exciting... I had an orgasm. "
What can I say? Uh...
Anyway. "The one thing
I haven't tried yet...
"but am intensely curious about is:
"'A. ' oral sex...
"'B. ' anal entry...
"'C. ' S and M. 'D. ' group sex...
'E. ' lesbian sex
or 'F. ' all of the above. "
What was "C"?
Hi. My name is Mary O'Toole
O'Reilly O'Shea...
and I want to go to convent
school and things like that.
Welcome. Welcome to my home...
and lifestyles
of the rich and undeserving.
Uh. My name is Arch Cummings.
and I'm on a mission here.
I'm on a mission to bed as many
women as humanly possible.
Nan's out. To be honest.
Uh. She likes the theater...
and. Well.
you know what I'm saying.
She's out of first round draft
choices. If you know what I mean.
Poor boy can say.
"f**k you. Dad.
I'm my own person. "
What's his father gonna do.
kick him out of the house?
Disinherit him?
His life won't have changed much.
He's got nothing to lose.
His father's love.
That was lost
a long. Long time ago.
Skip. Blaming yourself
won't make Buck any better.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Ta-da!
- Boy. Muffy. You sure know...
how to make a guy look forward
to dessert.
Please. God.
let it be Ding-Dongs.
St. John hospitality
taken to the extreme.
I think it's real friendly.
Makes me feel right at home.
How are we gonna feel
after these beans?
You guys!
Care for some beans?
I wonder how Buck's doing.
- Should call or something?
- I'll call later.
I'm sure he's getting the best
medical care available. Right?
You guys.
let's change the subject.
Well. Uh...
Harve's got his job interview
all figured out.
What about the rest of us?
Does anyone know...
what they're gonna be doing
after graduation?
- Good choice. Arch.
- This is incredible.
Here we are.
privileged. Independent...
the hope for the future
right at this table.
None of us knows what we're gonna
do with the rest of our lives.
- Rob knows.
- Kit. Come on.
Rob is going to medical school.
No s**t.
You got early acceptance?
We can talk about this
at some other time.
Why? You already had the meeting
with your counselor.
Kit. I don't think he wants to talk
about it in front of everybody.
- No. No. I don't mind.
- We're all friends here. Right?
Sort of.
He said to forget it.
He said that my grades
might be okay...
but. Well. Basically. I possess
an essential lack of seriousness.
And that's what they look for.
Him too? That's what my guy said.
I said. "You gotta be kidding.
"I mean. How can anyone
be serious about anything...
"when some moron can steal
a bomb or push a button...
and nuke us all
until our shadows glow?"
He wasn't impressed with that.
but...
Oh. What's this?
Dom Perignon sparkling rose?
Smells like Ripple.
You have outdone yourself again.
St. John.
Can I make a toast?
Well...
someone once said to me...
to cherish the friends
you make in college.
I try to cherish
all the friends I make.
- Stop it!
- Because...
they'll be the friends you cherish
most for the rest of your life.
So. Well. Here's to us.
And here's to my life...
because I'm very glad
to be here...
and to be a part of all of you.
Muffy. Anything
you want to add to that?
Why me?
Because you're the hostess.
Okay. In his Life ofJohnson...
James Boswell said...
"We cannot predict the precise
moment when friendships are formed.
"As in filling a vessel.
drop by drop...
there is at last one
which makes it run over. "
"So. In a series... "
"So. In a series of kindnesses...
"there is at last one...
which makes the heart run over.
"So. With his toast...
may our hearts run over
and our friendships be formed. "
- All right.
- Oh. Cheers!
- Cheers!
- Going down.
- Oh. My God!
- Oh. No!
April fool.
Wow. What is this.
the bridal suite?
You like it?
I thought you needed the room.
I'll find a use for it.
Um. I know you and Arch had
something going before I met him.
Arch is sweet.
but he only has two expressions...
collar up and collar down.
Yeah. I found that out.
Um. Guess what I'm trying
to say now is...
Um. Well. You always seem
to get there first...
but this time Chaz is mine. Okay?
What about Hal?
Harvey? Mr. Junior Achievement?
Oh. Please!
Yuck!
Don't try to tell me you hadn't
thought of me in that way. Muffy.
Why. I felt
the spark between us...
the very first time
we ever laid eyes on each other.
In Econ 345.
Why. Just think of it. Muffy.
With my talent...
and your...
money...
All right. Ladies.
We're gonna have some privacy.
You gotta be kidding.
Unless Muffy knows something
about us we don't.
Hold me. Big fella. Hold me!
Just holster it. Cowboy. Will ya?
Let's play hide the sausage.
Giddyap!
- Oh. Hold me like a man. General!
- Stop it!
Why. Just think of it. Muffers.
With my raw. Drivin' talent...
and your. Uh...
And your...
Wrong room.
s**t.
Aw. Come on.
Are you still angry with me?
About dinner?
No.
I'm sorry. I'm not angry at you.
I'm just angry.
Ow! Jesus!
Very funny.
Boo! Muffy.
Arch.
- Hi. Muff. Hi.
- Ah. Ah. Hmm.
Um. Do you know
what time it is. love?
- Mm-hmm!
- Oh. My God!
Good night.
Wait.
Real funny. You guys!
Better ride than you can give me!
Hello?
s**t.
Who's there?
f**k! Jesus Christ!
Fuckin' cat.
Oh. God.
Mornin'.
I was having a nightmare about Buck.
and I don't know what to...
Good morning.
I was just hungry.
I must look a mess.
- Oh!
- Good morning. Muff.
I forgot to get dressed.
- So who made her night?
- I don't know.
- Where's Skip?
- That depends what he's on.
- You guys have gotta be kidding.
- Bye-bye.
Hey. Nan.
Nan. What about it? Come on.
No. Thanks.
Besides. I thought I'd wait
to see what Muffy wanted to do.
Chaz. Calm down!
- Whoa!
- He comes down with it!
- I got it!
- No. That's my bad knee!
I got it! I got Nikki.
you get the ball.
I've got her. She's covered.
Good one. Harve!
Good one. Harve!
Behind ya. Baby!
Hey. Rob. What's wrong?
I'm just thinking...
about that meeting
I had with my adviser.
I feel like I'm going nowhere.
He always said
you weren't serious enough.
Kit. Maybe it's crazy
you investing so much energy in me.
Oh. Yeah. Sure.
You feel this way about me now.
What about a year from now
when I'm a TV repairman.
All those other guys
up there are...
- You're right.
- I know. I told you. I'm right.
- You're right.
- I know.
I'm right.
I said I'm right.
- There's no question.
- I'm right.
You're a jerk.
Huh! God. I am.
Wait a minute.
Come here. Baby.
Skip. You son of a b*tch!
Respectable young Quaker couple...
returning from quiet afternoon
of nonviolent sex.
So how was it?
Where's Skip?
Has anybody seen him?
- Who wants to know?
- Goddamn it!
Can't you just give me
a straight answer?
We just saw him down at the
boathouse. Drifting by on a boat.
And he wasn't moving. He looked
dead. Unless he was joking...
- Well. If it was Skip...
- I saw his face. Chaz!
Look. Has anybody seen him
since last night?
Jesus Christ!
We'll look for him.
I'll go with you.
I'm coming too.
What's happening?
Is something wrong?
Skip? Hey. a**hole!
- Hey. Skip!
- Hey. Wait a minute.
Look at this.
Skip's knife.
Think it was that guy on the ferry?
I don't know.
Man. I don't know what to think.
I say we go looking for him.
Him or Skip.
One of'em has gotta be around here.
- You mean split up?
- Let's not...
No sucker's taking me in.
I know why you're avoiding me.
I guess it's your idea of a joke.
That's why you invited me here.
isn't it? Isn't it?
How did you find out.
from one of your preppy friends?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Oh. You mean the tape
just got there. Just appeared?
You know.
I thought you wanted to be friends.
Any sign of Skip?
No luck here.
- Well. Where's Arch?
- He was with you!
s**t! That's it.
I don't like this. I definitely
don't think I like this.
It's time to call the police.
8248. Constable Potter
has an office at his home.
- Come on.
- Who wants tea?
It'll relax the nerves.
Is she kidding?
I didn't know what kind
anybody would like...
so I brought them all.
Well. Here. Let me help you.
I'll get you some water.
Has he reached the constable?
We haven't been able to get
through to the mainland yet.
- Oh!
- Oh. The main.
- It's probably broken.
- There's no water?
- What's happening?
- There's no water!
- What?
- It happens sometimes.
But there's still the well.
Jesus. I'll go. Just point me
in the right direction.
Uh. Not without me.
I'm not worried about those two...
Skip and Art.
They're probably playing
some kind of stupid trick.
Yeah. Probably.
Is that it?
Boy. When she said well.
she really meant well.
Who dug this thing. Pocahontas?
Oh. Here. Let me do that. I probably
have more experience than you.
You mean back home on the farm?
I know you think I'm a hick.
I'd like to change your mind about
that if you'd give me a chance.
Why?
Because I would really like
to plow your field.
Draw me some water.
Oh. Crap!
- What happened?
- I lost the bucket.
Harve.
Hal! And the rope was rotten.
Any fool could have seen that.
You didn't.
Would you shine your light down
there so I can get a fix on it?
- Oh!
- Nice going.
Okay. So I spazzed out.
Now we're even.
Uh-huh. And what do we do now?
Well. look. There are little rungs
leading down the side.
So?
- So you'd better get a move on.
- Are you crazy?
I don't relish spending the rest
of the weekend without water.
Well. I'm not going down there.
- Okay. Fine.
- Whoa. Whoa!
- Wait a minute. What are you doing?
- What's it look like?
Well. I don't think
you ought to do that.
Uh. Nikki? Nik...
Harvey. I'm a big girl now.
I think I can handle
a few spiders and frogs.
Just be careful down there.
all right?
- Watch what you're doing.
- Watch what I'm doing.
That's a hot one.
I can barely see a thing.
Well. Just watch out anyway. Okay?
Just be careful.
Nikki? Nikki! Hey. Answer me!
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Help! Uh. Nikki!
Nikki! Help! Answer me!
Uh. Help! Rob! Kit! Help!
Nikki. Damn it! Answer me! Nikki!
Nikki! s**t!
Oh. My God!
Come on! Grab my hand!
Nikki! Nikki! Come on.
Come on! Come on! Reach!
Damn it. Come on!
Come on! Come here!
Come on!
It's okay now.
With the others. They were outside.
But. You see. We're inside.
so we're safe now.
It's all because of what happened
at the ferry. Isn't it?
It was an accident.
Christ. Don't they know that?
Uh. Muffy.
where do you keep your guns?
Guns?
We don't keep guns in this house.
- Here.
- God. Not the water!
It's all right. It's Perrier.
Here.
Hello?
Oh. Constable Potter.
Listen. Man. You gotta help us!
Arch and Skip and Nan...
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What are you talking about?
That ain't possible.
And I'm telling you. I'm at the
hospital right now visiting Buck.
With Muffy?
What are you saying?
Yeah. All right.
all right. All right.
Look. Just please.
please get here. Okay?
He's on his way.
He wants us to wait here
and stay together.
- What about the ferryman?
- It wasn't him.
They've been together all day.
- What?
- I don't understand.
I don't either.
Look. He's gonna send up a flare
as soon as he's nearing the dock.
And then we go down as a group
and meet him there.
In the meantime.
we just wait here.
It's my father's study.
Oh. I just came in to make sure
that everything was secure.
I had to lock those windows.
Good idea.
Sometimes...
with the tides.
it could take somebody...
all night to get here
from the mainland.
And even then sometimes
they don't make it.
Yeah. Yeah.
What is taking him so long?
Maybe it's the tides.
Wait a minute. Aren't we supposed
to be staying together?
What about Rob and Muffy?
- Rob's out back checking the doors.
- Yeah. Well. What about Muffy?
She's been acting
less than normal anyway.
- What do you mean?
- All day and you haven't noticed?
- Well. Who isn't?
- Those are nurse's shoes.
What nurse's shoes?
The clodhoppers she's been walking
around in today. Crepe soles?
Uh. She was arguing
with Nan in the hall...
before you and Rob
came back alone...
from the woods.
About something Nan found
in her room.
- Something...
- What?
Something about an abortion.
I found something in my room too.
- I don't think it was for me.
- Oh. Really?
- Oh. f**k you. Chaz.
- What did you find?
I didn't find anything.
Uh-huh. And we're just
supposed to believe that. Right?
That's right. I spent
the night with Nikki. Harve.
- What about you?
- What about me?
What's your little secret. Huh?
- What are you talking about?
- Oh. Come on. Sporto.
I came into your room. You were
jumping like your a** was on fire.
That was nothing! Some newspaper
clippings of some car accidents.
Nothing personal in that?
- Who hasn't had a car accident?
- I haven't.
Knock it off. Chaz!
What I wanna know is. How did Muffy
find out about this stuff and...
Stop it!
Just stop it. You guys!
What's wrong with us?
What happened to our talk...
about friendship
and undying loyalty?
Do you know what we're saying?
We're actually sitting here...
discussing the possibility that
Muffy. A good friend of ours...
has invited us
all here this weekend to...
I'm going upstairs.
Muffy. Listen.
we should all stay together.
This is my home.
I'll be in my room.
She does have a point there. We're
getting on each other's nerves.
As long as we all just stay within
shoutin' distance of each other.
Are you coming?
I'm gonna find a way
up to the attic.
Why?
I can probably see the constable
better from up there.
It's all right.
I can keep watch on the stairs.
- Nikki. Come on.
- "Nikki. Come on. "
Don't give me any of this
"Nikki. Come on. "
- What are you doin'?
- What does it look like I'm doin'?
Look. Stay if you like.
Lock your door.
dig a trench. Hang out.
But once I leave this place.
I'm never coming back.
We were supposed to all
stay together.
Oh. Yeah.
that has been real effective!
What are you...
So what are you gonna do?
Waltz down to the end
of the pier by yourself?
Check your bags
with the porter and wait...
for a stray ocean liner
to happen by and pick you up?
I can't stay here anymore.
What if the constable
never even shows?
Then I'll swim all the way back
to the mainland if I have to!
Okay. You relax.
Oh. Great. Three people are dead.
and you are telling me to relax.
Nikki. Just wait a minute.
Okay. Nikki? Look at me.
Nikki. look at me!
Okay. I know you've
been through a lot.
We have all been through a lot.
Now. Am I nervous? Yes.
Am I a little bit scared? Yes.
But am I running around like
a chicken with its head cut off?
- Oh. Nice image.
- No!
I mean. You gotta just
lighten up a little bit.
Come on. Hey!
Would the birdman of S and M worry?
Very funny. Chaz.
You gotta look at
the bright side of things.
- Everything's gonna be okay.
- Would you take that thing off?
Okay. Okay.
How about this one?
You are such a jerk.
This one's turning you on.
I can tell.
Kiss me. You savage she-devil!
Get away from me!
Stop it. Stop it some more.
I love it when you're rough.
Of course. It would help a little
if I could breathe in here.
Just a little.
Come and get it!
Very subtle. Chaz.
What am I supposed to do?
Just throw off my clothes
and jump on top of you?
Just wind her up and watch her go.
You have got a lot to learn. Buddy.
What is this. Show and tell?
You show me yours...
and then I get to show you mine?
Well. Forget it.
You can just take that thing and
shove it right back in your pants.
Oh. Come on. Chaz.
Just say something.
No one's been up here in years.
Here.
Do you see him?
No. He must not
have a light on his boat.
Maybe he's chosen not to use it.
He said something else
about Muffy on the phone.
- What?
- He said not to trust anyone.
That's why we were
supposed to stay together.
No one was to be left alone
with anyone else.
Then he said.
"Especially not with Muffy. "
- Well. What did he mean by that?
- He wouldn't explain it.
- That's ridiculous.
- Is it? Think about it.
He's known her a lot longer
than we have.
Wait. Wait. Rob.
What's that?
Just the dolls.
- Rob. She's been up here.
- So?
Jesus!
It's Arch. Skip and Nan.
There's two over there.
Hey. He's here.
Come on.
- I can't find Harvey.
- I can't find anyone.
Nikki's door's locked.
Rob. It was locked.
- Oh. Jesus!
- Wait. Rob! What about Muffy?
- Forget her!
- She's my friend!
Muffy. Open the...
Run. Kit! Run!
Get out of here!
Come on!
Constable Potter?
Hey. Wait. Rob.
Rob. Don't go in there.
If there's another flare.
we can signal him.
Maybe he already went
back up to the house.
s**t. There's no key.
Damn it.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
Look.
"State Hospital.
Pursuant to our previous
communications. Please be advised...
that the patient under discussion
has still not been found...
and returned to custody.
and is now believed...
to be attempting to return
to her home in your jurisdiction.
If encountered.
exercise extreme caution...
and notify us immediately...
as Miss St. John has been
a patient here for three years...
and is still considered incorrigibly
unstable and extremely dangerous. "
Miss St. John?
Muffy hasn't been in
an institution for three years.
She's been at Vassar.
We gotta get this boat started.
How?
The house.
Didn't Muffy say there was a key
in the kitchen back in the house?
I can't go back up there.
I can't go back...
We've got no choice.
We've gotta go back.
Rob. look.
The doors... they've been closed.
There.
That's how we're goin' in.
Here. Hold this.
Yeah. Good idea.
Now. Where are the stairs?
What's that?
Rob. look.
Oh. My God.
- It's Muffy's clothes.
- I don't get it.
- Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
- What?
What's that?
I don't know.
Oh. My God.
The picture of the girls
in the study.
That letter.
And what the constable
was trying to tell you.
It's not Muffy.
It's her twin sister. Buffy.
She's got a twin sister!
Rob. Don't you see?
Oh. My God!
Pull it away.
- Rob. I can't pull it...
- Pull it away!
The boat key...
it's gotta be in here somewhere.
Where is it?
Look on the walls!
Is there a key board?
Jesus!
Look in the cupboards!
I can't find it!
I can't find it!
Goddamn it!
Damn it!
Where is it?
Let me out. Kit!
Let me out of here!
Run. Kit! Run!
Please. Just leave us alone. Okay?
Please. We're just
gonna go home now.
Come on.
- Stop!
- Babe!
Please. Just let us leave.
Buffy. You can stop now.
Stop!
Buffy. No!
I love you. Kit!
Please. Please don't.
Please.
Please. Buffy.
Just let us go. Please.
That's really funny. You guys!
Really funny.
f**k you!
Kit. I love you!
Kit. I love...
I love you too. Babe.
...two. Three!
April Fool's!
You guys are so terrific.
I love you all. And I wanna thank
you from the bottom of my heart...
for being such good sports.
Yeah. Sure.
Hey. Quite welcome. Anytime.
You and Kit.
you two were the best!
You figured it all out.
The clues... they really worked.
- What clues?
- What's this all about?
And don't anyone say April Fool's
again. Or I'll rip 'em apart.
April Fool's!
How about I tell ya...
it's a script for a weekend special
that's gonna help me keep the house.
Look. Next month...
I get the house as part of my
mother's inheritance. It's true...
but only if I could show my father
that it could carry itself...
what with taxes
and expenses and all.
Otherwise. He's gonna
sell it out of the family.
So I decided to turn it
into a country inn.
But not just a stuffy old
run-of-the-mill country inn.
One that specializes
in offering...
a once-in-a-lifetime
whodunnit weekend.
I needed a rehearsal.
I had to try my idea
out on somebody.
So you guys all had
a part in this. Right?
Don't look at me.
We got sucked into this
just as badly as you did.
Once you were all
killed off. Yes.
But everybody had to cooperate.
or none of it would've worked.
So then I guess there's no
twin sister Buffy. Then.
There's a crazy twin. All right.
but his name isn't Buffy.
- His name?
- Skip?
- He's your brother?
- You bastard!
- You were in on the whole deal too.
- Only the setup.
She told me to say I was her cousin
so we could pull the ferry prank.
And I had no idea
what was gonna happen to Buck.
Buck Williams.
makeup artist par excellence.
I got somethin' for you. Big guy.
Here. Catch.
These were old props I redressed
with help from Muffy's photographs.
Sure fooled me.
So I take it that
this isn't the constable.
Kit Graham. I want you to meet
my uncle Frank St. John...
of St. John et Freres
of Wall Street.
Hi. Harvey "Hal" Edison. Jr.
Pleased to meet you. Sir.
How did I do?
I never done no actin' before.
I was really shakin'.
Cal is our regular ferryman between
the mainland and the islands.
But I thought he was up
to the dramatic challenge.
You know. Muff. You were so lucky.
You could've gotten yourself killed.
Well. I nearly did
with Harve over there.
And who could've known about
the snake in the woods with Arch.
But with the paying guests. They're
gonna know what they're in for...
and the scenario
won't be nearly so extreme.
I do regret...
some of the fake clues
that I put into the bedrooms...
were taken a bit too seriously...
and I'm sorry about that.
But we had fun. Didn't we?
Come on!
I'm never gonna forget
this weekend as long as I live.
You're tellin' me.
When I was out there swingin' in the
woods. I nearly crapped my pants.
What you mean. Nearly?
I was there. Remember?
You browned your trousers?
Well...
- You know. I was...
- It's all right. Arch.
They'll be out of the dryer soon.
Come on. Drink.
Drink.
Come here. You maniac.
Wait. Muffy. What are you...
What are you doing?
April fool.