My wife and I have
been doing our show
for a long time.
In the beginning,
radio seemed like
the perfect gig...
because we were
at the ground floor...
and the sky was the limit.
But after a while...
we realized...
unless you've got
national exposure,
radio means...
nothing.
So last week I went down
to the local TV station...
and I told them Gloria and I
were interested in doing...
a televised version
of our show.
Know what they said?
We weren't "telegenic".
Now, what the hell
does that mean?
We've been doing this
for 17 years.
Nobody does talk
better then we do.
And they wouldn't even
give us a shot.
I want to be on television.
When I walk down the street,
I want people to recognize me.
I'd like to be appreciated.
I want to be like you.
If you know anyone
at that station...
if there's any way
you can help us...
What are you offering me?
I've got some money.
Not interested.
We could do
some very nice promos
for your department.
What's the most
important thing
in your life, Mel?
My wife, Gloria.
She's my anchor.
Yeah, but what matters more
to you than anything else?
[sighing]
Me. My future.
That's all?
My future's all I've got.
Then you're worthless.
What?
I've seen your future, Mel...
and it's tragic.
I thought we could
make a deal.
You don't have anything
to bargain with.
Now get out of here.
You son of a b*tch,
why'd you even bother
to meet with me?
Call me a fan.
I'm not gonna forget this,
Lucas.
I swear I'm gonna
find a way to hurt you.
I'm gonna bring you down.
[door slamming]
[birds chirping]
(Holt)
Good morning, Caleb.
Hi.
Hi, yourself.
(Crower)
Everything okay?
[sighs]
Fine and dandy.
(Crower)
Maybe I'll take
those pancakes to go.
(Holt)
Thanks a lot.
Good luck.
[sighing]
So?
So what?
So, you want to tell me
what's bothering you?
No.
Okay.
You wouldn't
believe me anyway.
How do you know?
Well, do you
believe in ghosts?
I do if you do.
Well, up until a week ago,
my dead sister
was talking to me.
Now what do you
think about that?
Well, now, you see,
that doesn't
surprise me at all.
My Aunt Ruth used to
talk to me all the time.
In fact, if I hadn't
given up her memory...
she'd probably still
be jabbering to this day.
I don't have to let go
of Merly, she already
took care of that.
What do you mean?
She don't come around no more.
And she didn't
even say goodbye.
I see.
Well, did you
say goodbye to her?
No.
That just may be the problem.
I mean, if you're still
clinging to her,
maybe she feels trapped.
Trapped where?
Between you
and wherever it is
she's supposed to be.
Maybe you should give her
a going away party.
Are you serious?
Worked with my Aunt Ruth.
But I don't want Merly gone.
I want her here.
But she's not here, Caleb.
And the best thing
you can do for her now...
is to let her know
that you've accepted that.
Come on. I wanna
show you something.
All right...
here we are.
Holt family scrapbook.
What's in there?
All kinds of things.
Pictures, newspaper clippings,
secret recipes...
and...
a program on
a going away party
for the dead.
No.
Look for yourself.
"Second funeral"?
My great-grandfather's
going away party.
See, he was kind of
a restless spirit.
So the family had to
let him know
it was okay to move on.
It says they burned
his stuff in the fire.
That's part of it.
It's an old custom, Caleb.
Can I borrow this?
No.
There's a lot of other things
in here I don't want
you messing with.
So, do you want
to give this a try?
Can I get Boone to help me?
It's your party.
Thanks.
[rooster crowing]
(Mel on radio)
Wake up.
[alarm ringing]
8:04, 910 Talk
with Mel and Gloria...
on WIX Trinity.
We're taking calls...
and this morning
we're talking
about relationships.
That's right, guys.
Put away the football.
It's the old man-woman thing.
And believe me,
it wasn't my idea.
(Gloria)
Hey.
Hey nothing.
She bribed me, folks.
Promised me breakfast in bed
for a week if we did this one.
What's wrong
with relationships?
Nothing, love bug,
but why do we have
to talk about them?
You see, women talk. Men act.
Am I right, guys?
Good. Then you can
bring me breakfast in bed
for a week.
Uh-oh, the wife's riled now.
Take a call, Mel.
Okay, you're on WIX.
Please state your name,
rank...
and weirdest thing
you've ever done
in a reclining position.
(woman)
Hey, Mel. My husband never
says a word to me no more.
When I was younger
it was different, but now...
Have you tried forcing him
into a life of radio, ma'am?
It worked for Gloria.
That was a joke, Glo.
Gee, can we cue
the laugh track or something?
We've got tumbleweeds
blowing in here. Next caller.
(man)
The weirdest thing I ever done
in a reclining position...
was to take my garden hose
and stick it up my...
Thank you for sharing, sir.
You're on WIX.
(Selena)
Mel?
No.
Since you're talking
about relationships...
why don't you tell
your wife about ours.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I didn't catch your name,
ma'am.
[dial tone buzzing]
Friend of yours?
Don't be crazy.
Are we screening
these calls, or what?
Okay, you're back
with the happy couple.
(Jean)
Mel?
Yeah?
Would you talk
to my husband, please?
Love to.
Would you speak up, ma'am?
I'm having a little trouble
hearing you.
Look, he took a shot
at the postman and now
the deputy's outside.
Does this deputy
happen to work
for Lucas Buck, ma'am?
Are you all right?
Yeah, but I'm scared
of what he's gonna do.
I thought maybe
you could talk
some sense into him.
(Ben)
Lance?
[dog barking]
You have to listen
to me now, Lance.
(Ben)
Lance!
This is my property, Ben.
You got no right coming here.
You can't go
shooting the postman
for delivering bills, Lance.
If you got
financial problems...
You're my problem now, Deputy!
[gun corking]
Jean? Are you in there?
Look, he's calling for me.
Just hang on,
we're gonna
get you through this.
If he's got a gun,
she should get out.
Glo, I think I can
make this work for us.
What do you mean?
I think I can do
something with this.
Okay, Jean, we're with you.
Just hang on, we're with you.
Look, Lance,
now this is your property.
Nobody's disputing that.
But you can't go around
shooting at people.
Damn it, Lance.
Now, I'm coming in.
Ben, don't!
No!
[Jean screams]
No, no!
You shot him? You shot him?
[crying]
He shot him.
[Jean crying]
(woman on PA system)
Dr. Crawford, please pick up
extension three.
[door opening]
Is he going to be okay?
Doc says he'll be
off his feet for a while.
His hip was shattered.
Oh, jeez.
It could've been worse.
Another quarter inch
to the right and it would've
hit an artery.
I'm sorry, Ben.
This never should've happened.
(Mel)
Damn straight.
Who are you?
Mel Kirby.
I was on the air
with the victim's wife
when he was shot.
Yeah, the radio guy.
How's the patient, nurse?
Recovering.
I'm around if you need me.
Thanks.
So, how do you feel, Deputy?
Lousy.
Did you have a search warrant
when you entered
the Biggs' home?
What are you, a lawyer?
No, I'm better than that, son.
I'm the media.
Mr. Kirby, Lance would
like to see you.
Jean, I'm real sorry
about what happened.
He'd like to see you alone.
Care to make a statement?
No.
Might help clear the air.
I'm gonna get his side.
[sighing]
It was an accident.
You work for Lucas Buck,
am I right?
I don't want
to talk about this.
Were you aware the victim
owed Mr. Buck money?
Who told you that?
The postman.
That's news to me.
Then why'd you shoot him?
Look, I told you.
It was an accident.
What, did you
break his door down
by accident, too?
Goodbye.
You know, you can't
shoot a man in his own home...
and not expect
to account for it.
Look, if you want to make
something out of this,
you go ahead.
What, the guy
owed Lucas money?
Fine. So I shot him.
If you don't leave me alone,
I might shoot you, too.
That's all I wanted to hear.
[birds chirping]
(Caleb)
Be careful
with your handwriting.
I want Merly to be able
to read it.
Are you sure this
is gonna work?
It's an old custom.
Burning people at the stake
was an old custom, too.
This ain't like that.
Is this what you want?
Could you find your way home
with that thing?
Sure.
Then Merlyn can, too.
I'm finished with
the invitation. Listen.
"To Merlyn Temple.
You are invited
to your going away party...
"at Miss Holt's boarding house
tonight at 8:00
as the honored guest."
Make it "guest of honor".
Why?
'Cause it sounds better.
Boone, just do the map, okay?
Where's the other stuff?
Corn flakes...
and peanuts in the shell.
This ain't the right kind.
That's all they had.
They're supposed
to be frosted.
You gotta go back
to the store.
Why?
'Cause Miss Holt says
it's gotta be stuff she liked.
Stuff she cared about.
Otherwise, we could
end up with Aunt Ruth.
Who?
Never mind.
You get the flakes,
and I'll set up
the barbecue...
and we'll meet
back here at 8:00.
(Lucas)
Wake up, Trinity.
I always wanted to do that.
Gloria, I presume?
Sheriff Buck.
Pleasure to meet you, ma'am.
I listen to your show
all the time.
Matter of fact,
I caught it this morning.
I'm sorry about what happened.
So am I.
Where's your partner?
I think he's still
at the hospital.
Nope. Already been there.
Then he's probably at home.
You sure?
He don't strike me
as the domestic type.
You know,
he's got my deputy
in a real panic.
He's afraid your husband
may be trying...
to put a dark spin
on this morning's events.
Mel doesn't mean any harm.
He's just going through
a difficult time, that's all.
One of them
mid-life crises, eh?
You know,
he came by to see me
last night. Yeah.
He seems to think
you two could be
the next Regis and Kathie Lee.
[scoffs]
That's his dream, not mine.
If he had to choose
between you
and the bright lights...
I wonder what road he'd take?
What are you implying?
I'm just trying
to put his character
in perspective, ma'am.
Ambition can be
a mighty dangerous thing.
Just tears at the fabric
of a relationship.
Look, I love my husband
very much, and he loves me.
And if that's not
enough for you...
It's enough for me.
I just wonder
if it's enough for him.
Why don't you ask Mel
to come by my office
again tonight...
and maybe we can work
this thing out?
Sheriff?
Did he say something
specific to you
about our marriage?
Something I should know?
No, ma'am.
Not a thing.
[sighing]
[people chattering]
Evening, Deputy.
Now it's confirmed.
I am in hell.
How are you shooting?
Just great.
I'm hitting everything today.
So I've heard.
What, did Lucas send you
down here to dole out
some more punishment?
If that's what you need.
I need a vacation.
All right. Where you wanna go?
You buying the tickets?
Sure.
All right...
Paris.
Let's go to Paris.
Sounds good to me.
I'll play you
for the window seat.
(Ben)
Well, you are fun, Selena.
I'll give you that.
[beeping]
So what are we gonna do
to clear your name?
I don't know.
Maybe we ought to just
dismember that radio guy.
That ought to liven up
the damn weekend.
And in spite
of what you think...
Lucas didn't send me
down here, either.
Really?
Really.
Just came because
you cared, huh?
Just trolling.
You know, Selena,
the last time
we played pool together...
I got in an awful
lot of trouble.
But you had fun,
didn't you?
Yeah.
Fun in spades.
Well, you're not going to get
in any trouble tonight, Ben.
But you may
still have some fun.
(Ben)
What, the guy
owed Lucas money?
Fine. So I shot him.
If you don't leave me alone,
I might shoot you, too.
You know, if you drop
a gunshot behind that, it has
a pretty powerful effect.
What are you planning
on doing with this?
Well, I thought I might
open my show
with it every morning...
or you could reconsider
my request.
I already have.
I talked to those people
at the TV station...
and they're willing
to work with you.
Well, good.
Of course, there's one
small caveat.
And what's that?
They want you solo.
All that business about
not being telegenic,
that was true...
but apparently,
they were referring
to your wife.
You're going to
have to lose her.
I can't do that. We're a team.
I'm afraid
that's the only way
it's gonna work.
No.
Mel, think for a second.
All these years, you've been
waiting for your big break
to come, and it hasn't. Why?
You obviously
have the talent...
but something's been
holding you back.
It's her, Mel.
She's your anchor, all right.
Gloria will never let me
do this alone.
Of course not.
Without you, she's nothing.
I'd have to divorce her.
Now I'm afraid that's
not gonna work either.
She'd spend the rest
of her days hunting you down
for your money.
Making your life
a living hell.
No. The way I see it,
you only got one option.
You said you wanted
to be like me.
Here's your chance.
Is Miss Holt coming?
I told her not to.
She didn't know Merly,
so I figured a stranger
might confuse her.
Here, give me the bag.
[crickets chirping]
Here goes...
map...
invitation...
Frosted Flakes...
and peanuts in the shell.
That's it?
That's it.
What about her locket?
What about it?
Ain't you gonna
put that in, too?
I thought Miss Holt said
put in everything
she cared about.
I know, but I don't
wanna burn this.
My mama's picture's in here
and it's the only one I got.
Whatever.
What do we do now?
Wait, I guess.
Ain't there a magic word
or something?
Boone, this ain't magic.
Let me know
if anything happens.
Where are you going?
Home.
What do you mean?
You can't leave now.
I been too long already.
But you haven't
seen Merlyn yet.
I know.
You don't believe
this'll work, do you?
I'm sorry, Caleb.
That's why she hasn't
come yet. It's 'cause
you don't believe.
It's 'cause you don't believe!
[female voice echoing]
Merly?
[echoing continues]
(Merlyn)
Help me.
Help me.
Merlyn, is that you?
Caleb, help me.
Caleb, help me.
Let go of me, Merlyn!
Merlyn, what are you doing?
Merlyn!
Help me, Caleb.
Let go of me.
Caleb, help!
Miss Holt!
Miss Holt!
Miss Holt!
What's the matter?
I did what you said
and it worked. I saw her.
Who?
Merlyn.
And she's trapped
somewhere bad.
There's fire everywhere.
Fire?
Not now...
but you were right.
Caleb...
now I think
we have messed around
with this enough.
What do you mean?
She needs me.
No, honey,
what she needs
is to be left alone.
Caleb, I believe...
that you loved
your sister very much...
but she's gone now...
and you have to accept that.
She's gone.
[door slamming]
[sighing]
##[music playing]
We're on the air
in five seconds, Gloria.
Go without him?
I don't think
we have a choice.
[rooster crowing]
WIX 910, Trinity. It's 8:00...
and you're listening
to Mel and Gloria
in the Morning.
Well, make that Gloria,
anyway.
I'm afraid my husband
has come down
with a bad case of the flu...
and won't be able
to join us...
but hopefully
he'll have a speedy recovery.
Today's topic is infidelity.
Do you know
where your husband is?
Give me a call at 555-0101
and let's talk.
And now for Brian
with traffic.
(Brian)
Thank you, Gloria.
This portion of Traffic Watch
is brought to you by...
I waited up all night for you.
I'm sorry.
I called the Sheriff,
he said you left his office
just before 8:00.
I know. I'm sorry.
Where the hell have you been?
I had to think
about some things.
All night?
I fell asleep in the car.
Come on, Mel.
It's true.
All right, fine.
Come to any conclusions?
No.
Well, when you do,
you let me know...
because, you know,
it's only my life
we're talking about here.
You know I love you.
Well, you don't show it.
I mean, you talk great
on the radio, but whenever
you talk about me...
it's just to say
how frustrated you are.
Not with you,
with our careers!
What's the difference?
I'm part of your life
that's not working, right?
You want more than this.
Mel...
another woman is not
gonna give it to you.
There is no other woman.
(Brian)
That's all we got for you
from this end.
So, Gloria, it's back to you.
Then what's wrong, Mel?
I don't know.
We've got dead air, folks.
Thank you, Brian.
I got good news.
My husband, Mel,
has just called in
and he's feeling much better.
As a matter of fact, he wants
to take me out tonight...
on a date.
He wants to take me
for a boat ride
on Jackson Lake.
7:30.
I'll be waiting on the dock.
Ben? How you feeling
this morning?
Okay.
I guess you are.
Oh, no.
Why are you so jumpy, Ben?
Miss Coombs is here
to help you.
Help me what?
In case you've forgotten,
there's a little matter
to clear up...
regarding your actions
yesterday morning.
Mel Kirby has you on tape,
blabbing all about
shooting people.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
(Selena)
I felt so bad
about beating you...
in pool last night...
I figured it was
the least I could do.
What's going on here?
All kinds of fun.
Matter of fact,
things are just getting good.
Will you two excuse me?
You watch her, Ben.
She's a tiger.
[phone ringing]
Buck.
(Mel)
It's me.
Who's me?
Mel.
Mel, shouldn't you
be on the air now?
Lucas, I can't go through
with this.
Okay.
She's my wife.
Yes, she is.
We're going to have
to find another way.
Ain't no other way, Mel.
She wants me to take her
on a date tonight.
A boat ride.
Sounds perfect.
Make sure you find
some deep water.
Lucas!
She's dragging you down, Mel.
I can hear it in your voice.
You're not listening to me!
And what better way
to make your
television debut...
than to reflect on the passing
of your dear, departed wife.
There's always other fish
in the sea, Mel.
Lucas!
Selena, honey? Duty calls.
"We have undertaken upon
a second funeral service...
"through which we shall
set Jonathan free.
"The service will conclude
with a sprinkling of brimstone
about the..."
(Holt)
Caleb?
Caleb?
Caleb?
You're going to be
late for school.
Sorry. I'm on my way.
Hey. You feel better today?
Yeah. Lots better.
Good.
I hope so.
Hey, Dr. Matt...
if you were reading
in a history book and you
seen the word brimstone...
what would you think it meant?
It's sulfur. Why?
Sulfur like we got
in the garden shed?
Yeah.
It's also what the old fire
and brimstone preachers
said hell smelled like.
Which means hell smells
like rotten eggs.
Right.
Appreciate it.
All right. This for a report
or something?
Yeah. A very special report.
Good luck.
Thanks. Bye.
[birds chirping]
[dog barking]
(Lucas)
Nice catch.
What are you doing here?
Looking after my own.
Now, what would you
possibly want with this?
Give it back.
Raising the dead
is serious business, Caleb.
You willing to pay the price?
My sister needs me.
Your sister might just
eat you alive.
It's time to give up
the ghost, son.
I hate you!
And someday we'll make
that hate work for you.
Now, get on to school.
See there.
Father knows best.
[birds chirping]
Mr. Kirby?
I'm such a fan of yours.
Would you mind?
No, not at all.
You don't know
what this means to me.
Well, what's your name?
Selena.
Selena?
I've listened to you
ever since I was
a little girl.
You're dating me.
Not yet.
[chuckling]
Shoot, you're just
coming into your prime.
Thanks.
I just want you to know
that if you ever
need anything...
anything at all...
I'm available.
A man like you
deserves nothing but the best.
Bye.
[engine starting]
Far enough?
All right.
[crickets chirping]
Well, here we are.
Yep. Here we are.
[oars creaking]
Do you remember
the first time we did this?
My birthday, 1981?
My birthday, '83.
Right decade, anyway.
Mel...
are we past it?
[sighs]
Have you given up on us?
I don't know.
Do you feel like
I'm holding you back?
Gloria...
it just doesn't seem
to be working anymore.
Because of me?
Is it because of me?
[screams]
Hang on!
Hang on!
Mel, help me.
Just hang on.
I can't. My foot's
caught on something.
You're caught?
I'm drowning!
Help!
You're caught.
Mel!
I'm sorry, baby.
I'm sorry, Gloria.
Mel!
I'm sorry.
Mel!
(Mel)
There was nothing I could do.
She must have
hit her head on something.
I kept diving back in...
but she was gone.
How did she fall in
in the first place?
She got up too quickly.
The boat rocked.
[crying]
God.
How do you feel
about this, Mr. Kirby?
I think Mr. Kirby's
been through enough already.
Ben.
Lucas, I don't
believe his story.
(Lucas)
The man has just experienced
a terrible tragedy.
Are you gonna let
your personal feelings
towards him...
cloud your judgment?
You think he's
telling the truth?
Of course I do.
And frankly,
I'm a little surprised
at your insensitivity.
Mr. Kirby...
[Mel sniffling]
a number of television people
have called.
Obviously you're
in no condition
to make a statement...
but perhaps tomorrow?
Yeah, I think that'd be best.
Good.
I'll have them stop
by your station
in the morning.
Now is there anything
you'd like to say to me?
Thanks.
Think nothing of it.
Your future's
all that matters now.
[bird calling]
[crickets chirping]
(Selena)
Mel?
Oh, God!
I heard about what happened.
You scared the hell out of me.
What was your name?
Selena.
Yeah.
Do you want to talk about it?
How'd you hear about it?
Radio.
Of course.
What'd they say?
There was an accident.
That you struggled valiantly
to save your wife...
but that it was too late.
I'm so sorry.
You gotta love the spin.
Pardon me?
You want to know the irony
in all this?
I'm a lousy swimmer.
I almost drowned
out there tonight.
Almost drowned
pretending to save her.
What?
Yeah, it was an accident,
all right, but it was
an accident I let happen.
You wanted her to die?
Yeah, I guess I did.
(Gloria)
Wake up! Wake up!
What the hell?
Selena?
What the hell's going on?
(Gloria)
Selena's gone, Mel.
What?
It's just the two of us now.
Mel and Gloria.
What?
This isn't real.
You're right, Mel.
It isn't real.
It's television.
Lucas.
Now, while
the camera's rolling...
I'd like to play
a little tape for you
just to get your reaction.
Lucas, I know
you're doing this.
It was an accident, all right,
but it was
an accident I let happen.
Oh, no.
You wanted her to die?
Yeah, I guess I did.
(Gloria)
Now, Mel, perhaps you'd like
to tell the folks at home...
why you'd want to kill
the only person in the world
who ever loved you?
[groans]
Lucas!
[door opening]
(Lucas)
Hell of a show.
[grunting]
How did you do that?
How did you get her voice?
I got it from her.
Gloria?
Lucas told me
what you were planning.
Of course I didn't believe it,
but then he insisted
I test the waters.
Unlike you, I happen to be
a very good swimmer.
Gloria, you don't understand.
He set me up.
This was all his idea,
not mine.
He didn't watch me die.
Now all of America
is going to watch you.
Gloria, come on.
You've got to believe me.
I did believe you, Mel.
For 17 years, I believed
in nothing but you.
I don't know
which one of us
is more pathetic.
You'll forgive me
if I don't say thanks.
[sighs]
Why?
Did you really think, Mel,
even for one second
that you could threaten me?
I came to you for help.
"'Step into my parlor,'
said the spider to the fly."
[birds chirping]
Mama...
I don't know if you
can hear me or not...
but I did everything I could
to help Merly,
and nothing's worked...
so, if you could do anything,
anything at all...
I know she'd appreciate it.
I'm not giving up, Mama.
I'm just letting go.
Merly?
[wind howling]
Thy will be done, Caleb.
[deep voice]
Thy will be done.