WHAT HAVE
I DONE
TO
DESERVE
THIS?
Transl. & Adapt. - Mathilda Grange
Manolo overdid it, this time...
He's okay...
Where are my shoes?
Higher...
No, there...
4, Donastiarra Avenue.
Hey! I live there, too!
You like Lotte von Mossel?
I lived in Germany...
I worked as a chauffeur for a friend of hers...
A singer, too, but younger, of course...
The thing is, we had an affair.
This song brings back so many memories!
Why didn't you stay there?
I wonder...
Look...
The author was my boss...
It's Lotte von Mossel's biography.
Letters by Hitler!
Yeah... she was a bit Nazi...
I'm going to tell you a secret...
I wrote them...
What?
I copy handwriting, but I'm not a forger...
I did it for her, for Ingrid Mller...
The one who was mad about you.
Not that I like it, but she asked me...
...and women, when they want something...!
Didn't anyone find you out?
Of course not. Not even Hitler...
...may he rest in peace, would have known.
You know what are the agricultural...
...innovations introduced
in the XIX century?
You know I'm illiterate!
Ask your father.
But the old man is also illiterate...
You learn a lot driving a cab. And get out...
- How do you like it?
- Heavy, Grandma...
- How's the homework going?
- Just wack...
I'll give you a hand.
Tell me who are the Romantics...
...and who are the Realists?
Ibsen.
Romantic.
- Lord Byron.
- Realist.
- Goethe.
- Another Realist.
And Balzac.
Romantic.
- See how easy it is?
- It sure is...
I told you not to make faces!
Christ! Juani and Vanessa!
- So?
- They're jinxes.
Something always happens...
Ideas! They say the same about me.
I shouldn't have brought you...
- Hi.
- Good evening.
Come on.
- It doesn't work...
- We're one too many.
Can't you read? Vanessa, get down.
- I can walk up, ma'am...
- Let her, she's young. Come on.
Exercise's good for her!
- It's fucked!
- I knew it...
- What did you know?
- He means about me...
Can you hear me? Go get someone!
- I knew it'd happen...
- What would happen?
Go get someone I said!
So, you're a writer...
Writer, journalist, a bit of everything...
- I like to write, too...
- Well, I don't!
- What you hear in a cab...
- I suppose so.
I knew you were coming here...
What you don't miss...
- Supper ready?
- In a minute.
Every time your neighbor
Juani gets in the lift...
...she f**ks it up.
- It ain't her fault.
When I'm alone, it always works just fine...
It respects you...
- Who does?
- The lift, but not Juani.
Iron one of my shirts? I'm in a hurry...
Good evening. A big demographic growth
has forced...
certain countries to take
extreme decisions...
on birth control.
But, what is our situation?
- Want a cupcake?
- I'm not into cakes.
Well, I'll have two.
You think we can go fishing in the village?
Of course. There's a nice river...
You tell me later... they're calling me.
- Ok.
- It's for you...
Yeah... what's up?
Yeah, ok.
... birth control methods...
The chicken's a bit burnt...
f**k! Can't do nothin' right!
Don't worry... it's just the leg, I'll eat it...
You can have all the rest.
- Bring me some ham.
- Ham?
I used the last bit for Miguel's sandwich.
- Do you use any birth control?
- Yes.
All right... I'll get it for you...
It sure is cold in Madrid.
You better take me to the village or...
...I'll freeze to death.
Listen, Antonio...
Keep the bones and the
skin for my dessert...
- You got it?
- Yeah, here...
Fresh, man...
- Here.
- No, I don't dig it.
A joint is harmless. Ever tried it?
No, and I ain't going to. Anything wrong?
Old enough to sell it,
old enough to smoke it.
Okay, let's see what happens...
No, that's for me...
Nothing better for diabetes than cupcakes...
I forgot about it...
You always forget at supper time!
I'll diet a little tomorrow.
Your feet are just like your father's...
The same small, strong, powerful...
I can hardly breathe...
- Gloria, Bring me a beer!
- There ain't any!
- Well, some wine!
- There's only brandy left.
You want me to drink brandy for supper?
Let me have a bottle of mineral water...
And what else?
I work my a** off all day long...
...I have to eat half-burnt chicken...
...and there ain't no f**king wine!
Don't yell, you make my sugar rise...
Gimme a bottle of mineral water...
...or you don't get to suck the bones!
To speak so to your own mother...
All right, I'll buy it from you.
Thirty.
- Dessert!
- There ain't none.
I've made the flat and TV payments...
...you gotta gimme for Miguel's dentist
and for the bus...
...the gas bill's come and I have to pay it
tomorrow or they'll cut it.
It was our first wedding anniversary...
We went out on the town to celebrate...
We came home late...
...slightly tipsy...
We made love a dozen times...
...very satisfactorily, by the way...
The next morning...
...I simply could not get up...
He, moved by his love for me...
...got up...
...to fix me a cup of coffee...
Coffee...
Darling...
Never will I forget that cup of coffee.
Me, me...
Bubbles sure make me flip!
Don't you dig them?
Hi, you're back?
Bless you.
- How's school, son?
- Wack, as usual.
The important thing is handwriting.
How's yours?
He takes after you, it's lovely.
Let's see you imitate my signature...
I copied my father's...
...and you gotta copy mine.
It's as important as your last name...
You've got to write me a letter to Paula...
Have Toni do it.
Very good, nearly like mine.
- He's gifted...
- Well, I'm off.
You'll feel cold with no shoes.
Don't forget to give me some money...
I don't even have enough for the bus...
...I had to walk home today.
Why didn't you ask my mother?
That cheapskate?
I'll die before asking her...
You're too proud...
The poor thing is out of it...
You'd be surprised...
But what do you want?
- Antonio.
- Nothing...
And I need 100 for the dentist...
Miguel needs a bridge and I...
I'm crushing the doll!
Nothing do I owe you...
Nothing do I ask from you...
I'm walking away from you...
... forget me.
I've paid with gold...
... for your brown skin.
Don't curse me, woman...
... we're even.
I don't love you...
... don't love me.
You gave me everything...
... but nothing did I ask from you.
Don't reproach me...
... for losing everything...
At your side, I also lost everything.
Well paid...
... you've been well paid.
Because I paid for your kisses.
You fell into my arms...
... for a fistful of coins.
Well paid...
... well paid...
... well paid...
... were you, woman.
Those sure were pretty songs...
Write me that letter.
What handwriting do you dig most?
The handwriting? Well... Grace Kelly's...
Start...
Dear Paula...
I hope you're fine.
We're just fine. Have you written that?
My grandson's writing, he has grown a lot...
Wait, wait...
He forges handwritings, like his father...
Today, we have chosen poor Grace Kelly's...
... sorrow and happiness...
You're not writing? What's wrong?
I don't know... My guts are killing me.
Something you've eaten!
As if you didn't eat at all hours!
What's this? What the hell is going on?
Nothing, Toni's puked all over me...
I spend my life cleaning for this!
And you, why did you vomit?
Don't know...
Why are you in the shower fully dressed?
To clean myself.
Come on, take those clothes off...
...and put your robe on.
You'll catch your death...
Don't lose your temper...
...you'll have a breakdown!
Hi, Tony.
Man, it's cold in your place!
You look awful! Been sniffing some horse?
- I smoked a joint.
- Lf I catch you...
...screwing around with horse...
s**t, man, dope's business, not fun.
Oh, sure! For business, yeah...
I just finished cleaning, and look!
You're lucky...
...alone, not having to worry about anyone!
It ain't that easy...
Why did I ever marry! What a fool I was...
You wouldn't have a whip, would you?
A whip?
No.
Tonight's client would like a whip...
If I don't take him one, he may even leave...
- He wants to beat you?
- He wouldn't dare!
Let me think...
There may be something...
Come with me...
She's got lots. See, look at this.
With this one, you could even kill him...
Let's see... it's huge!
- It won't break?
- I don't think so...
Bring it right back...
As soon as I turn this trick...
Where are you going with that whip?
I'm borrowing it for a little while.
Don't lose it, it's a nice stick...
Look what Auntie Cristal's brought you...
- What's that?
- A stick.
I couldn't find a whip... Shall I start?
Of course not! What I wanted was a...
...commonplace scene...
Some normal, elegant, sophisticated...
...sadism...
...like in French films.
- You're not a real sadist.
- Of course not!
I just wanted some information for a...
...porno novel, a best-seller type...
Obviously, I'll have to invent it.
Do that. After all, you're a writer.
Go away...
I'm getting out of the tub...
How do you get along
with your neighbors...
...the cabbie's family?
...fine...
She's a bit hysterical but
working all day long...
...as a cleaning woman and with two kids...
My brother needs a cleaning woman.
Could she go?
Probably... If you like, I'll ask her.
She could come to my place, too.
It sure needs it.
I'll give you the address.
- Want a little something?
- Yeah, bend over...
I'm getting this great idea...
...that'd make more money
than a porno novel...
- Aren't writers wicked?
- Sure, the good ones...
- Will you come back?
- I don't know.
If you don't, I'll tell your wife...
You don't know her! A shrew!
I wanted to excite you... I wouldn't do that...
Work is a pain!
Here, and do a good job...
...as usual.
No more? A ten at least...
And I'm giving you a special price...
...usually it's 25%...
- You sure like money...
- Like everyone else.
Even more than me...
Listen, it's a secret
between you and me, eh?
I don't wanna know nothing, I'm a kid.
Kid? You've been around for...
14 years, no more.
The sooner you learn, the better...
Here.
If you need something, just ask...
Better start with me than with any floozy...
You ain't my number.
Why don't you try my brother?
I wouldn't mind...
...but it'd be more difficult...
If you screw my bother, I'll give you a line...
- How big?
- 10 bucks worth.
Well, I'll try.
Hi, mom.
You know what time it is?
I was studying at RaI's...
You were in bed with his father. Like always.
So what? It's my body, ain't it?
What's for supper?
Nothing! What do you expect?
If it's your body, why don't you feed it, too?
You've eaten everything!
If you go to bed with him...
...he could at least feed you!
Wake up and earn your living!
Want a No-Doze? You won't feel hungry...
It makes me nervous...
- Look at you...
- What do you mean?
Ask Grandma for a cake...
- And there's tomato sauce...
- It's moldy!
The toast's for your father...
All right, eat it.
Where on earth were you?
Toni, we still have to finish the letter.
- Right away, Grandma...
- Your stick.
Being illiterate is a pain...
- Do you know how to write?
- Me? Sure...
...but not like Toni...
- He'll be a philosopher...
Grandma, mom says
for you to give me a cake.
- What for?
- Haven't you had supper?
No, and I'm hungry.
Come on home with me.
I haven't eaten either.
Come on.
Thanks for the stick, Grandma.
Gloria, one of my clients wants you...
...to clean house for him and his brother...
It's just that I have so little time...
Here's the address...
- You never know...
- Thanks, honey...
Can you fix him a sandwich...
...for tomorrow?
Sure, don't worry.
God bless you!
She ain't bad...
...but she sure likes men!
What shall I wear for supper?
Whatever you want...
- Something you like...
- You're fine like that.
Like this? Wearing curlers?
Want to see my wedding dress?
- You getting married?
- It's to play wedding night.
You know how?
That's for kids!
You like costumes?
No.
Boys are a bore!
You got new Lola's...
I just bought them.
- Can I borrow them?
- You can have them...
- Well?
- Man, you look great!
I'm glad you like it.
Thanks for the comics.
When Auntie Cristal leaves for the States...
...you'll miss me and so will I.
Let's fix supper.
Put that away and go to sleep, it's late.
Ok.
I ain't going to school. I itch all over...
- lf you didn't smoke...
- Smoke, my a**!
I'm allergic to house dust.
Let me do it, Gran.
I like to comb your hair...
Yeah, but I'm old enough to do it.
What do you want?
Money, what did you think?
I got robbed last night.
What the hell am I going to do?
I'll have to take those jobs
Cristal mentioned.
That Cristal mentioned?
Yeah, a client of hers.
I don't like you to share Cristal's clients.
Think I do? But I have no choice.
Wait! I'm taking the kid to school.
Fantastic!
What a downpour and I forgot my umbrella.
Vanessa, why are you crying?
I slapped her, she wanted to stay home.
Silly! School is a real nice place...
- The street's more fun.
- She drives me nuts!
If you don't go to school,
you'll end up like me...
Or being a tart, like Cristal.
She'd wh*re around before working!
You know the latest?
She wants to be an actress!
With her face!
At her age, it's either actress or missionary.
At her age, I washed, I ironed
and helped my mother.
...but she, all she does is wreck the house...
...and wets her bed every night.
Damn brat!
Bedwetting is normal.
They say I should take her
to a psychiatrist...
...as if I were a millionaire!
Yeah... they think this is America...
They also said it's 'cause
she wants attention...
...so that I know she exists...
Who the hell do they think gave
birth to her?
Cross on your own...
Bye, and be good...
Put on your hood!
- Want to come with me?
- I'm already late...
I'll lend you the umbrella.
For once you lend me something...
Do something about your hair, it's awful!
I don't have time to go to the beauty salon...
Get yourself a curling iron and a hair dye,
that's how I do Vanessa's hair.
That'd be a luxury!
With Antonio's pay,
we can't make ends meet...
I'd lend you mine, but you know how I am...
- Yes, I know...
- And it's Vanessa's...
Look at this one... it's pretty cheap...
Mine cost a lot more...
Of course, it's a lot better.
- Well, I like it...
- It's not bad.
- Where are you going?
- Third floor left.
Those drunks?
- Well, yes.
- Stay.
You'll probably regret it... here...
- Who are you?
- Gloria.
Cristal sent me...
Of course... Come in.
Everything is in a mess...
My wife and I, we're writers...
Where shall I start?
Wherever... the kitchen...
The manager gave me this for you...
Lucas.
What the f**k are you doing in the kitchen?
Can't I even sleep in peace?
- What are you doing here?
- I'm the cleaning woman.
What's all this about?
The cleaning lady, I forgot to tell you...
Since when do we rate a cleaning lady?
From today. I did it for you...
...so you can finish that wonderful comedy...
...you started ten years ago.
And how will you pay her?
Don't worry about money...
You wouldn't dare touch the account...
...for my face-lift!
You don't need one. You look great...
- How do you do it?
- Look at the difference!
- You look Chinese!
- See?
Go say you're sorry before she runs away...
I'm sorry... my name's Patricia...
A pleasure, mine's Gloria.
Lucas hadn't told me... a surprise...
- How about a cup of coffee?
- I'd love one, ma'am.
Let me do it... and don't call me ma'am...
...but Patricia.
You certainly are a fast worker!
Habit, I suppose.
I find cleaning terribly depressing...
Pedro, I found you a cleaning woman...
Didn't you want one? You got one.
- What's your cut?
- I want to see you happy.
Then shoot me.
Marisol's left me this time for good.
You no longer drink...
She can't stand me sober either.
We'll drop by tonight.
I don't want to see you!
- You know we love you...
- But I don't love you.
- Forget me.
- See you tonight.
No, no.
I'll hang up. Patricia wants to have a chat...
- What's going on?
- I'm euphoric...
- And this?
- Rejected again!
And you've hired a maid!
Maids inspire writers,
Truman Capote wrote...
...his best novel with his charwoman.
To write like him...
...you need more than a charwoman.
I also drink like him.
- Look who's here.
- Well, again...
- What's up, bro?
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Fine and you.
- Fine, lend me a coin to play the machines...
- I have a coin.
I'm hooked. It's the best thing in Madrid.
- Well, you got it?
- Sure, here it is.
A gram?
- Good smack?
- Super...
Straight from Amsterdam, incredible...
Trust me, I don't cut the stuff...
Don't worry, it's really good.
- Look! I got the jackpot!
- Man, that's luck!
I'll buy you a drink...
- I'll have a brandy...
- Me, too.
Mineral water with lots of bubbles...
A soda with lots of bubbles
and two brandies...
Let's go sit in the Alhambra...
- Ain't it pretty?
- Yes.
If you haven't seen Granada,
you haven't seen nothing.
- Have you been there?
- Never.
- Neither have I.
- Good morning.
- Hi, good morning.
I brought you a figurine.
- I already have one...
- But it's Ionely...
Not through there,
through the figurine hole...
Oh, I forgot.
I wonder why you need so much security...
Punks never sleep...
Hey, man, when can I draw my own money?
When you're 18...
Save until then...
By the way, how do you do it?
I don't have vices...
What?
Hurry.
Look.
Hi, lizard...
- Say hello to him...
- The f**ker doesn't move...
He's hibernating...
Poor thing, he must be cold!
He's used to it.
Not even a lizard can stand this weather.
Let's search.
- I feel bad leaving the lizard here...
- But, Grandma...
Look! He's following us.
- What?
- Let's take him home.
The old lady won't like it...
- What shall we name him?
- Lizard.
- There's lots of them...
- Something you like.
I like... cakes, the cemetery...
...money...
- We'll call him Money.
- Why?
- He's green, like money.
Good morning.
Gimme a hand!
I've walked up the five floors.
What?
Go get the other bags...
...I couldn't carry them all...
They better fix the lift soon...
...I feel like I'm in jail.
Toni, you also steal my effervescents.
What's that?
It's a lizard... we found it in the park...
A lizard. What do you think this is? A zoo?
You scared me...
You'll cut yourself...
Let me! You've done enough for one day...
Take that animal away from here!
- He doesn't bite, he's hibernating.
- I said I don't want animals.
- Here!
- His name's Money...
- Grandma and me found it in the park...
- It's beautiful.
You'll complain that you have rashes...
It won't be the lizard's fault!
Either you throw it out or I do!
I'm sick and tired of you.
I'd like to know...
...what you'd do if I decided to leave!
Where's my No-Doze?
Where is it?
I'll ask Saint Anthony to find it.
Look, your pills! You're blind...
I've told you not to touch them!
I didn't!
I told you St. Anthony would find them...
Where's my watch?
Where's my watch?
Has anyone seen my watch?
How should I know?
Scatterbrain, always losing things...
Look around.
I have no choice but to
ask St. Anthony to find it...
- Are you Gloria?
- Yes.
- From the village?
- Well...
- Manolo's daughter?
- Yes, yes...
Don't you remember?
The times you wetted my apron...
You don't remember?
- I...
- You were a baby...
- Is this your son?
- His name's Miguel.
- You married Antonio...
- Yes.
- Blasa's son.
- Yes.
Your mother-in-law...
Give her my regards,
I often think about her...
I will...
- Next.
- It's our turn...
- See you again.
- Tell her you saw me...
Ok, goodbye.
Come in...
Good afternoon, good afternoon...
Sit down... Make yourself at home...
Make yourself comfortable...
Madam, do sit down...
If you're squeamish,
best look the other way...
Some frightful things happen here...
Nothing impresses me anymore...
What a handsome boy...
- What is your name?
- Miguel.
Do you like children?
I've always liked them...
- You don't have any of your own?
- No.
It's sad for a couple not to have children...
I've never married...
I wanted to adopt one, but the red tape...
And it's expensive...
Slowly...
Bite!
Bite...
About this, when will I
have to pay the first...
Come to my office...
Miguel, I've been speaking to the doctor...
...he likes you a lot.
- I know that...
Well, he'd like to adopt you...
You'd have to...
You'd have to live with him here...
What do you think?
You know that at home...
- You got a video?
- Yes, Miguel.
And a hi-fi?
Yes, Miguel...
Sonny...
I want to take painting lessons...
Don't worry...
...you'll have them.
I'm free, nobody controls me...
- A strong personality...
- I like that...
- Hi.
- Hi, isn't Gloria in?
No.
- Where is she?
- Don't know, out...
It's just that... I need her now...
She's never home,
I don't know where she goes...
I can't ask you in case
I'm swamped with my knitting.
Gloria! A girl's been looking for you...
- Who?
- But it's me...
- What is it?
- I've got something...
What?
I don't give a s**t, you bore me...
She's rude... Tell me.
Well...
You're out of it.
Want to make some easy money?
- For God's sake!
- You ain't got to move!
- He's waiting...
- Don't be crazy!
I ain't gonna start at my age...
It won't take long...
All you have to do is watch...
He's an ex...
...hibitionist. It's real easy!
If he touches me, I'll leave...
...I'm not in a joking mood.
- Hi.
- My friend... a client...
- Madam...
- Hi!
Sit down. I'm about to start...
At first glance, I may look too thin...
...but don't believe it.
My arms...
...are stronger than they look...
But a man doesn't screw with his arms.
My torso may seem too skinny...
But a man doesn't screw with his torso...
My legs?
My legs aren't those of a sportsman...
But a man doesn't screw with his legs...
What does a man screw with? You?
You?
With his c**k...
With his c**k?
Exactly.
I don't have a c**k, but a horse's dong.
Every time I enter a woman's vagina...
...I destroy her!
- Jesus!
That's why I've got to go with wh*res...
...with big cu*ts, stretched by use...
Normal women won't go with me...
...they're too scared!
And my spunk!
You can't imagine what it's like...
So white...
So thick!
Such pressure! A geyser!
Great for the skin.
Come in...
Such a cozy house!
Yeah... but we can't live here...
I like it.
Look, I want to take it to the village...
...so he can run around...
...with the cats, with the neighbors...
We just can't remain in Madrid...
We just can't breathe...
You see... Gloria came this morning...
...and she forgot this.
Her watch! I knew it!
St. Anthony never fails me...
You here?
I brought Gloria's watch back...
...she had forgotten it.
Thank you.
- And I wanted to see you.
- Me?
Let's go to the bar...
- Where's Gloria?
- At Cristal's.
Women today just won't stay home!
- Do you feel it inside?
- Yes, yes...
- Tell me how it feels...
- I feel it.
I feel it, I feel it real good...
- Tell me again, love...
- Oh! I feel it...
Listen... I think I'm about to...
Are you coming?
- Tell me how...
- I'm coming, I'm coming...
Tell me about it...
I'm coming... just fine...
...so nice...
How satisfying!
I'll do the 24 hours of Le Mans...
- A glass of wine.
- One for me, too.
Well?
Overtaking number seven...
The moment I saw Hitler's letters...
...I got this wonderful idea.
What's that got to do with me?
I'm writing the memoirs of a dictator...
With a few changes, it could be Hitler.
I'll give you the content, you copy them...
When it becomes known we have Hitler's...
...memoirs, they'll go wild.
We can ask anything we want, millions...
You know forging is a crime?
You've forged letters before...
It's not the same...
Hitler had written to Lotte von Mossel...
...but the letters got lost.
- According to your Ingrid.
- Keep her out of it!
Think about the money, talk to Gloria...
I don't need to talk to anyone!
And you be careful...
...I could tell the cops about you.
Now, I'll do a Model T...
The starter...
What were you doing there?
I... borrowed a curling iron from Cristal...
You and I better have a little chat.
I don't want you hanging around Cristal.
Lower, she'll hear you.
Cristal's like a sister to me.
- She's a wh*re!
- So what?
They could mistake you for one!
You gotta be kidding! The way I look?
And I don't want you to
work anywhere, get that?
What will I pay the rent with?
And the television payments?
And the children's clothes? And the food?
You're a nitwit!
Always thinking about luxuries!
What a pity.
Luxuries! I don't even have winter shoes!
We live like gypsies!
You think I enjoy working the way I do?
There are more important
things than money.
- Really?
- Yeah... decency, for one.
If I weren't choosy, I could make a bundle...
...but I happen to be a decent man.
Does decency cut your appetite?
I forbid you to be with Cristal!
And you're not going back to that writer's!
Let them clean their own s**t!
Give me money then, and I won't go back!
Why don't you put on a little make-up?
Why don't you make up your prick?
The Lebanon crisis worries me so...
You're my Lebanon!
Supper will be ready in a sec.
I'm off. You've given me enough s**t.
Isn't it a good idea?
Worthy of you, but count me out.
I just need $2000...
...to pay for the trip and
the German translation...
- It's the last time I...
- I said no!
I told you it was impossible...
Pedro, I understand you're
upset about Marisol...
...but why take it out on your elder brother?
Why don't you have some green wine?
- It doesn't look green...
- It's the bottle...
Thanks, but I won't.
I've gone through hell to stop drinking.
Just sniff it...
What a strong smell!
Your sense of smell's gone
with the treatment...
Well, I'll just try a little...
But keep an eye on me...
It tastes like sherry to me...
Shame! You've even lost your taste buds.
Won't it hurt me with all
those pills I'm taking?
May all evil fall on Patricia.
Ain't he funny?
Well, I'll go touch up my face...
Don't drink it all,
I'm a bit of an alcoholic, too.
Did you get anything?
He couldn't even hold the pen!
Here I am... Are you going
to leave him like this?
I'm not in a baby-sitting mood.
- Marisol, you're back...
- Yes, yes, my love...
Let's put the baby to bed...
He'll never forgive me for being a genius...
Lucas, you're a pig and so am I.
But what... are we going to do about this?
You respect nothing.
Don't complain.
I was a kleptomaniac when we met...
Invent an excuse and return them...
What could we get for them?
A Rolex, a gold cigarette case, 3 thou...
But they're gifts from his girlfriend...
He'll forget her sooner...
Sleeping on the couch! Such whims, son!
- Hi! What's going on?
- Nothing...
Your father's in one of his moods...
- Don't scratch yourself.
- It itches...
- What's going on today?
- I think I'll go to school...
Again? But you already know everything...
Why's the old man sleeping on the couch?
We had a fight...
And where's Miguel?
I've left him with the dentist...
Don't worry, he's better off than we are...
That kid's got it made!
Let me comb your hair...
Christ, Grandma! You're hooked!
You look like a caveman!
- Why did you stop it?
- I'm sick of that song.
- Want some?
- No, thanks...
I'm listening...
Well... I sweat a lot... my hair falls off...
This is a prosthesis I'm wearing...
I'm not a dermatologist.
Besides...
...I'm impotent...
That's something else... Who with?
- What do you mean?
- With men or women?
Women, who did you think?
Are you sure you don't like men?
Are you going steady with anyone?
Good. Next time, you bring her.
But what's wrong with me?
Don't worry... we'll find out next time...
Today, I feel awful...
Whom did I have supper with?
Who are you?
The cleaning woman...
Your brother sent me...
Of course! By the way...
...do you know if my
brother was here last night?
No, sir...
And my girlfriend? Well, my ex-girlfriend...
No, sir, I don't...
Weird...
Well, bring her next week...
Marisol's doings...
she's taken back her gifts...
Was my ex-girlfriend here last night?
I don't know... I'll ring you back later...
Passengers to Berlin via Frankfurt...
... gate 13, please.
They won't even let me die in peace...
- Who are you?
- Lucas Villalba...
...a writer. Do you speak French?
- No.
- Let me in...
- Who gave you my address?
- Your publishers...
- The pricks!
I don't grant interviews, I'm busy.
- Go away!
- I want to talk first!
Why don't you lay off?
I'm a friend of Antonio's,
your old chauffeur...
Antonio... that poor devil...
Give him my best.
He still loves you...
What are you doing?
I'm committing suicide...
Can't you see?
You can't! We've got to talk first.
Where's the bathroom?
Over there...
Why can't you let me die in peace?
Your career is over, you're broke...
You haven't changed with the times...
No, times haven't changed with me...
I'll give you the chance to
make money, lots of it...
I don't trust you...
You know Antonio's a great forger...
I'm writing Hitler's memoirs...
He could forge the manuscript.
And what must I do?
Convince him.
You already did it once, here's the proof.
Why should I help you?
I just saved your life.
More reason to hate you.
I'll inform the cops you're forgers...
- I don't give a s**t!
- Think of Lotte...
She's dead...
What would become of her reputation?
But what can I do?
Speak to him, tell him you'll go see him...
I can't call him now...
...I feel so weak...
Better, he'll think you've moved...
Answer it.
Yes?
Antonio, this is Ingrid Mller...
Frau Mller! What a surprise!
I've been wanting to call you...
... but I didn't want to bother you...
You, bother me?
I've often thought about you!
I never forgot you...
...every day I think about you.
Antonio, I'd like to see you...
Frau Mller, if only I had known...
What would you say if I came...
...to Madrid to speak to
you about business?
You? Come here?
- To see me?
- Lf you don't mind...
... I'd love to.
- When?
- Soon, I'll let you know.
I have a small problem...
...and only you can help me.
- Will you?
- But of course...
- You can count on me.
- Thank you, Antonio.
Now that I've spoken to you, I feel better...
I'm so Ionely...
Don't say that, you have me.
Thank you darling, see you soon...
Great!
Goodbye...
Will you eat here?
What's changed your mood?
That wh*re's phone call?
How dare you.
When will she let us be?
- What has she done to you?
- Nothing, and to you?
- You're jealous.
- Who? Me?
You were drooling when
you were talking to her...
Why don't you go back to Germany?
You're going too far... be careful...
But... what's that?
Nothing, a lizard...
He's very nice, he doesn't bite...
I told you not to leave your box...
...my son's so delicate...
See? I'm not the only who goes too far...
Don't speak like that about my mother!
If you don't like it, there's the door.
- Very well!
- Don't fight because of me.
I'm the one who must go
back to the village...
This is your home!
They don't love us, Money, they don't...
And the lizard's home is here!
I'll never manage to learn...
You're a great student, you will!
I'd like to study agriculture...
I could take care of the ranch...
- That'll make me happy...
- I spent my life hoping...
How about setting up a ranch in the village?
Right on, man!
SPLENDOR IN THE GRASS
Let's go and see what we find in the park...
Okay. Sure.
- May I help you?
- Some No-Doze, please.
You need a prescription to get it...
Well, then, give me some Bostaid...
- Uh-uh...
- I've always bought them...
You shouldn't have.
Well, give me some Dexedrines...
...my nerves are shot!
- You have the syndrome...
- The syndrome? What's that?
Go to the doctor...
...tell him you're an addict
and you need pills.
Me, an addict!
You're insulting me!
What you're asking for are drugs.
All right, so now I'm a dope addict...
You want me to hold up the drugstore?
Those are the rules...
And what are the rules for
an 18-hour work day?
That's your problem.
Are you deaf, damn it?
I'm cooking supper!
Come here!
What is it?
Pig! Using my hairpins to clean your ears...
I ain't going to work.
You won the lottery?
I'm going to pick up Frau Mller.
Iron my white shirt.
What you going to do with her?
We'll drive on the freeway, she'll like that...
Iron that shirt, I'm in a hurry.
- Iron it yourself!
- What's wrong?
I don't want a fight...
- What is it?
- Just leave me alone!
I told you to iron that shirt!
And I told you to iron it yourself!
What?
Don't you ever put your hands on me again!
Money?
Money...
Put the soap in.
C'mon, hurry up.
I want to see the TV program...
That's right, go ahead and program it.
That way, you'll learn...
And don't you move...
...until it's finished.
- I want to see the telly!
- No telly!
Now that school is over
you're going to do all the housework!
If Dad were here, you wouldn't dare!
Don't you mention him again!
- It's true!
- Don't answer back!
If you move, I'll smash you against the wall!
You old bag!
Poor thing, you'll traumatize her...
I'm in the same shape
that she is, and I take it.
She's like her father, the f**king b*tch...
Backless...
And shorter, or I'll look like a nun.
- How?
- Like the picture...
- Like this?
- A little higher...
f**king God Almighty! My jug!
- It was your fault...
- I'll kill her!
- I will testify she's in the kitchen.
- I'm telling you, it's her.
It's just a vase...
I think you only feel with your cu*t!
Jesus, you're gross!
Goddamn you!
I've warned you a hundred times!
Gimme that picture! Tear it up!
- What's happening?
- She's beating her up...
I just can't stand it...
And don't you dare f**king move from here!
We'll see who's stronger here!
- She's just a child...
- Don't spoil her!
She can rot!
She can rot! I hate her!
It's not nice to hate your mother...
She hates me because I remind her of dad...
He left because of her.
Sometimes a father is no solution...
Why don't you adopt me?
I'm not such a good mother either.
Well, I'll adopt you.
The ideas you have!
- What's wrong?
- Nothing...
I'm just tired. I'll go fix supper.
- Bye, sweetie.
Bye.
I'll baste it tonight, come back tomorrow.
Can you lend me a bay leaf or two?
I just bought some...
She's going mad...
She went into a fit because
a miserable vase broke.
You know her.
So, gossiping behind my back? Here.
Do I criticize you 'cause you're a wh*re?
Listen, I raise her the way I
f**king well please!
But I don't want to swear...
Poor thing! No wonder she's
the way she is...
- What do you mean?
- Don't make me talk...
- I'm sick of you!
- And me of you, slut!
Why have a child if you can't even love her?
Why don't you stick your
tongue up your a**?
Forgive me, but I have
enough with my problem...
I'm going, too, and I'll take my dress!
C'mon! Out!
That's for being nice.
I'll never give her another dress to make!
And I certainly mean it!
She's bitter because no one looks at her...
Not all women can have a body like mine...
...that make men go wild...
...but to be ugly doesn't
mean you have to be rude.
And I simply can't stand
people yelling, her or...
It's Grandma's lizard...
It's got blood...
Holy Barbara! What a lightning flash!
Let's take cover...
Sweet Jesus, protect us from all evil...
Goodness... It's swelling...
Money, Money...
Where's that f**king lizard?
It was done with a very blunt object...
- It smells fishy.
- It smells lovely.
- Looking for something?
- Do you have a metal bar?
- A baseball bat?
- A monkey wrench?
- Nothing like that...
- We have to search...
Certainly. Do what you have to do.
- Want a little soup?
- No, thank you...
But have some, it'll do you good...
I'll never be able to have soup again...
I understand how you feel,
but we must speak...
Yes, as you wish...
Let's go to the living room.
- Your husband had enemies?
- I suppose so...
The poor man wasn't very agreeable...
Was he ever robbed in the taxi?
He was, last week.
- Did he report it?
- I think so.
Punks sometimes take revenge...
...but it's strange they came here.
People are so mean...
- Chief...
- Perhaps a clue...
Money...
We found this stick in there...
Sticks?
Grandma picks them up in the park...
Check it well.
I'm going to the toilet for a minute...
When she comes out, check everything...
- We already have, chief.
- Do it again, she's weird.
- This stick is clean.
- Leave it over there.
These drawers are locked.
- Break them open.
- Yes, Chief.
- Mineral water...
- From Catalonia!
- Cupcakes and lithium salt!
- Lithium salt.
That's Granny's...
She's addicted to sweets
and effervescents...
- Why does she lock them up?
- She's very tight...
- And where's Grandma?
- I don't know...
Perhaps at the movies with the kid...
Tell me, What were you doing
when it happened?
- And now what?
- Don't know...
- It's such a small house...
- And so strange...
I had just started a soup
and I had no bay leaf...
So I went to Juani's...
...my neighbor. I spent some time there...
...with her daughter and
my neighbor Cristal.
Where does your neighbour Cristal live?
Next door.
How long were you with them?
No. Some 20 minutes...
Juani had just beaten Vanessa...
Then...
...Cristal came down with me...
...and... when we got here...
...we found...
...we found him...
Did you hear anything? See anything?
Nothing, with the freeway right here...
...you don't hear anything.
- We've searched everywhere...
- Nothing.
What's that?
- Is the lizard Grandma's?
- She loves animals...
Take it away!
- Why did you kill it?
- It gave me the creeps.
- Our only witness!
- The lizard?
- It had met the murderer.
- When?
Stay here. I'll question the neighbours...
Throw it out, there's been
enough blood here...
I'm sorry, ma'am.
- Are you Cristal?
- Cristal Scott.
- Mind if I check your I.D.?
- You don't trust me?
I'll have to look for it, I don't know where...
It's not here...
Let's see, here you are.
- It says Carmen Martinez...
- I'm an actress...
Yeah, I can see that...
- To be talented is a crime?
- Depends.
Stand back, I'm going to close it.
A murder's been committed next door...
I found the body!
Tell me exactly what happened...
Will you sit down or shall
I show you round?
Ok, sit down.
Tell me what you've been
doing in the past hour?
I was at Juani's, trying on a dress...
As soon as we get home, we'll change...
But... what's this?
It's Money, Toni, and he's dead.
Bummer! He must have fallen off...
He's been killed!
- A drink?
- No...
I'll have one!
Was the cabbie one of your... admirers?
Him? He was Gloria's husband
and she's my friend...
What do you take me for?
- Where does Juani live?
- On the sixth floor.
- Don't move...
- Where would I go?
I'm not finished...
Well, I am!
It's just not right, it isn't...
...for someone to come and kill you!
I mean, look, a girl like me, living alone...
...with so many expensive objects...
You killed him! Murderer!
- What's up?
- The life of the house!
My mother in law.
We found the lizard in the street, it's dead...
- The lizard, too?
- What do you mean, too?
Cristal, take them...
...with you till this is over...
- You...
- Why? What happened?
Nothing happened.
Hi, beautiful!
- Are they Ingrid Mller?
- Of course not!
- She's not coming then...
- Antonio neither...
...I'll call
Ok, I'll write down the number.
- Do you have a pen?
- S
Thank you. Ok, yeah.
Excuse me, what does it say here?
That Ingrid Mller has committed suicide...
Ingrid Mller has committed suicide...
And Antonio's dead.
- But, why?
- Maybe for love...
- Poor things...
- Poor us!
- What luck! The deal's off!
- You're cursed!
- Here...
- Thanks...
Thanks, my a**! Gimme the dough!
And you wouldn't prefer... you know...
- The money.
- You sure are hard.
You got some cheek!
- How are you, Gran?
- What do you think?
Take it easy, Gran...
Yes, but I want to go to the village...
I don't want to be buried here,
like my poor son...
...and the lizard.
We'll go, Gran.
- Hi, Gloria.
- Hi, Cristal.
- I'm sorry, Gran...
- Thank you, Cristal.
Your friend the writer no longer needs me...
If you hear of anything...
Don't worry, I'll tell you.
Do you want me to lend you some money?
We'll manage...
I'm off, I've got a special job.
You're lucky!
Grandma and me are going to the village.
Wonderful!
I'll be rid of you all!
Come with us...
- You gotta be kidding...
- You wouldn't be alone...
As if you cared!
I do care.
What's all this about?
I'm going to paper the house, it's filthy.
Want a hand?
No, I don't. I want to do it alone and I will!
Gran, let's go get my money from the bank.
- What for?
- To get the bus tickets.
You mean it? You really mean it?
Let's go.
- Get the door, Toni.
- I'm going.
- And Gloria?
- In the kitchen.
What are you doing?
I found some cheap paper
to do the house over...
Don't know...
what's cheap turns out expensive...
Can you keep an eye on her?
- I don't trust her...
- All right, fine.
You better behave or I'll tie you up.
Look at your hair!
Let her be...
Thanks, see you later...
Want a comic? I'm pretty busy...
- I'll watch you...
- Well, you'll have fun.
I've got to clear all this and paper the walls.
- I can help you.
- No, you're too small...
I know how, look.
You've got powers!
Ever since I was little... Anything else?
Well... we could start with the kitchen...
I'll do it.
- My girlfriend...
- How do you do?
You're lucky to have a girlfriend...
It will be easier.
Impotence is caused by what we call...
...anxiety of execution.
- Of course.
Too much importance is given to coitus...
There are other ways to find pleasure...
Yes, many, many...
Accordingly, try to avoid an erection.
We will start with some
resensualization exercises...
- You've got... nice bodies...
- Thank you.
So play and enjoy them...
...but no erection and no penetration...
...and the anxiety will disappear.
Yeah... but if he gets...
Well, you understand me... if he...
Gets an erection? I don't think so.
Yes, but with what you've told us...
Well, he very well could...
In that case, it's up to you two.
- Thanks, Carmen.
- Thanks, nothing!
30 bucks and don't call
me Carmen, I'm Cristal!
To me, you're Carmen.
This is work!
And the exercises aren't included.
- What a surprise!
- Hi, Gloria...
- You here?
- We're working here...
Of course, you know Inspector Polo...
- How are you?
- We haven't given up...
...but nothing's clear...
Antonio's dead, the rest doesn't matter!
I always run into her,
the odd looks she gives me...
What the poor thing needs
is a nice big pipe.
If your plumbing worked,
you could give her a hand...
You haven't told her about us, have you?
Of course not. It's a professional secret...
Take off your clothes.
- You do it for me...
- You've got some cheek...
Couldn't you put on another record?
I must learn English...
How am I going to manage in Las Vegas?
What will you do there?
Become a star.
What do you think, with a body like mine!
Speaking of that,
let's check you out, cookie...
- And you, too...
- Me! How dare you!
"High quality"...
Touch me through my clothes, it's sexier...
You got a nice bod... God.
A policeman must have a nice build...
I like it that way.
- Do you like it?
- Well, yes...
...it's okay.
- Don't charge me, then.
- You a pimp or what?
If you don't charge me,
I won't mention the heroin...
- What heroin?
- In the Chinese box.
Can't you stop poking about?
You won't ever get cured like this...
It excites me more if you don't charge me...
I take it to lose weight...
Heroin cuts your appetite,
if you didn't know...
But you look fine...
You want me to look like a sow...
Flatterer! You're a flatterer!
Such a silly d*ck!
- It's burgeoning...
- Better than nothing.
I like it, but it makes me nervous,
like the psychiatrist said...
- Forget him!
- Forget the heroin!
You are a heroine.
What are you doing?
I'm letting off steam!
There are more normal ways to do it...
For me, they're no good!
How's the case going?
No one knows anything, seen anything...
A tough nut to crack.
I see you a lot with Cristal...
You don't think she did it, do you?
- Why do you ask me that?
- She knows nothing...
I'm the one who killed my husband!
With a ham bone!
Like that!
Don't go shouting it from the rooftops!
- It's dangerous...
- I don't give a damn!
Go get some seats...
I'll be right there...
Get me a window seat!
- Blasa!
- Paquita!
- You here!
- How are you?
- I'm going to the village.
- You are?
- Yes.
- Me, too. I learned about your poor son...
- I'm really, truly sorry...
- Thank you.
By the way, who's died in the village lately?
All the old ones are dying...
Better for the old ones to die...
...than the young ones.
Poor Torrezno hung himself...
- He didn't wait for the Lord's call.
- What a tragedy!
His wife, 8 days later, from sorrow...
- My God!
- You can't imagine...
And the cold, terrible...
It's a good thing you're collecting firewood.
Where's Gran gone to?
No more No-Doze! They're bad for you.
Not one since your dad died,
and I feel worse...
Cold turkey is a bummer, it'll pass.
- You think so?
- Yeah.
Here, for you...
But... where did you get it from?
- My savings...
- How little I know you...
You'll go to school in the village?
No, I'll work the land.
The sacrifices we did
to give you an education!
I'll write, okay?
- Don't forget, I am your mother...
- Don't worry.
- Bye, Gloria.
- Bye, Grandma.
- Gloria, goodbye.
- Mrs. Paquita.
- Take care of yourself...
- I will...
- You look awful.
- Thank you.
And no more pills!
Hi, mom! I know about Dad...
- How did it happen?
- In the kitchen...
He fell against the sink and broke his neck...
I didn't tell you, so as not to make you sad...
I'm here to stay. This house needs a man.
What about the doctor?
At first, it was fun...
But I'm too young to tie
myself down with anyone...
Toni told me they were
going to the village...
They've left.
Did dad miss me?
He worked so hard...
...he didn't realize you were gone...
But I missed you a lot...
I'm so glad you're back.
English subtitles by:
SOFTITLER
WHAT HAVE
I DONE
TO
DESERVE
THIS?
Transl. & Adapt. - Mathilda Grange
Manolo overdid it, this time...
He's okay...
Where are my shoes?
Higher...
No, there...
4, Donastiarra Avenue.
Hey! I live there, too!
You like Lotte von Mossel?
I lived in Germany...
I worked as a chauffeur for a friend of hers...
A singer, too, but younger, of course...
The thing is, we had an affair.
This song brings back so many memories!
Why didn't you stay there?
I wonder...
Look...
The author was my boss...
It's Lotte von Mossel's biography.
Letters by Hitler!
Yeah... she was a bit Nazi...
I'm going to tell you a secret...
I wrote them...
What?
I copy handwriting, but I'm not a forger...
I did it for her, for Ingrid Mller...
The one who was mad about you.
Not that I like it, but she asked me...
...and women, when they want something...!
Didn't anyone find you out?
Of course not. Not even Hitler...
...may he rest in peace, would have known.
You know what are the agricultural...
...innovations introduced
in the XIX century?
You know I'm illiterate!
Ask your father.
But the old man is also illiterate...
You learn a lot driving a cab. And get out...
- How do you like it?
- Heavy, Grandma...
- How's the homework going?
- Just wack...
I'll give you a hand.
Tell me who are the Romantics...
...and who are the Realists?
Ibsen.
Romantic.
- Lord Byron.
- Realist.
- Goethe.
- Another Realist.
And Balzac.
Romantic.
- See how easy it is?
- It sure is...
I told you not to make faces!
Christ! Juani and Vanessa!
- So?
- They're jinxes.
Something always happens...
Ideas! They say the same about me.
I shouldn't have brought you...
- Hi.
- Good evening.
Come on.
- It doesn't work...
- We're one too many.
Can't you read? Vanessa, get down.
- I can walk up, ma'am...
- Let her, she's young. Come on.
Exercise's good for her!
- It's fucked!
- I knew it...
- What did you know?
- He means about me...
Can you hear me? Go get someone!
- I knew it'd happen...
- What would happen?
Go get someone I said!
So, you're a writer...
Writer, journalist, a bit of everything...
- I like to write, too...
- Well, I don't!
- What you hear in a cab...
- I suppose so.
I knew you were coming here...
What you don't miss...
- Supper ready?
- In a minute.
Every time your neighbor
Juani gets in the lift...
...she f**ks it up.
- It ain't her fault.
When I'm alone, it always works just fine...
It respects you...
- Who does?
- The lift, but not Juani.
Iron one of my shirts? I'm in a hurry...
Good evening. A big demographic growth
has forced...
certain countries to take
extreme decisions...
on birth control.
But, what is our situation?
- Want a cupcake?
- I'm not into cakes.
Well, I'll have two.
You think we can go fishing in the village?
Of course. There's a nice river...
You tell me later... they're calling me.
- Ok.
- It's for you...
Yeah... what's up?
Yeah, ok.
... birth control methods...
The chicken's a bit burnt...
f**k! Can't do nothin' right!
Don't worry... it's just the leg, I'll eat it...
You can have all the rest.
- Bring me some ham.
- Ham?
I used the last bit for Miguel's sandwich.
- Do you use any birth control?
- Yes.
All right... I'll get it for you...
It sure is cold in Madrid.
You better take me to the village or...
...I'll freeze to death.
Listen, Antonio...
Keep the bones and the
skin for my dessert...
- You got it?
- Yeah, here...
Fresh, man...
- Here.
- No, I don't dig it.
A joint is harmless. Ever tried it?
No, and I ain't going to. Anything wrong?
Old enough to sell it,
old enough to smoke it.
Okay, let's see what happens...
No, that's for me...
Nothing better for diabetes than cupcakes...
I forgot about it...
You always forget at supper time!
I'll diet a little tomorrow.
Your feet are just like your father's...
The same small, strong, powerful...
I can hardly breathe...
- Gloria, Bring me a beer!
- There ain't any!
- Well, some wine!
- There's only brandy left.
You want me to drink brandy for supper?
Let me have a bottle of mineral water...
And what else?
I work my a** off all day long...
...I have to eat half-burnt chicken...
...and there ain't no f**king wine!
Don't yell, you make my sugar rise...
Gimme a bottle of mineral water...
...or you don't get to suck the bones!
To speak so to your own mother...
All right, I'll buy it from you.
Thirty.
- Dessert!
- There ain't none.
I've made the flat and TV payments...
...you gotta gimme for Miguel's dentist
and for the bus...
...the gas bill's come and I have to pay it
tomorrow or they'll cut it.
It was our first wedding anniversary...
We went out on the town to celebrate...
We came home late...
...slightly tipsy...
We made love a dozen times...
...very satisfactorily, by the way...
The next morning...
...I simply could not get up...
He, moved by his love for me...
...got up...
...to fix me a cup of coffee...
Coffee...
Darling...
Never will I forget that cup of coffee.
Me, me...
Bubbles sure make me flip!
Don't you dig them?
Hi, you're back?
Bless you.
- How's school, son?
- Wack, as usual.
The important thing is handwriting.
How's yours?
He takes after you, it's lovely.
Let's see you imitate my signature...
I copied my father's...
...and you gotta copy mine.
It's as important as your last name...
You've got to write me a letter to Paula...
Have Toni do it.
Very good, nearly like mine.
- He's gifted...
- Well, I'm off.
You'll feel cold with no shoes.
Don't forget to give me some money...
I don't even have enough for the bus...
...I had to walk home today.
Why didn't you ask my mother?
That cheapskate?
I'll die before asking her...
You're too proud...
The poor thing is out of it...
You'd be surprised...
But what do you want?
- Antonio.
- Nothing...
And I need 100 for the dentist...
Miguel needs a bridge and I...
I'm crushing the doll!
Nothing do I owe you...
Nothing do I ask from you...
I'm walking away from you...
... forget me.
I've paid with gold...
... for your brown skin.
Don't curse me, woman...
... we're even.
I don't love you...
... don't love me.
You gave me everything...
... but nothing did I ask from you.
Don't reproach me...
... for losing everything...
At your side, I also lost everything.
Well paid...
... you've been well paid.
Because I paid for your kisses.
You fell into my arms...
... for a fistful of coins.
Well paid...
... well paid...
... well paid...
... were you, woman.
Those sure were pretty songs...
Write me that letter.
What handwriting do you dig most?
The handwriting? Well... Grace Kelly's...
Start...
Dear Paula...
I hope you're fine.
We're just fine. Have you written that?
My grandson's writing, he has grown a lot...
Wait, wait...
He forges handwritings, like his father...
Today, we have chosen poor Grace Kelly's...
... sorrow and happiness...
You're not writing? What's wrong?
I don't know... My guts are killing me.
Something you've eaten!
As if you didn't eat at all hours!
What's this? What the hell is going on?
Nothing, Toni's puked all over me...
I spend my life cleaning for this!
And you, why did you vomit?
Don't know...
Why are you in the shower fully dressed?
To clean myself.
Come on, take those clothes off...
...and put your robe on.
You'll catch your death...
Don't lose your temper...
...you'll have a breakdown!
Hi, Tony.
Man, it's cold in your place!
You look awful! Been sniffing some horse?
- I smoked a joint.
- Lf I catch you...
...screwing around with horse...
s**t, man, dope's business, not fun.
Oh, sure! For business, yeah...
I just finished cleaning, and look!
You're lucky...
...alone, not having to worry about anyone!
It ain't that easy...
Why did I ever marry! What a fool I was...
You wouldn't have a whip, would you?
A whip?
No.
Tonight's client would like a whip...
If I don't take him one, he may even leave...
- He wants to beat you?
- He wouldn't dare!
Let me think...
There may be something...
Come with me...
She's got lots. See, look at this.
With this one, you could even kill him...
Let's see... it's huge!
- It won't break?
- I don't think so...
Bring it right back...
As soon as I turn this trick...
Where are you going with that whip?
I'm borrowing it for a little while.
Don't lose it, it's a nice stick...
Look what Auntie Cristal's brought you...
- What's that?
- A stick.
I couldn't find a whip... Shall I start?
Of course not! What I wanted was a...
...commonplace scene...
Some normal, elegant, sophisticated...
...sadism...
...like in French films.
- You're not a real sadist.
- Of course not!
I just wanted some information for a...
...porno novel, a best-seller type...
Obviously, I'll have to invent it.
Do that. After all, you're a writer.
Go away...
I'm getting out of the tub...
How do you get along
with your neighbors...
...the cabbie's family?
...fine...
She's a bit hysterical but
working all day long...
...as a cleaning woman and with two kids...
My brother needs a cleaning woman.
Could she go?
Probably... If you like, I'll ask her.
She could come to my place, too.
It sure needs it.
I'll give you the address.
- Want a little something?
- Yeah, bend over...
I'm getting this great idea...
...that'd make more money
than a porno novel...
- Aren't writers wicked?
- Sure, the good ones...
- Will you come back?
- I don't know.
If you don't, I'll tell your wife...
You don't know her! A shrew!
I wanted to excite you... I wouldn't do that...
Work is a pain!
Here, and do a good job...
...as usual.
No more? A ten at least...
And I'm giving you a special price...
...usually it's 25%...
- You sure like money...
- Like everyone else.
Even more than me...
Listen, it's a secret
between you and me, eh?
I don't wanna know nothing, I'm a kid.
Kid? You've been around for...
14 years, no more.
The sooner you learn, the better...
Here.
If you need something, just ask...
Better start with me than with any floozy...
You ain't my number.
Why don't you try my brother?
I wouldn't mind...
...but it'd be more difficult...
If you screw my bother, I'll give you a line...
- How big?
- 10 bucks worth.
Well, I'll try.
Hi, mom.
You know what time it is?
I was studying at RaI's...
You were in bed with his father. Like always.
So what? It's my body, ain't it?
What's for supper?
Nothing! What do you expect?
If it's your body, why don't you feed it, too?
You've eaten everything!
If you go to bed with him...
...he could at least feed you!
Wake up and earn your living!
Want a No-Doze? You won't feel hungry...
It makes me nervous...
- Look at you...
- What do you mean?
Ask Grandma for a cake...
- And there's tomato sauce...
- It's moldy!
The toast's for your father...
All right, eat it.
Where on earth were you?
Toni, we still have to finish the letter.
- Right away, Grandma...
- Your stick.
Being illiterate is a pain...
- Do you know how to write?
- Me? Sure...
...but not like Toni...
- He'll be a philosopher...
Grandma, mom says
for you to give me a cake.
- What for?
- Haven't you had supper?
No, and I'm hungry.
Come on home with me.
I haven't eaten either.
Come on.
Thanks for the stick, Grandma.
Gloria, one of my clients wants you...
...to clean house for him and his brother...
It's just that I have so little time...
Here's the address...
- You never know...
- Thanks, honey...
Can you fix him a sandwich...
...for tomorrow?
Sure, don't worry.
God bless you!
She ain't bad...
...but she sure likes men!
What shall I wear for supper?
Whatever you want...
- Something you like...
- You're fine like that.
Like this? Wearing curlers?
Want to see my wedding dress?
- You getting married?
- It's to play wedding night.
You know how?
That's for kids!
You like costumes?
No.
Boys are a bore!
You got new Lola's...
I just bought them.
- Can I borrow them?
- You can have them...
- Well?
- Man, you look great!
I'm glad you like it.
Thanks for the comics.
When Auntie Cristal leaves for the States...
...you'll miss me and so will I.
Let's fix supper.
Put that away and go to sleep, it's late.
Ok.
I ain't going to school. I itch all over...
- lf you didn't smoke...
- Smoke, my a**!
I'm allergic to house dust.
Let me do it, Gran.
I like to comb your hair...
Yeah, but I'm old enough to do it.
What do you want?
Money, what did you think?
I got robbed last night.
What the hell am I going to do?
I'll have to take those jobs
Cristal mentioned.
That Cristal mentioned?
Yeah, a client of hers.
I don't like you to share Cristal's clients.
Think I do? But I have no choice.
Wait! I'm taking the kid to school.
Fantastic!
What a downpour and I forgot my umbrella.
Vanessa, why are you crying?
I slapped her, she wanted to stay home.
Silly! School is a real nice place...
- The street's more fun.
- She drives me nuts!
If you don't go to school,
you'll end up like me...
Or being a tart, like Cristal.
She'd wh*re around before working!
You know the latest?
She wants to be an actress!
With her face!
At her age, it's either actress or missionary.
At her age, I washed, I ironed
and helped my mother.
...but she, all she does is wreck the house...
...and wets her bed every night.
Damn brat!
Bedwetting is normal.
They say I should take her
to a psychiatrist...
...as if I were a millionaire!
Yeah... they think this is America...
They also said it's 'cause
she wants attention...
...so that I know she exists...
Who the hell do they think gave
birth to her?
Cross on your own...
Bye, and be good...
Put on your hood!
- Want to come with me?
- I'm already late...
I'll lend you the umbrella.
For once you lend me something...
Do something about your hair, it's awful!
I don't have time to go to the beauty salon...
Get yourself a curling iron and a hair dye,
that's how I do Vanessa's hair.
That'd be a luxury!
With Antonio's pay,
we can't make ends meet...
I'd lend you mine, but you know how I am...
- Yes, I know...
- And it's Vanessa's...
Look at this one... it's pretty cheap...
Mine cost a lot more...
Of course, it's a lot better.
- Well, I like it...
- It's not bad.
- Where are you going?
- Third floor left.
Those drunks?
- Well, yes.
- Stay.
You'll probably regret it... here...
- Who are you?
- Gloria.
Cristal sent me...
Of course... Come in.
Everything is in a mess...
My wife and I, we're writers...
Where shall I start?
Wherever... the kitchen...
The manager gave me this for you...
Lucas.
What the f**k are you doing in the kitchen?
Can't I even sleep in peace?
- What are you doing here?
- I'm the cleaning woman.
What's all this about?
The cleaning lady, I forgot to tell you...
Since when do we rate a cleaning lady?
From today. I did it for you...
...so you can finish that wonderful comedy...
...you started ten years ago.
And how will you pay her?
Don't worry about money...
You wouldn't dare touch the account...
...for my face-lift!
You don't need one. You look great...
- How do you do it?
- Look at the difference!
- You look Chinese!
- See?
Go say you're sorry before she runs away...
I'm sorry... my name's Patricia...
A pleasure, mine's Gloria.
Lucas hadn't told me... a surprise...
- How about a cup of coffee?
- I'd love one, ma'am.
Let me do it... and don't call me ma'am...
...but Patricia.
You certainly are a fast worker!
Habit, I suppose.
I find cleaning terribly depressing...
Pedro, I found you a cleaning woman...
Didn't you want one? You got one.
- What's your cut?
- I want to see you happy.
Then shoot me.
Marisol's left me this time for good.
You no longer drink...
She can't stand me sober either.
We'll drop by tonight.
I don't want to see you!
- You know we love you...
- But I don't love you.
- Forget me.
- See you tonight.
No, no.
I'll hang up. Patricia wants to have a chat...
- What's going on?
- I'm euphoric...
- And this?
- Rejected again!
And you've hired a maid!
Maids inspire writers,
Truman Capote wrote...
...his best novel with his charwoman.
To write like him...
...you need more than a charwoman.
I also drink like him.
- Look who's here.
- Well, again...
- What's up, bro?
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Fine and you.
- Fine, lend me a coin to play the machines...
- I have a coin.
I'm hooked. It's the best thing in Madrid.
- Well, you got it?
- Sure, here it is.
A gram?
- Good smack?
- Super...
Straight from Amsterdam, incredible...
Trust me, I don't cut the stuff...
Don't worry, it's really good.
- Look! I got the jackpot!
- Man, that's luck!
I'll buy you a drink...
- I'll have a brandy...
- Me, too.
Mineral water with lots of bubbles...
A soda with lots of bubbles
and two brandies...
Let's go sit in the Alhambra...
- Ain't it pretty?
- Yes.
If you haven't seen Granada,
you haven't seen nothing.
- Have you been there?
- Never.
- Neither have I.
- Good morning.
- Hi, good morning.
I brought you a figurine.
- I already have one...
- But it's Ionely...
Not through there,
through the figurine hole...
Oh, I forgot.
I wonder why you need so much security...
Punks never sleep...
Hey, man, when can I draw my own money?
When you're 18...
Save until then...
By the way, how do you do it?
I don't have vices...
What?
Hurry.
Look.
Hi, lizard...
- Say hello to him...
- The f**ker doesn't move...
He's hibernating...
Poor thing, he must be cold!
He's used to it.
Not even a lizard can stand this weather.
Let's search.
- I feel bad leaving the lizard here...
- But, Grandma...
Look! He's following us.
- What?
- Let's take him home.
The old lady won't like it...
- What shall we name him?
- Lizard.
- There's lots of them...
- Something you like.
I like... cakes, the cemetery...
...money...
- We'll call him Money.
- Why?
- He's green, like money.
Good morning.
Gimme a hand!
I've walked up the five floors.
What?
Go get the other bags...
...I couldn't carry them all...
They better fix the lift soon...
...I feel like I'm in jail.
Toni, you also steal my effervescents.
What's that?
It's a lizard... we found it in the park...
A lizard. What do you think this is? A zoo?
You scared me...
You'll cut yourself...
Let me! You've done enough for one day...
Take that animal away from here!
- He doesn't bite, he's hibernating.
- I said I don't want animals.
- Here!
- His name's Money...
- Grandma and me found it in the park...
- It's beautiful.
You'll complain that you have rashes...
It won't be the lizard's fault!
Either you throw it out or I do!
I'm sick and tired of you.
I'd like to know...
...what you'd do if I decided to leave!
Where's my No-Doze?
Where is it?
I'll ask Saint Anthony to find it.
Look, your pills! You're blind...
I've told you not to touch them!
I didn't!
I told you St. Anthony would find them...
Where's my watch?
Where's my watch?
Has anyone seen my watch?
How should I know?
Scatterbrain, always losing things...
Look around.
I have no choice but to
ask St. Anthony to find it...
- Are you Gloria?
- Yes.
- From the village?
- Well...
- Manolo's daughter?
- Yes, yes...
Don't you remember?
The times you wetted my apron...
You don't remember?
- I...
- You were a baby...
- Is this your son?
- His name's Miguel.
- You married Antonio...
- Yes.
- Blasa's son.
- Yes.
Your mother-in-law...
Give her my regards,
I often think about her...
I will...
- Next.
- It's our turn...
- See you again.
- Tell her you saw me...
Ok, goodbye.
Come in...
Good afternoon, good afternoon...
Sit down... Make yourself at home...
Make yourself comfortable...
Madam, do sit down...
If you're squeamish,
best look the other way...
Some frightful things happen here...
Nothing impresses me anymore...
What a handsome boy...
- What is your name?
- Miguel.
Do you like children?
I've always liked them...
- You don't have any of your own?
- No.
It's sad for a couple not to have children...
I've never married...
I wanted to adopt one, but the red tape...
And it's expensive...
Slowly...
Bite!
Bite...
About this, when will I
have to pay the first...
Come to my office...
Miguel, I've been speaking to the doctor...
...he likes you a lot.
- I know that...
Well, he'd like to adopt you...
You'd have to...
You'd have to live with him here...
What do you think?
You know that at home...
- You got a video?
- Yes, Miguel.
And a hi-fi?
Yes, Miguel...
Sonny...
I want to take painting lessons...
Don't worry...
...you'll have them.
I'm free, nobody controls me...
- A strong personality...
- I like that...
- Hi.
- Hi, isn't Gloria in?
No.
- Where is she?
- Don't know, out...
It's just that... I need her now...
She's never home,
I don't know where she goes...
I can't ask you in case
I'm swamped with my knitting.
Gloria! A girl's been looking for you...
- Who?
- But it's me...
- What is it?
- I've got something...
What?
I don't give a s**t, you bore me...
She's rude... Tell me.
Well...
You're out of it.
Want to make some easy money?
- For God's sake!
- You ain't got to move!
- He's waiting...
- Don't be crazy!
I ain't gonna start at my age...
It won't take long...
All you have to do is watch...
He's an ex...
...hibitionist. It's real easy!
If he touches me, I'll leave...
...I'm not in a joking mood.
- Hi.
- My friend... a client...
- Madam...
- Hi!
Sit down. I'm about to start...
At first glance, I may look too thin...
...but don't believe it.
My arms...
...are stronger than they look...
But a man doesn't screw with his arms.
My torso may seem too skinny...
But a man doesn't screw with his torso...
My legs?
My legs aren't those of a sportsman...
But a man doesn't screw with his legs...
What does a man screw with? You?
You?
With his c**k...
With his c**k?
Exactly.
I don't have a c**k, but a horse's dong.
Every time I enter a woman's vagina...
...I destroy her!
- Jesus!
That's why I've got to go with wh*res...
...with big cu*ts, stretched by use...
Normal women won't go with me...
...they're too scared!
And my spunk!
You can't imagine what it's like...
So white...
So thick!
Such pressure! A geyser!
Great for the skin.
Come in...
Such a cozy house!
Yeah... but we can't live here...
I like it.
Look, I want to take it to the village...
...so he can run around...
...with the cats, with the neighbors...
We just can't remain in Madrid...
We just can't breathe...
You see... Gloria came this morning...
...and she forgot this.
Her watch! I knew it!
St. Anthony never fails me...
You here?
I brought Gloria's watch back...
...she had forgotten it.
Thank you.
- And I wanted to see you.
- Me?
Let's go to the bar...
- Where's Gloria?
- At Cristal's.
Women today just won't stay home!
- Do you feel it inside?
- Yes, yes...
- Tell me how it feels...
- I feel it.
I feel it, I feel it real good...
- Tell me again, love...
- Oh! I feel it...
Listen... I think I'm about to...
Are you coming?
- Tell me how...
- I'm coming, I'm coming...
Tell me about it...
I'm coming... just fine...
...so nice...
How satisfying!
I'll do the 24 hours of Le Mans...
- A glass of wine.
- One for me, too.
Well?
Overtaking number seven...
The moment I saw Hitler's letters...
...I got this wonderful idea.
What's that got to do with me?
I'm writing the memoirs of a dictator...
With a few changes, it could be Hitler.
I'll give you the content, you copy them...
When it becomes known we have Hitler's...
...memoirs, they'll go wild.
We can ask anything we want, millions...
You know forging is a crime?
You've forged letters before...
It's not the same...
Hitler had written to Lotte von Mossel...
...but the letters got lost.
- According to your Ingrid.
- Keep her out of it!
Think about the money, talk to Gloria...
I don't need to talk to anyone!
And you be careful...
...I could tell the cops about you.
Now, I'll do a Model T...
The starter...
What were you doing there?
I... borrowed a curling iron from Cristal...
You and I better have a little chat.
I don't want you hanging around Cristal.
Lower, she'll hear you.
Cristal's like a sister to me.
- She's a wh*re!
- So what?
They could mistake you for one!
You gotta be kidding! The way I look?
And I don't want you to
work anywhere, get that?
What will I pay the rent with?
And the television payments?
And the children's clothes? And the food?
You're a nitwit!
Always thinking about luxuries!
What a pity.
Luxuries! I don't even have winter shoes!
We live like gypsies!
You think I enjoy working the way I do?
There are more important
things than money.
- Really?
- Yeah... decency, for one.
If I weren't choosy, I could make a bundle...
...but I happen to be a decent man.
Does decency cut your appetite?
I forbid you to be with Cristal!
And you're not going back to that writer's!
Let them clean their own s**t!
Give me money then, and I won't go back!
Why don't you put on a little make-up?
Why don't you make up your prick?
The Lebanon crisis worries me so...
You're my Lebanon!
Supper will be ready in a sec.
I'm off. You've given me enough s**t.
Isn't it a good idea?
Worthy of you, but count me out.
I just need $2000...
...to pay for the trip and
the German translation...
- It's the last time I...
- I said no!
I told you it was impossible...
Pedro, I understand you're
upset about Marisol...
...but why take it out on your elder brother?
Why don't you have some green wine?
- It doesn't look green...
- It's the bottle...
Thanks, but I won't.
I've gone through hell to stop drinking.
Just sniff it...
What a strong smell!
Your sense of smell's gone
with the treatment...
Well, I'll just try a little...
But keep an eye on me...
It tastes like sherry to me...
Shame! You've even lost your taste buds.
Won't it hurt me with all
those pills I'm taking?
May all evil fall on Patricia.
Ain't he funny?
Well, I'll go touch up my face...
Don't drink it all,
I'm a bit of an alcoholic, too.
Did you get anything?
He couldn't even hold the pen!
Here I am... Are you going
to leave him like this?
I'm not in a baby-sitting mood.
- Marisol, you're back...
- Yes, yes, my love...
Let's put the baby to bed...
He'll never forgive me for being a genius...
Lucas, you're a pig and so am I.
But what... are we going to do about this?
You respect nothing.
Don't complain.
I was a kleptomaniac when we met...
Invent an excuse and return them...
What could we get for them?
A Rolex, a gold cigarette case, 3 thou...
But they're gifts from his girlfriend...
He'll forget her sooner...
Sleeping on the couch! Such whims, son!
- Hi! What's going on?
- Nothing...
Your father's in one of his moods...
- Don't scratch yourself.
- It itches...
- What's going on today?
- I think I'll go to school...
Again? But you already know everything...
Why's the old man sleeping on the couch?
We had a fight...
And where's Miguel?
I've left him with the dentist...
Don't worry, he's better off than we are...
That kid's got it made!
Let me comb your hair...
Christ, Grandma! You're hooked!
You look like a caveman!
- Why did you stop it?
- I'm sick of that song.
- Want some?
- No, thanks...
I'm listening...
Well... I sweat a lot... my hair falls off...
This is a prosthesis I'm wearing...
I'm not a dermatologist.
Besides...
...I'm impotent...
That's something else... Who with?
- What do you mean?
- With men or women?
Women, who did you think?
Are you sure you don't like men?
Are you going steady with anyone?
Good. Next time, you bring her.
But what's wrong with me?
Don't worry... we'll find out next time...
Today, I feel awful...
Whom did I have supper with?
Who are you?
The cleaning woman...
Your brother sent me...
Of course! By the way...
...do you know if my
brother was here last night?
No, sir...
And my girlfriend? Well, my ex-girlfriend...
No, sir, I don't...
Weird...
Well, bring her next week...
Marisol's doings...
she's taken back her gifts...
Was my ex-girlfriend here last night?
I don't know... I'll ring you back later...
Passengers to Berlin via Frankfurt...
... gate 13, please.
They won't even let me die in peace...
- Who are you?
- Lucas Villalba...
...a writer. Do you speak French?
- No.
- Let me in...
- Who gave you my address?
- Your publishers...
- The pricks!
I don't grant interviews, I'm busy.
- Go away!
- I want to talk first!
Why don't you lay off?
I'm a friend of Antonio's,
your old chauffeur...
Antonio... that poor devil...
Give him my best.
He still loves you...
What are you doing?
I'm committing suicide...
Can't you see?
You can't! We've got to talk first.
Where's the bathroom?
Over there...
Why can't you let me die in peace?
Your career is over, you're broke...
You haven't changed with the times...
No, times haven't changed with me...
I'll give you the chance to
make money, lots of it...
I don't trust you...
You know Antonio's a great forger...
I'm writing Hitler's memoirs...
He could forge the manuscript.
And what must I do?
Convince him.
You already did it once, here's the proof.
Why should I help you?
I just saved your life.
More reason to hate you.
I'll inform the cops you're forgers...
- I don't give a s**t!
- Think of Lotte...
She's dead...
What would become of her reputation?
But what can I do?
Speak to him, tell him you'll go see him...
I can't call him now...
...I feel so weak...
Better, he'll think you've moved...
Answer it.
Yes?
Antonio, this is Ingrid Mller...
Frau Mller! What a surprise!
I've been wanting to call you...
... but I didn't want to bother you...
You, bother me?
I've often thought about you!
I never forgot you...
...every day I think about you.
Antonio, I'd like to see you...
Frau Mller, if only I had known...
What would you say if I came...
...to Madrid to speak to
you about business?
You? Come here?
- To see me?
- Lf you don't mind...
... I'd love to.
- When?
- Soon, I'll let you know.
I have a small problem...
...and only you can help me.
- Will you?
- But of course...
- You can count on me.
- Thank you, Antonio.
Now that I've spoken to you, I feel better...
I'm so Ionely...
Don't say that, you have me.
Thank you darling, see you soon...
Great!
Goodbye...
Will you eat here?
What's changed your mood?
That wh*re's phone call?
How dare you.
When will she let us be?
- What has she done to you?
- Nothing, and to you?
- You're jealous.
- Who? Me?
You were drooling when
you were talking to her...
Why don't you go back to Germany?
You're going too far... be careful...
But... what's that?
Nothing, a lizard...
He's very nice, he doesn't bite...
I told you not to leave your box...
...my son's so delicate...
See? I'm not the only who goes too far...
Don't speak like that about my mother!
If you don't like it, there's the door.
- Very well!
- Don't fight because of me.
I'm the one who must go
back to the village...
This is your home!
They don't love us, Money, they don't...
And the lizard's home is here!
I'll never manage to learn...
You're a great student, you will!
I'd like to study agriculture...
I could take care of the ranch...
- That'll make me happy...
- I spent my life hoping...
How about setting up a ranch in the village?
Right on, man!
SPLENDOR IN THE GRASS
Let's go and see what we find in the park...
Okay. Sure.
- May I help you?
- Some No-Doze, please.
You need a prescription to get it...
Well, then, give me some Bostaid...
- Uh-uh...
- I've always bought them...
You shouldn't have.
Well, give me some Dexedrines...
...my nerves are shot!
- You have the syndrome...
- The syndrome? What's that?
Go to the doctor...
...tell him you're an addict
and you need pills.
Me, an addict!
You're insulting me!
What you're asking for are drugs.
All right, so now I'm a dope addict...
You want me to hold up the drugstore?
Those are the rules...
And what are the rules for
an 18-hour work day?
That's your problem.
Are you deaf, damn it?
I'm cooking supper!
Come here!
What is it?
Pig! Using my hairpins to clean your ears...
I ain't going to work.
You won the lottery?
I'm going to pick up Frau Mller.
Iron my white shirt.
What you going to do with her?
We'll drive on the freeway, she'll like that...
Iron that shirt, I'm in a hurry.
- Iron it yourself!
- What's wrong?
I don't want a fight...
- What is it?
- Just leave me alone!
I told you to iron that shirt!
And I told you to iron it yourself!
What?
Don't you ever put your hands on me again!
Money?
Money...
Put the soap in.
C'mon, hurry up.
I want to see the TV program...
That's right, go ahead and program it.
That way, you'll learn...
And don't you move...
...until it's finished.
- I want to see the telly!
- No telly!
Now that school is over
you're going to do all the housework!
If Dad were here, you wouldn't dare!
Don't you mention him again!
- It's true!
- Don't answer back!
If you move, I'll smash you against the wall!
You old bag!
Poor thing, you'll traumatize her...
I'm in the same shape
that she is, and I take it.
She's like her father, the f**king b*tch...
Backless...
And shorter, or I'll look like a nun.
- How?
- Like the picture...
- Like this?
- A little higher...
f**king God Almighty! My jug!
- It was your fault...
- I'll kill her!
- I will testify she's in the kitchen.
- I'm telling you, it's her.
It's just a vase...
I think you only feel with your cu*t!
Jesus, you're gross!
Goddamn you!
I've warned you a hundred times!
Gimme that picture! Tear it up!
- What's happening?
- She's beating her up...
I just can't stand it...
And don't you dare f**king move from here!
We'll see who's stronger here!
- She's just a child...
- Don't spoil her!
She can rot!
She can rot! I hate her!
It's not nice to hate your mother...
She hates me because I remind her of dad...
He left because of her.
Sometimes a father is no solution...
Why don't you adopt me?
I'm not such a good mother either.
Well, I'll adopt you.
The ideas you have!
- What's wrong?
- Nothing...
I'm just tired. I'll go fix supper.
- Bye, sweetie.
Bye.
I'll baste it tonight, come back tomorrow.
Can you lend me a bay leaf or two?
I just bought some...
She's going mad...
She went into a fit because
a miserable vase broke.
You know her.
So, gossiping behind my back? Here.
Do I criticize you 'cause you're a wh*re?
Listen, I raise her the way I
f**king well please!
But I don't want to swear...
Poor thing! No wonder she's
the way she is...
- What do you mean?
- Don't make me talk...
- I'm sick of you!
- And me of you, slut!
Why have a child if you can't even love her?
Why don't you stick your
tongue up your a**?
Forgive me, but I have
enough with my problem...
I'm going, too, and I'll take my dress!
C'mon! Out!
That's for being nice.
I'll never give her another dress to make!
And I certainly mean it!
She's bitter because no one looks at her...
Not all women can have a body like mine...
...that make men go wild...
...but to be ugly doesn't
mean you have to be rude.
And I simply can't stand
people yelling, her or...
It's Grandma's lizard...
It's got blood...
Holy Barbara! What a lightning flash!
Let's take cover...
Sweet Jesus, protect us from all evil...
Goodness... It's swelling...
Money, Money...
Where's that f**king lizard?
It was done with a very blunt object...
- It smells fishy.
- It smells lovely.
- Looking for something?
- Do you have a metal bar?
- A baseball bat?
- A monkey wrench?
- Nothing like that...
- We have to search...
Certainly. Do what you have to do.
- Want a little soup?
- No, thank you...
But have some, it'll do you good...
I'll never be able to have soup again...
I understand how you feel,
but we must speak...
Yes, as you wish...
Let's go to the living room.
- Your husband had enemies?
- I suppose so...
The poor man wasn't very agreeable...
Was he ever robbed in the taxi?
He was, last week.
- Did he report it?
- I think so.
Punks sometimes take revenge...
...but it's strange they came here.
People are so mean...
- Chief...
- Perhaps a clue...
Money...
We found this stick in there...
Sticks?
Grandma picks them up in the park...
Check it well.
I'm going to the toilet for a minute...
When she comes out, check everything...
- We already have, chief.
- Do it again, she's weird.
- This stick is clean.
- Leave it over there.
These drawers are locked.
- Break them open.
- Yes, Chief.
- Mineral water...
- From Catalonia!
- Cupcakes and lithium salt!
- Lithium salt.
That's Granny's...
She's addicted to sweets
and effervescents...
- Why does she lock them up?
- She's very tight...
- And where's Grandma?
- I don't know...
Perhaps at the movies with the kid...
Tell me, What were you doing
when it happened?
- And now what?
- Don't know...
- It's such a small house...
- And so strange...
I had just started a soup
and I had no bay leaf...
So I went to Juani's...
...my neighbor. I spent some time there...
...with her daughter and
my neighbor Cristal.
Where does your neighbour Cristal live?
Next door.
How long were you with them?
No. Some 20 minutes...
Juani had just beaten Vanessa...
Then...
...Cristal came down with me...
...and... when we got here...
...we found...
...we found him...
Did you hear anything? See anything?
Nothing, with the freeway right here...
...you don't hear anything.
- We've searched everywhere...
- Nothing.
What's that?
- Is the lizard Grandma's?
- She loves animals...
Take it away!
- Why did you kill it?
- It gave me the creeps.
- Our only witness!
- The lizard?
- It had met the murderer.
- When?
Stay here. I'll question the neighbours...
Throw it out, there's been
enough blood here...
I'm sorry, ma'am.
- Are you Cristal?
- Cristal Scott.
- Mind if I check your I.D.?
- You don't trust me?
I'll have to look for it, I don't know where...
It's not here...
Let's see, here you are.
- It says Carmen Martinez...
- I'm an actress...
Yeah, I can see that...
- To be talented is a crime?
- Depends.
Stand back, I'm going to close it.
A murder's been committed next door...
I found the body!
Tell me exactly what happened...
Will you sit down or shall
I show you round?
Ok, sit down.
Tell me what you've been
doing in the past hour?
I was at Juani's, trying on a dress...
As soon as we get home, we'll change...
But... what's this?
It's Money, Toni, and he's dead.
Bummer! He must have fallen off...
He's been killed!
- A drink?
- No...
I'll have one!
Was the cabbie one of your... admirers?
Him? He was Gloria's husband
and she's my friend...
What do you take me for?
- Where does Juani live?
- On the sixth floor.
- Don't move...
- Where would I go?
I'm not finished...
Well, I am!
It's just not right, it isn't...
...for someone to come and kill you!
I mean, look, a girl like me, living alone...
...with so many expensive objects...
You killed him! Murderer!
- What's up?
- The life of the house!
My mother in law.
We found the lizard in the street, it's dead...
- The lizard, too?
- What do you mean, too?
Cristal, take them...
...with you till this is over...
- You...
- Why? What happened?
Nothing happened.
Hi, beautiful!
- Are they Ingrid Mller?
- Of course not!
- She's not coming then...
- Antonio neither...
...I'll call
Ok, I'll write down the number.
- Do you have a pen?
- S
Thank you. Ok, yeah.
Excuse me, what does it say here?
That Ingrid Mller has committed suicide...
Ingrid Mller has committed suicide...
And Antonio's dead.
- But, why?
- Maybe for love...
- Poor things...
- Poor us!
- What luck! The deal's off!
- You're cursed!
- Here...
- Thanks...
Thanks, my a**! Gimme the dough!
And you wouldn't prefer... you know...
- The money.
- You sure are hard.
You got some cheek!
- How are you, Gran?
- What do you think?
Take it easy, Gran...
Yes, but I want to go to the village...
I don't want to be buried here,
like my poor son...
...and the lizard.
We'll go, Gran.
- Hi, Gloria.
- Hi, Cristal.
- I'm sorry, Gran...
- Thank you, Cristal.
Your friend the writer no longer needs me...
If you hear of anything...
Don't worry, I'll tell you.
Do you want me to lend you some money?
We'll manage...
I'm off, I've got a special job.
You're lucky!
Grandma and me are going to the village.
Wonderful!
I'll be rid of you all!
Come with us...
- You gotta be kidding...
- You wouldn't be alone...
As if you cared!
I do care.
What's all this about?
I'm going to paper the house, it's filthy.
Want a hand?
No, I don't. I want to do it alone and I will!
Gran, let's go get my money from the bank.
- What for?
- To get the bus tickets.
You mean it? You really mean it?
Let's go.
- Get the door, Toni.
- I'm going.
- And Gloria?
- In the kitchen.
What are you doing?
I found some cheap paper
to do the house over...
Don't know...
what's cheap turns out expensive...
Can you keep an eye on her?
- I don't trust her...
- All right, fine.
You better behave or I'll tie you up.
Look at your hair!
Let her be...
Thanks, see you later...
Want a comic? I'm pretty busy...
- I'll watch you...
- Well, you'll have fun.
I've got to clear all this and paper the walls.
- I can help you.
- No, you're too small...
I know how, look.
You've got powers!
Ever since I was little... Anything else?
Well... we could start with the kitchen...
I'll do it.
- My girlfriend...
- How do you do?
You're lucky to have a girlfriend...
It will be easier.
Impotence is caused by what we call...
...anxiety of execution.
- Of course.
Too much importance is given to coitus...
There are other ways to find pleasure...
Yes, many, many...
Accordingly, try to avoid an erection.
We will start with some
resensualization exercises...
- You've got... nice bodies...
- Thank you.
So play and enjoy them...
...but no erection and no penetration...
...and the anxiety will disappear.
Yeah... but if he gets...
Well, you understand me... if he...
Gets an erection? I don't think so.
Yes, but with what you've told us...
Well, he very well could...
In that case, it's up to you two.
- Thanks, Carmen.
- Thanks, nothing!
30 bucks and don't call
me Carmen, I'm Cristal!
To me, you're Carmen.
This is work!
And the exercises aren't included.
- What a surprise!
- Hi, Gloria...
- You here?
- We're working here...
Of course, you know Inspector Polo...
- How are you?
- We haven't given up...
...but nothing's clear...
Antonio's dead, the rest doesn't matter!
I always run into her,
the odd looks she gives me...
What the poor thing needs
is a nice big pipe.
If your plumbing worked,
you could give her a hand...
You haven't told her about us, have you?
Of course not. It's a professional secret...
Take off your clothes.
- You do it for me...
- You've got some cheek...
Couldn't you put on another record?
I must learn English...
How am I going to manage in Las Vegas?
What will you do there?
Become a star.
What do you think, with a body like mine!
Speaking of that,
let's check you out, cookie...
- And you, too...
- Me! How dare you!
"High quality"...
Touch me through my clothes, it's sexier...
You got a nice bod... God.
A policeman must have a nice build...
I like it that way.
- Do you like it?
- Well, yes...
...it's okay.
- Don't charge me, then.
- You a pimp or what?
If you don't charge me,
I won't mention the heroin...
- What heroin?
- In the Chinese box.
Can't you stop poking about?
You won't ever get cured like this...
It excites me more if you don't charge me...
I take it to lose weight...
Heroin cuts your appetite,
if you didn't know...
But you look fine...
You want me to look like a sow...
Flatterer! You're a flatterer!
Such a silly d*ck!
- It's burgeoning...
- Better than nothing.
I like it, but it makes me nervous,
like the psychiatrist said...
- Forget him!
- Forget the heroin!
You are a heroine.
What are you doing?
I'm letting off steam!
There are more normal ways to do it...
For me, they're no good!
How's the case going?
No one knows anything, seen anything...
A tough nut to crack.
I see you a lot with Cristal...
You don't think she did it, do you?
- Why do you ask me that?
- She knows nothing...
I'm the one who killed my husband!
With a ham bone!
Like that!
Don't go shouting it from the rooftops!
- It's dangerous...
- I don't give a damn!
Go get some seats...
I'll be right there...
Get me a window seat!
- Blasa!
- Paquita!
- You here!
- How are you?
- I'm going to the village.
- You are?
- Yes.
- Me, too. I learned about your poor son...
- I'm really, truly sorry...
- Thank you.
By the way, who's died in the village lately?
All the old ones are dying...
Better for the old ones to die...
...than the young ones.
Poor Torrezno hung himself...
- He didn't wait for the Lord's call.
- What a tragedy!
His wife, 8 days later, from sorrow...
- My God!
- You can't imagine...
And the cold, terrible...
It's a good thing you're collecting firewood.
Where's Gran gone to?
No more No-Doze! They're bad for you.
Not one since your dad died,
and I feel worse...
Cold turkey is a bummer, it'll pass.
- You think so?
- Yeah.
Here, for you...
But... where did you get it from?
- My savings...
- How little I know you...
You'll go to school in the village?
No, I'll work the land.
The sacrifices we did
to give you an education!
I'll write, okay?
- Don't forget, I am your mother...
- Don't worry.
- Bye, Gloria.
- Bye, Grandma.
- Gloria, goodbye.
- Mrs. Paquita.
- Take care of yourself...
- I will...
- You look awful.
- Thank you.
And no more pills!
Hi, mom! I know about Dad...
- How did it happen?
- In the kitchen...
He fell against the sink and broke his neck...
I didn't tell you, so as not to make you sad...
I'm here to stay. This house needs a man.
What about the doctor?
At first, it was fun...
But I'm too young to tie
myself down with anyone...
Toni told me they were
going to the village...
They've left.
Did dad miss me?
He worked so hard...
...he didn't realize you were gone...
But I missed you a lot...
I'm so glad you're back.