You've heard of the tunnel.
The one we all go through,
sooner or later.
At this end there's a door.
And waiting for you on the
other side of that door
...is either heaven
This is that door.
Grace anderson sanitarium
psychiatric care facility
why is this patient in lock down?
They didn't tell you about laurie strode?
- You must've heard of her.
Sister of michael myers?
Michael myers, the serial killer?
You'll learn all the gossip soon enough.
For now let's just get...
no, wait. Tell me about her.
She decapitated a man.
Oh, my god.
3 years ago
20 years after the first murders
her brother finally found her.
He tracked her down to the school
where she was working.
There were several murders.
Lots of confusion.
Guys, over here!
Oh, my god.
She killed the wrong person.
Father of 3.
Why didn't the paramedic say something?
His larynx had been crushed.
Don't let on you know.
Hello, miss strode.
Did you enjoy your dinner?
She hasn't said a word in years.
Extreme dissociative disorder.
The doctors think she's a suicide threat.
They found her up the
roof more than once.
It must be the guilt.
Now all she does is
stare out that window.
God knows what she sees out there.
Anyone out there?
Harold, are you trying to
give me a heart attack?
How the hell did you get out again?
And who are you supposed to be today?
John wayne gacy.
Born in chicago, illinois on march 17, 1942.
Killed 33 people, buried them under his house.
I know, i know.
Willie i'm not trying to criticize your work
...but if you put harold in his room
...how come i see him in the basement?
But just 2 seconds ago, he was
come on, let's go get him.
...what are you doing?
- I skipped dinner.
- Hurry up.
Harold, what are you doing down here?
What's gotten into you?
Born november 24, 19...
I knew you'd come for me sooner or later.
What took you so long?
You failed, michael.
You want to know why?
Because i'm not afraid of you.
But what about you?
Are you afraid of me?
Are you afraid to die, michael?
I just have to be sure.
I'll see you in hell.
Born october 19, 1957.
Killed his older sister october 31, 1963.
Killed 3 high school students, october 31, 1978.
Also killed 3 nurses and a paramedic same night.
Was believed to be dead, then killed 4 students.
Hillcrest academy, 1998.
Has been missing, unheard of last 3 years.
Now he's back.
carl jung tells us that the human psyche contains
...a figment of ourselves that even
the collective unconscious denies.
Good morning, paul. It's nice to see
you in class. Am i keeping you up?
All right. What do i mean by all this, people?
I mean that inside all of us
there lurks a dark, malevolent figure.
A kind of 'bogeyman', if you will
...that jung called what?
Come on, stick with me, people.
Take that kierkegaardian leap of faith.
Jung said we much face down our fears
...and face up to the figure he called what?
- The shadow.
- The shadow. Yes, sara, very good.
Thank you. I'm glad somebody
was awake. Wow, what a class.
Sara, wait up!
I've been looking for you everywhere!
What did you sign us up for this time?
We gotta find rudy, okay? Come on.
Don't distract me.
Oh, i can't help myself.
I am distracting.
Have you checked your email?
- Why, did you send me something?
- We're in!
- They picked all three of us.
- What? Are you serious?
Oh. My god.
All right, this is all good.
This isn't one of your little jokes, is it?
...sara doesn't want to go.
- I might go, i haven't decided yet.
No, no, no. That is unacceptable.
It is unacceptable.
We're gonna be bigger than the osbournes.
We're going to be large.
Every time i let you two talk me into
something, i live to regret it.
Listen. Without me, you would die of boredom.
Without us you would die of boredom.
Are you sure they're not putting us in
a house with hidden cameras in the shower?
It's like we're investigative reporters
searching a crime scene.
And look at the scholarship.
besides that, thousands of people
are going to see my face.
Don't do it.
That's the house where it all started.
He walked its hallways, hid in its closets
...dreamed in its bedrooms,
helped his mother in the kitchen
...watched tv in the living room with his dad
...played in his sister's bedroom.
Then one day
...he picked up a knife
...and he never put it down again.
That guys is f**king weird.
Don't pay attention to him.
He's just trying to scare us.
I just need to send a quick email.
''Deckard, you'll never believe
what i got myself into.''
- ''Deckard''? Who's deckard?
- That's my screen name.
Sara needed some tech support
setting up her offline reader, so i
you told her you're a graduate student?
- Graduate of what, junior high?
- Shut up, all right?
We talk like everyday. I don't know, it's
...it's kind of like we're dating.
She's never even seen you, and
yahoo chat room do not count.
Yes, they do count.
Did you know in the old days
...knights spent their lives courting ladies
they would never touch?
They would just like, you know,
send each other sonnets and stuff.
Yeah, that's before internet porn, man.
- Now what are you doing?
- Just give me a second, all right?
Here she is.
- Okay, everybody, listen up.
Are you gonna wear this? I thought i told you
we were gonna be on camera.
Okay, i'd like to start this off by
saying the search is over.
You six have been selected to
explore american's worst nightmare.
Tomorrow night, halloween
...live in front of the whole entire internet universe
...you six will enter the birthplace
of evil in its purest form.
The childhood home of our
most brutal mass murderer
So what do you hope to find in the
house tomorrow night?
My way into network broadcasting.
I just want to say that michael myers
is not just a man behind a mask
...he's a legend.
I'm interested in how michael myers
...embodies the politics of violence
embedded in pop mythology.
Never underestimate the effect of a poor diet.
Too much protein, not enough zinc.
Next thing you know, you're cutting up
bodies in the bathtub. Look at hitler.
He was a vegetarian.
The brother was seriously malnourished.
You don't have to go far to find michael myers.
He's the great white shark of our unconscious.
He is the dark-eyed child of our spirits.
He's every murderous impulse we've ever had.
He's the little voice that whispers to us
...to strangle the old lady taking
too long at the check out counter.
Get to know him, baby.
So tell us, sara, why do
ordinary people turn to murder?
...i think it has something to do with upbringing...
damn! That girl can sing.
That's what i'm looking for.
Get his a**!
Who's better than wa chung lee?
Come on, whupping everybody's a**
while he's smoking a cigarette.
Oh, s**t. Who's knocking on my door this late?
Whoever this is is distracting me from
seeing wa chung lee whup some a**.
Sara, what are you doing here? It's late.
I'm dropping out.
- I'm sorry. It's just, i'm
...so freaked out i can't sleep.
- Slow down, slow down.
- What's the problem?
- I mean, can't you see? I'm
...i'm not like the others.
- I know you're not like the others.
You know you're not like the others.
The others ain't nothing but smart a**,
wisecracking, posing wannabes.
You are the real deal.
Every existing element about you is
what the internet audience really wants.
I don't want to be famous.
What do you mean,
you don't want to be famous?
That's the american dream.
- I think i'm just scared.
- It's okay to be scared, you know.
Being scared is good. Fear is good.
Fear gives you the feeling of being alive.
- Fear makes me want to throw up.
- Trust me, please.
When it's all said and done, at the end of the day
...you'll be surprised how much
you surprised yourself.
Look, i'm sorry to bother you, i just
it's okay. Now do me a favor and sleep on it.
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
Don't sweat it tonight, man.
Take your tail on out of here, go to bed.
Oh, freddie boy, damn, you good.
The s**t you come up with off
of the top of your head, boy.
Why don't you just pat yourself on the back?
Oh, wa chung lee!
Are you coming out soon or
are you planning on subletting?
- Don't you think it's too revealing?
- I think it's perfectly revealing.
Are you okay?
Did you see the bogeyman or something?
The ''bogeyman''? How very jungian.
Dr. Mixter's class? I'm taking that course, too.
There she is.
Oh, my god, you've been p*s*y-whipped.
What's worse, you've been cyber-whipped.
By the way, where's your costume?
I can't go out tonight.
I promised sara i'd watch her first episode.
She's really nervous about it.
No, mickey stern's party is tonight,
and you know that.
- I'm sorry. I guess i forgot it.
Do you have any idea what it means
for two freshmen to get invited?
It's never happened before.
Your sister invited us so you wouldn't
tell your mother about her tattoo.
Okay, that's besides the point, myles barton.
You can either sit here, in your
little dream fantasy world
...or you can come with me to this party
...and learn to walk like a man.
What's it going to be?
All right, let's go.
- I hope you''ll be watching tonight.
- Chat room romance?
He's just a friend.
He's probably 50 and bald with a bad toupee.
- He probably collects human skin.
- Give me a break, jen.
- Okay, everybody, listen up.
I'd like to start off by saying the home
you'll be entering tonight
...has been rigged up with several cameras,
but for the most part
...the audience will see only what you see.
See these cameras right here?
I kind of like these cameras.
They can pretty much be clipped onto anything.
A hat, your shirt collar, your coat collar.
The viewers will pretty much control
what they want to watch
...switch around from camera to camera
...depending on what seems to be
the most intriguing to them.
So if you guys want to be stars for the night
...i suggest you do something
that is very interesting
...so that it's worth the while of the
viewers to keep their cameras on you.
Cameras are so phallic.
- Is that good or bad?
- Depends who's watching.
Hey, orson welles, pick a placemat and move on.
Low angles, scary.
High angles, scary.
Medium angles, boring.
I bet you learned that shooting
all those weddings and bar mitzvahs.
I went to long beach state. Same as spielberg.
Charley, we're on a schedule here, okay?
Just tell max to rig a camera
in the sister's room, all right?
Max is back at the hotel helping freddie.
Baby, calm down. It's all good, just relax.
I got it all under control.
No, there was a firebird parked
right in front of the house
...like just totally about to ruin
the establishing shot
...but i called a tow truck.
Yup, it's on its way.
All right. Bye.
Look at you, charley.
That's a nice angle, boy.
- Look, there he is now.
- All right, here we go.
- I got a word for you, freddie.
- What's that?
I like the sound of that.
While we're going around the house
...discovering the secrets of
michael myers, we could be
...drinking pepsi or sporting the gap.
How's everybody doing this evening?
We're gonna get it started like this.
See, in the next 10 minutes,
we're going to enter a mystery
...wrapped up inside of a
riddle inside of an enigma.
Now remember this.
Everything you see, absolutely
everything you see, is real.
No actors, none of the components
or constants in the house
...have been messed with, mixed up,
diluted or tempered with
...in any shape, form or fashion whatsoever.
We're not exactly sure what is going
to happen, but what i do know
...is that no one will be allowed to
leave until the show is over.
Our top of the line, state of the art
camera surveiliance system
...will be picking up anyone
who tries to sneak out.
Let the dangertainment begin
well, people, let's do it.
Way to go.
This is going to be fun.
It looks like nothing has been
touched for years.
I read that after the murders
...the family sealed it up and left
without taking anything with them.
Well, it's not exactly a house you
put on the market. You know?
But i'll bet it has one of those
big nice old kitchens, you know?
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to go check it out.
- What are we going to do?
- We don't have to do anything.
Technically, we just have to be in the house.
- Aren't we supposed to look for answers?
- All right.
The devil made him do it. I'm done.
We owe it to the people watching
to at least take a look around.
That's cute. You're already worried
about your fan base?
You are like, this close to getting
voted off the island.
Hey, check this out.
You want something tasty and delicious?
Have you ever tasted 40 year old fennel?
Don't. It's got to be rotten.
- That's strange.
- It smells fresh.
- Yeah, it does.
You know, donna, you got great legs.
What time do they open?
Would that be 1 o'clock?
...do you think this is the one that
he used to, you know, do this thing?
No. They'd keep that in an
evidence locker somewhere.
- What, are you scared?
What's in here?
What is that?
Okay, so i admit that this place
is a little creepy, okay?
No, no. You have no idea.
- Look at this.
- Wow, a chair.
My god, do you think they
actually kept him in this?
What is that?
Looks like the medieval key
to sara's chestity belt.
...maybe we should poke around a bit
...see what else we can find.
Aye, aye, captain.
Why are you touching me?
Hey, what's going on?
- Scott, what are we doing here?
- Come on, man. Be cool, all right?
Relax, have fun.
You think anyone will know we're
supposed to be from pulp friction?
Hands off, bud.
I bet this is judith's room.
You know, the older sister.
The one killed when he was 6 years old.
Keep the camera on the money here.
You know, i think it happened
when she was right there.
Poor little judith.
...brushing her hair.
- That's going to happen, right?
- Come on, jen.
One flash and you could light up
a thousand computer screens.
Launch your whole career.
You crack me up.
It's good wardrobe for you, jen.
Wait. There was somebody
else in the hall.
Come here, lover-boy.
What are you doing, you big perv?
They're exploring the house
of a mass murderer, live.
- You want to watch?
- No way.
Impulse control disorder.
That's my theory.
I think michael myers had fits
of rage that he could not control.
Kind of like a klepto or a nympho or a pyro.
So instead of stealing silverware
...he slashes the necks of teenage girls?
Haven't you ever had an impulse
that you just could not control?
- You mean ''continually''.
''Continuous'' means continuing uninterrupted
...while ''continual'' means recurring periodically.
...when are you gonna get out of your head
and start thinking with your body?
Does that line ever actually work on the
chicks in the music department?
Art history, too?
Sometimes even poli sci.
Well, it doesn't cut it with critical studies.
Besides, screwing a music major would
be tantamount to lesbianism.
I could get into that.
Sara, i'm telling you, it's in the food.
Remember that guy who was on trial
for murder in san francisco?
All he ate was twinkies.
Rudy, do you ever think about
anything other than food?
Wouldn't you like to know?
- What's going on?
- What happened?
I don't know. I turned my back for a
second and she was gone.
Turn it down!
God, you b*tch.
You know what? That's not right, okay?
Yeah, and this is to us.
For successfully - let me give you a little more -
...putting together something
collectively so ingenious
...as a team and a duo
...that we should be able to secure food
on the table for ourselves
...as long as everything goes as nicely
as it's going right now.
I'm gonna get her back for that.
What just happened?
We just lost bill's camera.
He must have just dropped it. f**king idiot.
- Find another view quickly, please.
- Freddie, relax.
I think this is going really well.
- Really baby?
- Yes! We are doing our thing.
And this must be the bed
where he was conceived.
Stop showing off, jen.
- Help me!
- Sara, are you okay?
What is that thing?
Is this that michael myers thing?
All right, cool.
What is this?
You're such a lothario.
- I don't know what that means,
but just go with it.
Hold on. I just thought of something.
You've got to be kidding me.
What, are you looking for playboys?
This ain't right.
Well, it's obvious that the boy was subject to
...emotional and physical abuse.
No, i mean all of this. It's not right.
It's too easy.
Why is all this stuff still here?
Answer that, nancy drew.
He's probably still mad at me.
He's gonna jump out somewhere
and try and scare me.
...if i'm keeping you from something,
just let me know.
See, they're looking for clues.
You know, something that might explain
why michael myers went bad.
- Hey, scott, what's up?
- Nice costume.
...so you think they kept him down here?
Look at this.
What is it?
Some sort of weird harness.
This whole place looks like
some sort of sadistic playpen.
And you know what that makes me think?
There's definitely no cameras down here.
I could be a camera.
Say something smart.
Existence perceives essence.
God, you are sexy.
- That worked perfect!
- Whoa, that's what i'm talking about.
Oh, my god! Oh, my god! All his victims!
It's a mass grave!
All of his victims.
s**t. Look at this.
- I don't f**king believe this.
Made in f**king taiwan.
Oh, s**t, man!
Charley, where the f**k you been at, man?
Why the hell are you dressed like me anyway?
I didn't tell you to be michael myers.
I'm playing michael myers.
If them kids come around and see us
dressed up in the same s**t
...you're gonna ruin the whole effect!
Goddamn it, what the hell is wrong with you?
I said, what are you looking at me like that for?
You don't get it? You don't get it?
Your s**t ain't working up there or something?
You need to take your a** in the
garage with nora. That's yourjob.
Go back there with nora and help her a** out.
Go do yourjob.
I left the back door unlocked for
your a** to go out the back
...into the garage. That's what i did.
You need to get the hell out of here.
Get out! Scoot! Skedaddie!
Get the f**k out of dodge!
Goddamn it, come on.
Let's go find freddie.
You gotta see this.
...is this all part of the set up?
''Laurie strode, sister of michael myers,
survives halloween massacre.''
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!
Is anybody else seeing this?
This isn't funny anymore!
Somebody help! This is not funny!
Stay away from me!
- That was so fake.
- No, wait, you guys, that
...that really just happened. She was just killed.
Man, you're so gullible.
It's a good thing there's no cameras in here.
We're wearing cameras
I saw him! He's in the house! He's here!
Girl, what's going on?
What you talking about here?
Walk through this door and you won't have
any doubt it's a beautiful evening.
There's nobody here.
You're just bugging out again.
- It's not funny. He's in that room.
- Stop it. That is 1, 2, 3, 4
5, 6 people in the house.
There's no michael myers here, there's nobody.
- Listen, i saw him right over there.
- In here?
Michael myers? Where's michael myers?
- I don't see nothing.
- He's was in here.
- You're bringing me down.
- I saw him.
- Whoa! Turn off the camera.
- Get it back online!
- What's wrong?
Cut to a different camera angle.
It's me. It's me, freddie.
Freddie? What the f**k are you doing?
You hit me like i murdered your
f**king mother or something.
Relax, man. I'm only trying to give
america a good show.
Okay, so none of this s**t is real, right?
Like the furniture, the photos,
all the fucked up toys?
It's fake. We've been set up.
You didn't have a show anyone would watch
...so you set us all up
at our f**king expense, huh?
What expense are you talking about?
You ain't contributed a dime
to setting up none of this s**t.
Don't nobody want to see any of you
all running around no empty house
...possibly coming up with nothing any damn way.
America don't like reality, first of all.
Second of all, they think this s**t is boring.
You know what i mean?
They want the razzle dazzle.
A little pizzazz, a thrill in their life.
Us being the ones that give it to them,
i see nothing wrong with that.
I so did not sign up for this.
You all need to do me a favor, all right?
Just go along with this s**t. Don't blow it, not now.
You really have no idea of
how nicely i worked things out
...so that we can receive somewhat of
a robust back end when this is over.
I don't know what you want to do about your share
...but please don't f**k it up for me.
I want my money, all right?
...i'm going to get it cracking.
You all do what the f**k you all gotta do.
See you all!
- Turn up the sound.
- Where did everybody go?
There you are, bill.
- So what do you guys want to do?
- I don't know. I could use the money.
No. f**k that.
- I'm out.
- Me, too. I quit.
She must be going for the first internet emmy.
You can't scare us, jen!
You're going to have to do better than that.
You too, freddie.
- How'd they do that?
- It's all digital effects.
No, it isn't.
Go! Go in there, go!
Yeah, i'm talking to you.
You want a piece of me?
You should try a little less protein
in your diet, you know?
Control some of that agression.
You want some of this?
I know what 911 is for, all right?
This is an emergency, not a hoax.
Somebody, please help us.
She really is a very talented actress.
Deckard, if you're there, please let me know.
Who's deckard? Myles is deckard!
...he's killing all of us.
- He's killing us.
- There he is. Oh, my god! Zoom in!
- Tell her he's coming up the stairs.
- This isn't funny anymore, guys.
He's coming up the stairs.
Hallway. Don't scream!
He heard her!
He's outside the door!
Try the window
oh, my god!
No! Don't go in the house!
I can't see you!
Can''t see you!
...where is he?
He's in his old bedroom.
- Tell her to go!
- Now is her chance.
- Come on, go!
- Go now!
My god, everybody's dead!
Where is he?
I don't know.
We got to get the f**k out of here now!
Come on, let's go.
So you want to be on dangertainment?
Let's see what you got.
Yo, mike! Come see me! Michael,
come and see me!
Look at me!
Want to f**k with me?
Let's get out of here. Come on.
You all right?
I saw his room.
He's been living underneath this
f**king house for who knows how long.
Probably the last 20 years.
I swear on my soul
...i had no idea.
He's still alive!
Come on, let's go.
Oh, my god! He cut the cable.
Where the f**k is he?
This is bad.
...where is he?
In the house!
This is for jim!
This is for rudy!
For all of them!
Happy f**king halloween!
We can see you on the news!
Sara? Sara moyer?
- Can we get a statement?
- Okay, we can go alive now.
- Your encounter with michael myers
thank you, deckard. You saved my life.
- What's it feel like to be a hero?
- How does it feel now that it's over?
What makes you so sure it's over?
Excuse me. No more cameras.
Dangertainment is off the air.
- Why don't you show her some respect?
- Would you like to make a statement?
What can you tell us about michael myers?
Michael myers is not a sound bite
...spin off, a tie-in, some kind of celebrity scandal.
Michael myers is a killer shark
...in baggy a** overalls
...that gets his kicks off of killing
everything and everyone he comes across.
We're done dancing for these cameras.
Let's get out of here, sara.
But how are you feeling right now?
How am i feeling now?
You want to know how i'm feeling right now?
That's him, isn't it?
I want to see his face.
I want to warn you, ma'am
...it's not a pretty sight.
Come on, back it up. Let's go.
Well, you're looking a
little crispy over there, mikey.
Like some chicken-fried.
And may he never, ever rest in peace!
Hey, how's it going?
You got to be kidding me!
It's your lucky night.
You got a celebrity.
Let me get my autograph book.
I'm not kidding.
- It's michael myers.
Get me a copy of that autograph.
She cracks me up.