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Shall We Dance (2004)

A million and a half people

ride the El trains every day.

Over 20 years. l've written wills

for about 8.000 of 'em.

l've sat with 'em

as they've combed through their assets.

figured out which kid

gets the painting over the fireplace.

which one gets

the antique spoon collection.

Last thanks. parting shots. confessions...

People try to fit it all in.

And once l've finished.

another life has been summed up -

assets and debts tallied.

then zeroed out.

You initial here and there.

you sign at the bottom.

Then. if you're like most clients.

you look up. smile.

and you ask the question

l've heard for 20 years: ''ls that it. then?''

''That's it for the paperwork.'' l tell 'em.

''The rest is up to you.''

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday. dear Dad

Happy birthday to you

Wow. Beautiful.

All right. make a wish.

Sorry. l just have to take this call.

- Did you win?

- ''Take this call''?

- She's 1 4. How can she be ''taking calls''?

- Jen. not now. Now's not the time.

Remind me. why was it we agreed

to give her the phone?

- Emergencies.

- Which this is. by the way.

Serious problem over there.

Get off. Jen. Now. please. Come on.

- All right.

- Come on. get off.

Yeah. my dad's just gonna blow out

about a million candles. Bye.

All right. everyone.

are we all happy now?

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you.

- Sorry about the bathrobe.

- What do you mean?

l just had such a hard time

getting you a present.

l love this bathrobe.

l think the problem is

that you never really want anything.

- That's not true.

- That's true.

- Tell me one thing that you really want.

- What you gave me tonight.

Evan coming home. everyone's at dinner.

that cake you make...

Tell me one thing that you want

that comes in a box.

l rest my case.

Yes. That's it. That's it.

That's what we needed.

Good night. Mary.

l left the Anderson will on your desk.

Night. Bill.

Next stop. Sedgwick.

Hello. l'm home.

There's a female bonding ritual

going on in the den.

- l know.

- What are they doing in there?

Tattooing ''l love Satan'' on their foreheads.

piercing their bellybuttons. stuff like that.

- Great. What did you say about that?

- l said. ''Don't get any blood on the couch.''

l worry about Jenna. She's too beautiful.

That's your fault.

- Here. sign this.

- What is it?

- lt's your mom's birthday card.

- Oh. God. thank you.

- How was your workout?

- Same. How are you?

Fine. You know. ordering the spring line

at the store. yada-yada.

- l've got to get going.

- l thought you just got here.

Yeah. but it's the fundraiser

at Jen's school.

So your dinner's in the oven

and the girls have already eaten.

Can we go see a movie sometime?

Yeah. Or at least we could

look at the ads in the paper together.

How are you doing?

Fine.

Check on them now and then. OK?

Don't wait up.

Get out of here. Dad.

Bev? lt's not true

that l don't want anything.

Bev?

Doors open on the right.

- Doors closing. Next stop. Sedgwick.

- Excuse me.

Oh. my God. What are you doing?

What are you doing?

You know what? l'm gonna just go up.

Oh. my God.

That was a great class.

Come on.

- Are we goin' up. or what?

- l'm just trying to...

Here.

- OK. don't do that.

- Do what?

Stand there looking dumb.

lt's just not cute in a guy your age.

Be a doll and help me carry my clothes.

Come on. And stop lookin' at my a**.

l'll try.

T-A-N-G-O...

T-A-N-G-O...

T-A-N-G...

l found him at the bottom of the stairs.

Paulina. could you help?

Excuse me.

May l help you?

The sign said ''Feel free to watch.''

Are you here for lessons?

Yes.

- Mr...?

- Clark.

Are you registering

as a couple or as a single?

Single. l mean. not that l'm...

Single. Yeah. just me.

Single privates are $45 an hour. lf you buy

six at a time. the price per class drops $5.

- Have you ever danced before?

- No. No. But l'm a fast learner.

We're starting a new intro ballroom series

for singles.

l recommend that beginners start with that.

There's still room in the class.

lt meets every Wednesday at 7.30.

for eight weeks.

All right.

Right. Wednesdays. 7.30. Great.

Great. Well...

- l'll come back then. Thank you.

- Mr Clark?

Where are you going?

The class starts tonight.

Tonight?

Right. yeah. Wednesday. 7.30.

You can wait over there.

We'll begin shortly.

OK...

Hey. l'm Vern.

John.

- You beginning ballroom?

- Yeah. looks that way. Yeah.

- Chic. Hey.

- Hey.

So. you dance much?

High-school prom. ''Stairway to Heaven.''

- You?

- Not even a prom. l didn't go.

Anybody see any girls?

l mean. l'm here for the babes. right.

l mean. it can't be just us. can it?

Guys dancin' with guys ain't my kinda

thing. you know? No offence. sir.

None taken.

Hi.

See the slinky one with the eyebrows?

That's me - if you don't mind.

l know you won't mind.

- Be my guest.

- All right.

Work the goods.

Yeah. Here they come.

Come to Papa.

Here they...

Ouch.

Memories of high school. huh. boys?

Good evening. gentlemen. and

welcome to the beginner's ballroom class.

My name is Miss Mitzi. l am the owner

of this dancing establishment.

and l am going to be your teacher.

Disappointed that l'm older?

Yes. l mean. no. l mean...

You look experienced.

Forward. side. closed...

Back. side. close.

Very good. Chic.

ls it ''Chick''. or ''Sheek''?

- Whoa. ''Chick.''

- ''Chick.''

- Yes. Very good.

- Easy.

Remember to use the balls of your feet.

Wait a minute. Vern.

Where is your right foot?

- lt's right back there. See?

- Yes. l know. lt hasn't moved. has it?

Not yet.

- Well. now would be a good time.

- OK.

- OK? Close.

- Close...

Excellent. Very good.

All right. Forward. side. close.

Back. side. close.

One. two. three. rise.

- What's up?

- You guys saw that?

Excellent. gentlemen. Excellent.

Keep your sticks up. Promenade.

- And...

- Counter-promenade.

Let me see what you're doing.

- Miss Mitzi. l'm sorry. Sorry.

- God. Jesus.

- l said l'm sorry.

- Put the stick down.

We're not gonna play with these sticks

any more if you boys won't behave.

A little faster this time. And...

Heel. toe. toe-toe. toe. heel. toe-toe.

Excuse me. When we go forward.

is it heel-toe or toe...

lt's forward. heel. toe. toe-...

So it's back... Whoa...

Harder than it looks. isn't it. gentlemen?

Well. you've all done very very well

for your first lesson.

And before you leave tonight.

l'm gonna give you a little incentive

to keep on dancing.

Paulina?

Would you and Francesco mind giving

our new students a little demonstration?

Certainly. Miss Mitzi.

Daphne?

Thank you. Paulina.

That was beautiful.

- You all right?

- Yeah. l'm good.

Guys. wait up. l'm comin'.

- Great. How lucky for us.

- Where are we goin'?

- Somewhere close.

- Yeah. l haven't got long.

Anyway. you guys. don't go to Jim's.

They got a bad roach problem

there around the corner.

You're gonna go anywhere after class.

you come here. OK? Thank you.

Why'd you guys decide to take dance.

anyway?

- l'm gettin' married in September.

- Nice.

Yeah. My bride said

she'd like to see me lose a few pounds.

She thinks the dancing will help.

l said it won't.

- l think you'll win that argument.

- l'm taking classes to impress the ladies.

You know what they say

about guys who can dance. right?

- That they're great in bed.

- Yeah. baby.

- Where do you get that stupid crap?

- Everywhere. What do you think?

Everybody knows a guy who can move

on the dance floor can move in the sack.

Most guys. they can't dance at all. Guys

who can. they get their pick of the litter.

That's why. when l'm done with this class.

babes will drop at my feet.

They're gonna be droppin' dead

at your feet.

When you took your shoes off in class

today. l had to run to the window for air.

What kind of person says something like

that to somebody they don't even know?

Man. l'm doin' you a favour.

l'm telling you something obnoxious about

yourself that you might not be aware of.

lf there's something obnoxious about me

that you don't think l'm aware of.

y'all should feel free

to say something about it to me.

Shooting fish in a barrel.

- Where are all the ladies. anyways?

- l don't know what l'm talking about.

The ladies. they all go and take the classes

down at Doctor Dance -

that's. like. the hip place to go downtown.

Ditzy Mitzi's is only hangin' on by a thread.

Only reason l go there is she lets me

rehearse whenever l want for free.

l'm gonna compete

in the Chicago Taittinger Trophy.

Soon as l find a partner.

So. that leaves you.

Leaves me? How? What?

Leaves you as the only one here

who hasn't said why he's dancing yet.

Well. l'm dancing for exercise.

like Vern.

Bull.

Because l'm lousy in bed. like Chic.

There. l've said it.

- That is bull. l didn't say l was bad in bed.

- You didn't have to.

Come on. why?

ls there any pepper here?

Could l have some?

That's what l thought.

She was a Blackpool finalist. you know.

Who?

The princess. The other teacher. Paulina.

What's Blackpool?

Every year. all the best dancers

from all over the world

go to England to compete there.

She was there last year with her partner -

who they say was much more to her

than just her partner.

Anyway. he dumped her. That's the only

reason she came back here to teach -

mad at the world.

boo-hoo-hoo and all that.

- Why'd he dump her?

- Yeah.

How the hell should l know?

God. they say women gossip. Golly.

Hello? l'm home.

Great. Great. Vern.

Slow. The mambo is slow.

Slide that hand

one inch south of the equator

and l will bust you on your a**.

twinkle-toes.

Let's get something straight. l don't like

the tropics any more than you do. OK?

Five. six. seven. eight...

Arms. And basic.

And cross over.

Right.

One more time. and walk around.

- And basic.

- Watch out.

And big ending.

Look at you. John.

- That was pretty good.

- You were really good.

l'm sorry l'm late.

l'm gonna go up and change.

Right.

- Dad work late tonight?

- Yeah. looks that way.

Guess whatever he's working on.

he must like it.

- Why do you say that?

- He seems happier lately.

Does he?

l called the Halston people in New York.

We're gonna have trouble getting more

stock in. Everything's on back-order.

Look. Carolyn. l'm gonna need you

to go to New York and sweet-talk them.

- Can you leave tomorrow?

- No.

Why not?

My husband is having an affair.

How do you know that?

l picked up the receiver last night

to phone a friend.

not knowing that Greg was already

on the other line in the den.

He was whispering.

What was he whispering?

l don't know.

l was so scared l hung up

before l could hear anything.

Well. there's lots of other reasons

why he could be whispering.

l mean. maybe he didn't wanna

wake up the kids. Huh?

Or he could be planning a surprise for you.

l mean. your birthday's coming up. isn't it?

ln two weeks.

That's it.

Take a breath. go get yourself a brownie

in the kitchen. just chill. lt's gonna be fine.

OK.

You silly goose. you.

She'll be divorced by Easter.

Come on. John. Join the warm-up.

- Jesus. l'm sorry.

- Watch your floorcraft. spasmo.

What. you think you own this floor? l'll

have a bruise the size of Texas tomorrow.

- Go away.

- Go away? You go away.

Take your stupid music with you.

l can't dance to that crap.

You just gonna stand there

and let that fat cow insult you?

- l'm sorry. what did you say?

- Nothing. She didn't say anything.

Sorry. These are the teeth

l wear for the Latin.

lt gets your smile out there.

Just a little bit bigger smile.

Bam. Gets the judges right in the eye.

catches the light.

And then the make-up -

you know the make-up.

''Swish-butt''. ''Fancy pants''. ''Pinky boy''...

All these names. all these names l've been

called ever since l was eight years old

and dancing around

to my mother's rumba records.

You know what the worst of it is? Huh?

l'm not gay. Can you imagine how much

easier my life would be if l were?

l mean. a straight man

who likes to dance around in sequins

walks a very lonely road.

l got news for you.

Look. you're not gonna

tell anybody in the office. are you?

No. no. no. l wouldn't do that.

Look. l'm in the same boat. aren't l?

No. you're not. You're not.

- Why not?

- Because people like you.

You know what l mean? You're charming.

l'm Linky Link. They would crucify me

if they found out.

l'm the sports trivia king.

l'm the super sports fan. you know?

- You don't like football?

- l... You know.

Run three yards. fall down. pile up.

Run three yards. fall down. pile up.

l mean. you know. four months of that.

l'm ready to put a gun to my head.

- Fooled me.

- l know. l fooled everybody.

You know what my dream is?

What?

My dream is to be able to dance

free and proud.

Under my own name.

For all the world to see.

That's my dream.

Did l get it all?

Andy. it's Bev.

Look. l'm sorry to call you so late.

l was just trying to find John.

Called the office at six and Betsy said

that he'd left for the day. and l was just...

You got home by five?

How did you manage that. you lucky dog?

There's the door.

OK. See you. Bye.

Sorry l'm late. l got hung up at the office.

l wish you'd call. cos we were looking

all over for your car keys forever...

- l thought you were shopping with Jenna.

- That was weeks ago.

l called the office

and Betsy said you left for the day at six.

Yeah. l did - for a sandwich.

Then l came back.

Well. l called your private line a few times.

nobody picked up.

That's because l wasn't working

in my office. l was in Andy's.

How is Andy?

We're working

on a really big estate plan together.

- So he was there?

- What?

Was Andy there?

Why are you asking me

all these questions?

l don't know.

Anyway. l stopped off for a bite

on the way home with Link Peterson.

Remember him? lnteresting guy.

Not what you'd think.

- How was your day?

- Great.

One. two. three. four...

One. two. three...

Mom?

Dad's acting weird.

They met five years ago

in a chat room for gardeners.

He says they're in love.

He's moving out Saturday.

He'll be back. He loves those kids.

l thought we were happy.

He seemed happy to me.

l didn't know anything.

l didn't know.

Hi.

l give free consultations

during my lunch hour.

You sure you don't wanna come in?

So he comes home late on Wednesdays.

and when he comes home

his shirts smell like perfume.

He's been seen making strange body

movements and you feel he has a secret.

- That's correct.

- Ever think about just asking him?

- Yes. l've thought about it...

- Mrs. Clark...

things happen in long marriages.

To the best of people.

And sometimes the thing that happens

doesn't mean anything.

Doesn't need an investigator. just needs

somebody to look the other way for a while.

My husband is a serious man. Mr Devine.

lf he's having an affair. it is not casual.

ln which case.

the sooner l know. the better.

All right. Give me a moment

while l call in my associate. Mr Harcourt.

Scottie.

Scottie Harcourt. this is Mrs. Clark.

She suspects

her husband's up to no good.

''To catch a husband is an art.

To hold him is a job.''

Simone de Beauvoir said that.

lt's very nice to meet you. Mrs. Clark.

Same here.

l think we can start this investigation

without too much cost to Mrs. Clark.

Yes. Follow that husband around for a few

days. take some pictures. see what's up.

But l have to warn you.

if it goes to trial it's gonna be...

Trial?

ln the event of a divorce.

But we don't know if he's having an affair.

l mean. he could just be involved with.

l don't know.

people who get together to invest things.

and the place that they invest things

is filled with potpourri.

and that's why his shirts smell so sweet

when he comes home. lt's possible.

Yeah. it's possible. lt's possible.

lt's possible we could find your husband

neck-deep in potpourri. investing things.

Not likely.

Look. this is what we'll do.

We start out gently.

We look for the potpourri.

And if we find it. and it smells like flowers.

then 2.000 ought to cover my time.

But if we find the potpourri and there's

something big and stinky in the pot.

then you and l renegotiate. OK?

That sound good?

OK.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- How you doin'?

- Good.

- l can tell. you know.

- Tell what?

That you've been dancing.

Your posture. it's a dead giveaway.

- You're kidding.

- No.

- How much you been practising. anyway?

- Just in class.

No. Should be five to one.

Five-to-one ratio.

Five hours of practice

for every one hour of class.

Doctor Dance has an open dance party

every Thursday.

Anybody can go and practice.

Even you.

Ballroom is all or nothing. John.

l'm draggin' your a** out of class

and onto a real dance floor.

We'll go straight there after work.

- Link?

- Yeah?

Can you really tell?

Yeah.

Having fun?

- What are you doing here?

- Spying.

Excuse me. we were dancing together.

Dude. she does not wanna dance with you.

Now back off.

You know. l...

Link always insists

on dancing with the youngest girls.

l've never seen him with his perfect

partner. Not that those are easy to find.

Have you ever found one?

Once. He was my dancing partner

for 1 5 years.

- We were husband and wife for 1 4.

- Wow.

Yeah. He was my perfect partner.

Doesn't happen twice in a lifetime.

l'm lucky it even happened once.

At last. a song l know.

l love this song.

Shall wwe still be together

With our arms around each other

And shall you be my neww romance?

On the clear understanding

that this kind of thing can happen

Shall wwe dance. shall wwe dance.

shall wwe dance?

lt's The king and i. Yul Brynner

and Deborah Kerr. Do you remember that?

They held hands like this.

Come on. John. let's try it.

- No. No. no. no. l can't. No way. l can't.

- Why not?

- John. come on. Come on.

- l don't... No. l don't want to...

Let go. John.

That's it. John.

Whoa.

- Sorry. l wasn't watching.

- Hi. How are you?

- lt doesn't matter. We're finished anyway.

- What do you mean?

No offence.

but l can't be your dance partner.

- Why?

- You're too much of a freak.

l mean. look at your palms. They're

bright orange from self-tanning lotion.

Don't you know you're supposed to wash

your hands after you use that stuff?

Excuse me.

Miss Mitzi couldn't make it tonight.

so l'll be your teacher.

l'm Paulina.

And you're Chic and Vern and...

- Tom.

- John. lt's John.

What would you like to work on tonight?

Well. in my opinion - Chic - l think since

we're beginners. a good idea would be...

Waltz.

Maybe the waltz.

OK.

l'll work with you one at a time

and you can be first.

OK. All right.

l'm sorry.

So are you really

a reporter for The Times.

or are you just pickin' up on her.

like everybody else?

l'm a reporter.

Plus. she's not my type.

l like a woman built for comfort.

not for speed.

Really? Why don't you put the camera

down and take me out on the dance floor?

Two reasons: l'm working

and this is not my type of dance.

Well. how do you know

if you've never tried?

Come on. put the camera down.

Come on. give me a shot.

Oh. dear.

Sorry. sorry.

- l'm sorry.

- lt's gonna stain.

Don't worry. l'll take care of it.

- Would you like to use this?

- Excuse me?

Just to wipe your coat. or...

Go ahead. just take it.

Please. Go ahead.

- lt's silly. but it's my favourite coat.

- l'm sorry.

lt's vintage.

But this part's real suede.

so now it's ruined.

You sure? Maybe they can fix that.

No. l know about stains. lt's...

You know. l never understood that.

l never understood -

live cows get dirty all the time.

they don't get stained.

All that leather stands in the mud.

nothing happens. Go figure. What is that?

Exactly.

Get a little sauce on your coat and look.

- Why is that?

- l don't know.

We'll have to ask the next cow

that comes by.

A man with a handkerchief. Wow.

l didn't know they made those any more.

l haven't eaten yet. lf you haven't eaten yet.

maybe we can go and get a bite.

Someplace close.

You know. l saw a Chinese over here.

We could use chopsticks and drop

an endless variety of things on our clothes.

l'm sorry.

l prefer not to socialise with students.

OK. All right.

l shouldn't have taken this from you.

l'll buy you a new one.

Please. l didn't mean anything by that.

l'll buy you a new one.

Excuse me.

Mr Clark. l take dance very seriously.

Miss Mitzi's is a school. not a disco.

And l hope you didn't join class

with me as your goal.

because you'd be wasting your time.

Don't dance if that's what you're after.

Dance lessons?

My husband is taking dance lessons?

Well. l've found a lot worse

hiding in the potpourri over the years.

Consider yourself lucky.

What's this beautiful young woman?

Who's she?

His substitute teacher.

His regular teacher's a much older woman.

Great legs. but older.

Mr Devine. what would make a man who's

done the same thing for the last 20 years

suddenly do something so completely

out of character just out of the blue?

That's a question for a shrink.

l'm just a detective.

l'm not asking you as a detective.

l'm asking you as a man.

Scottie?

What would cause a man after 20 years

to do something completely

out of character out of the blue?

- Did l get that right?

- Yeah.

''The mass of men

lead lives of quiet desperation.''

Maybe the desperation

can't be quiet any more.

Bingo.

That's a wonderful use of Thoreau. Scottie.

Thank you. Hello again. Mrs. Clark.

Hey.

- Desperation.

- Well. that's a possibility.

Mrs. Clark. the point is

your husband's dancing.

he's not checking into hotel rooms.

We can continue

to keep an eye on things for you.

but my guess is your husband will hang up

his dancing shoes shortly anyway.

- What makes you say that?

- Voice of experience.

You give him some time.

He'll be home soon.

''The rest is up to you.'' l tell my clients.

''The rest is up to you.''

Every few years they come back.

so l have these snapshots in my head

of how they've changed over the years.

The ones who've changed the most finally

bought that boat. moved to that island.

Those who haven't changed.

l suppose they take comfort

in knowing what course their lives are on.

They like to believe

they know what lies ahead.

s**t.

Dad.

Evan. What are you doing here?

Trying to meet up with some friends.

What are you doing here?

Well. you know. work...

l had to come to visit a client over here.

l had to come by and...

- lt's really weird.

- lt is?

Yeah. Because l've been wanting you

to meet this girl that l'm crazy about.

and l'm going to meet her right now

at this bar with my other friends.

So can you... Do you wanna go?

Of course l do.

Lead on. my son.

Come on. let's get out there.

So. does your dad wanna dance?

l don't know. Dad. you haven't danced

in. what. 90 years?

You two go. Go.

lt's been a long day for me.

Mr Clark?

Mr Clark?

Do you wanna dance?

Yes. Yes. l do.

OK.

Could you say goodbye to Evan for me?

Thank you.

Sure.

- Sorry l'm late.

- Don't let it happen again.

Join the warm-up. John.

Come on.

Christ. Vern.

You're soaking wet. man.

l already had a shower today.

- Sorry.

- You're disgusting.

You don't have to put it like that.

Why not? lt's the truth.

And l prefer to tell the truth.

unlike some people who make up stories

about nonexistent fiancees.

What are you talking about?

He's getting married in the fall.

Come on. What. are ya dumb?

People who are engaged take the classes

together. or what the hell's the point?

Come on. tell the people the truth.

You're not engaged. are you?

Not exactly.

- l haven't asked her quite yet.

- Thank you very much.

Look. l was gonna lose some weight first.

and then l was gonna take her dancing

somewhere romantic.

And then maybe pop the question.

But l guess if l'm sweating all over the

place. that wouldn't be too romantic. huh?

She's a great dancer.

Well. don't listen to me.

What. are you...

C'mon. don't be a big baby. l didn't mean

to upset you or anything. Jesus. Vern.

l said l was sorry.

Bobbie.

Somebody call a doctor.

Are you all right? She's out.

lt's her electrolytes. They get crazy

because she overworks herself.

She's been in here twice before.

And it's getting so boring. Mom.

- Shut up. Tina.

- No. you shut up. God. she pisses me off.

She pulls a 1 2-hour shift at Jimmy's Diner.

working five till five.

and then she goes and cooks and cleans

for an old feeb in a wheelchair

to earn extra money

for her crazy costumes.

And then she plays Cinderella

every night at dance practice.

- When you should be home. resting.

- l don't need rest.

Right. You need to hang out and flirt with

the shy guy with the nice-smelling sweat.

- She told me all about you.

- Shut up. Tina.

l never said his sweat smells nice.

l never said...

She said it was the best-smelling sweat

she'd ever smelled.

OK. kill me now.

lt's all right. Bobbie. l've smelled his sweat

and l agree. it's not bad.

Well. l mean. it's no field of flowers

after a spring rain...

Yeah. l think we've talked

about this enough.

Maybe we should all go home now

and let Bobbie get some rest.

- Yeah.

- Bye. sweetheart.

Thank you. Thank you.

Bobbie needs a partner for the competition.

Why not you. John?

Me? Competition? No. no. l can't...

She'd never go for it anyway. Forget it.

Why not? What are you talking about?

You heard her daughter - she likes you.

And dance begins

with the dancers' feelings.

l'll work with the both of you after class.

Two extra hours.

The Miss Mitzi Special.

We've got three months.

This is good.

What do you think?

l think you better stock up on deodorant.

Anything a client says

in a lawyer's office is confidential.

So l've gotten used

to holding onto secrets.

They're usually nothing incriminating.

but a lot of people have accounts

they haven't reconciled -

things they're just not ready to share.

l took the liberty of ordering for you.

Bombay Sapphire. three limes.

l hired you to watch my husband.

You're not supposed to be watching me.

lt's very hard not to. Mrs. Clark -

with all due respect.

- Are you a married man. Mr Devine?

- l was.

- What happened?

- Unfaithful.

- She hired a detective?

- No. no. no.

When she found out.

l was too far gone. so...

You're smiling at me.

You are on a strange journey

to redemption. Mr Devine.

And a very long one. Mrs. Clark.

All these promises

that we make and we break.

Why is it. do you think.

that people get married?

- Passion.

- No.

That's interesting. Because l would've

taken you for a romantic. Why. then?

Because we need a witness to our lives.

There's a billion people on the planet. l

mean. what does any one life really mean?

But in a marriage. you're promising

to care about everything -

the good things. the bad things.

the terrible things. the mundane things...

All of it. All the time. every day.

You're saying. ''Your life will not

go unnoticed. because l will notice it.''

''Your life will not go unwitnessed.

because l will be your witness.''

You can quote me on that. if you like.

l'm sure l will.

Anyway. the reason

that l called you here today.

to tell you in person that l won't

be needing your services any more.

l think to continue

would be an unwarranted invasion

of my husband's privacy and...

Anyway. even though there was a reason...

l'm sorry for what l've done

and l know enough now and...

it's time to stop.

Thank you for everything and goodbye.

Bye.

Mrs. Clark?

l was right. You are a romantic.

Bobbie.

- A new costume.

- Yeah.

l got it from this mermaid dream

l had in the hospital.

Just floated up from my subconscious.

Where. tragically. it did not stay.

Come on. partner.

What are you waiting for?

Divine intervention?

You're a brave man. John Clark. Not

just anyone could take on the Bobbinator.

Yeah.

Good luck. man. We're with you.

Somebody help me up. Please?

John.

OK. 55 days from today you two

are gonna win the novice competition.

That means you're gonna

have to master five dances.

l've asked Paulina

to videotape you tonight.

so you can see what you're doing wrong.

Let's start with a rumba.

What? What is it?

lt's the rumba.

lt's the dance of love.

And he's just not giving me anything.

What does she want me to do?

l'm doing it exactly the way l was taught.

You think it's easy...?

The rumba is a vertical expression

of a horizontal wish.

You have to hold her like the skin

on her thigh is your reason for living.

Let her go like your heart's

being ripped from your chest.

Pull her back like you're gonna have your

way with her. right here on the dance floor.

And then finish...

like she's ruined you for life.

See? Why can't you just do it like that?

Anyone else care for a glass of water?

Damn it.

No. not you.

Look. l have to call you back.

No. he's not home yet.

What was the score at half-time

in the NBA playoffs last night?

Why?

Why? You said you watched.

What was the score?

- l forget now.

- You didn't forget. You didn't watch.

You don't care about playoffs.

You care about dancing.

l do not.

Yeah? Then what's this?

Give me that. No.

Give me that. Give me...

lt's not even mine. lt's my mother's.

At least. it was my mother's until l took it

to this wonderful alterations guy

who had it tailored for me.

Look. it's not like l've figured this out either.

- Listen...

- What?

- Come back to class.

- No.

You could take over as Bobbie's partner

in the Latin dances.

You've got those knocked already.

There's no way l could learn 'em in time.

l'm not comin' back

as the Bobbinator's partner.

We'll look like an olive

and a toothpick together.

Besides. she would never dance with me.

Sure she would.

Just the Latin dances.

l'll still do the waltz and the quickstep.

She would.

No.

Not if he was the last bald. bad-breathed.

heterosexual sequin-freak on earth -

which he probably is.

l'm not doin' it.

You wanna win the Latin competition

or not? lt's up to you. l don't care.

Link already knows the dances.

And he'll be a good competitor.

Right. Link?

So. finally giving up

on the underage bimbettes

and gonna go for a real woman?

ls that it?

Yeah. no more underage bimbettes for me.

Only real women from now on.

Don't even think about coming near me

without a breath mint. You got that?

And quit lookin' at my a**.

We'll try.

Vern. you know.

there's a joyful freedom in your Latin.

And Chic. you have an innate sensuality

quite uncommon in a man.

l've entered you both in the competition

along with John.

Good. That's settled.

You are the frame.

l'm the frame.

- She is the picture...

- She is the picture...

..in your frame.

Everything that you do

is to show her off.

- You got that?

- l didn't hear that.

Nice. lnvite the lady in.

And make the connection.

Projecting to the third balcony.

91 1 . 91 1 . quick.

Quick. 91 1 . 9...

And start here

with an initial sweep past the crowd.

Watch.

And contra-check.

Excellent.

Jesus.

We wanted something unusual.

- Are you OK?

- Yeah.

- You sure?

- No. l'm good.

But you guys look exhausted.

l tell you what. why don't we call it a night?

For your sake. John.

You look like you're toast.

- And tomorrow's a big day.

- Yeah.

- Get home safe.

- OK.

- l'm wearing you guys out.

- No. No. no. no.

lt's good. l like it when my feet hurt.

Takes my mind off my knees.

l've just been getting carried away. you

know. working hard with the two of you.

l guess l like it. Feels good. you know?

For me too.

All right. Well. l'm going home.

Wait.

l wanted to talk to you about that night

that you asked me to dinner.

l'm sorry about how l treated you.

lt's just. you know. that people

get the wrong idea about me all the time.

Paulina. you don't have to explain

anything to me. ever.

Well. l know l don't have to explain

anything to anybody

because l don't care

what people think about me.

Good. Good.

- l mean it.

- Yeah. Good. Good.

l'm sorry. l shouldn't be here right now.

No. it's OK.

l think l'm just hungry or something.

- Hungry?

- Very.

- This is so stupid.

- No.

No. not at all. No. no.

l cry too when l'm hungry.

For French fries. usually. You?

Cake.

Careful. Don't spill it on your new coat.

- Old coat. new colour. l had it dyed.

- Yeah?

Yeah. my dad did it. He's a dry-cleaner.

As is my mom. my brother.

my two older sisters and me.

l told you l know about stains.

- You're a dry-cleaner?

- Well. l was. Until l was eight.

Actually. that's when l started dancing.

l was helping out in the store

one day after school

when my mom asked me

to go in the back and get an order.

lt was this incredibly delicate sequinned

thing. held together by a gold thread.

Well. l carried the costume

like it was gonna break.

And then l saw the customer.

She was the most beautiful woman

l had ever laid eyes on.

She invited us to see her dance that night.

and my mother said yes.

lt was like the whole world had suddenly

gone from black-and-white to colour.

The beautiful woman and her partner

stopped right in front of us

and did a waltz pose.

She tilted her head back

and she winked at me.

And l felt like she was trying

to tell me something.

l took it as a sign.

And from then on. l knew

that ballroom dancing would be my life.

lt wasn't the kind of dream

my parents had in mind.

What made you wanna dance?

You.

Looking out that window. right up there.

You can see it from the train and...

every night l'd come home from work

and l'd look for you. your face.

You looked on the outside

the way l was feeling on the inside.

l was watching you too.

From the window

l saw you practising on the platform.

No.

That night l said all those things to you.

l didn't think l'd ever see you again.

But you kept coming back.

l didn't want to.

But l figured if l hadn't. you'd have been

right about everything you accused me of.

Then l started dancing and l found

l really liked it. lt made me happy.

Yes. it shows.

l mean. l feel excited about something

for the first time in such a long time.

- Aren't you?

- Excited?

About tomorrow. The competition.

No. no. no. l'm petrified. l'm...

l'm gonna forget everything. l won't be able

to put one foot in front of the other.

- l'll make a mess of the whole thing.

- No.

Give me one hour.

Leave it. Leave the light.

Don't say anything and don't think.

And don't move unless you feel it.

Be this alive.

Be this alive tomorrow.

Thank you.

God. l'm sorry.

l'm sorry. l lost my balance.

That's OK. l lost my fiance.

Lisa. Lisa.

- There you are.

- Found the earring.

John Clark. Photo op. Come on.

Smile. everyone.

Paso doble.

- Good luck. everybody.

- Good luck.

- Hey.

- Yeah.

So what did l tell you?

Girls love guys who can dance. right?

Even l got a partner. Check it out.

Cute.

- But who's the guy?

- That's her brother.

Yeah. we play basketball together.

Aren't they adorable?

They're gonna get slaughtered.

Don't say that.

Mr Clark.

John?

You look blue. Breathe.

Thanks.

Ladies and gentlemen. good evening.

The Chicago Taittinger Trophy

Latin competition will now begin.

Judges. this is a semifinal round

with 1 1 couples on the floor.

And now. ladies and gentlemen.

your first dance is the cha-cha.

Music. please.

Nice chasse. Vern.

Whoa.

Let's hear it for the cha-cha.

ladies and gentlemen.

Who's your favourite couple out there?

Let them hear their numbers.

We danced like s**t.

All you did was worry about that stupid wig.

Well. what did you expect me to do?

You saw...

l know. he's a pig.

But you know what? This is Latin.

The judges are looking at your hips.

not your hair.

So unless that thing

looks good on your a**. lose it.

Fine.

We love you. baldy.

Thank you. dancers.

Please take your positions for your second

and final dance of this competition.

the paso doble.

Music. please.

Looks like he got rid

of a lot more than the wig.

Ladies and gentlemen. l have

the final results for the Latin competition.

Your finalists are couple 1 02...

We did it. Lisa. we did it. we did it.

Couple 1 04.

- Oh. my God. Oh. my God.

- Couple 1 06.

Couple 1 09.

Couple 1 1 0.

And couple 1 05...

has been disqualified.

What?

l thought Slick Willy was pretty good.

Bad attitude. Ungentlemanly behaviour.

lt's a British sport. after all.

- The man was working it.

- Well...

lmmediately following.

the standard competition.

Ladies and gentlemen.

the Chicago Taittinger Trophy

standard competition will now begin.

Judges. this is a semifinal round

with ten couples on the floor.

They'll be dancing the waltz

and the quickstep.

Now. ladies and gentlemen.

let's bring our dancers out

with a nice big round of applause.

Couples 1 1 5...

Couple 1 1 6.

Couple number 1 1 7.

Couple number 1 1 8.

Couple number 1 1 9.

Couple 1 20.

Couple 1 21 ...

Wow.

Come on. come on. we're gonna be late.

You're not gonna

choke on me. are you?

l think my feet are asleep.

l don't remember anything...

Don't worry. You're great.

You look beautiful.

And finally. couple number 1 26.

- There they are.

- Yeah. They look nervous.

No. not them. Them.

You invited them?

She said she wanted

to be a witness to her husband's life.

l thought she should witness this.

So you're a marriage counsellor now. But

could you at least bill Mrs. Clark for that?

As our dancers take their positions

for their first dance.

l'd like to remind the judges that you'll be

recalling six couples for the final round.

Ladies and gentlemen.

your first dance is the waltz.

Music. please.

Well done.

He's awesome.

Dad is awesome.

Spectacular.

lt's spectacular.

1 1 6.

Way to go. Dad.

Such a beautiful waltz.

We weren't terrible. l can't believe it.

Of course we weren't -

you were dancing with me. you big nut.

..the second and final dance

of this competition. the quickstep.

- ls your daughter here tonight?

- No. Why?

l thought l heard someone

yell at you ''Go. Dad.''

Yes.

1 26.

Go. Dad.

Way to go. Dad.

- Beverly.

- Dad.

- Wait a minute. Wait. wait.

- Dad. you were terrific.

Get in the car. Jen. Just get in the car.

Beverly. how did you know?

Because l hired a detective. Yeah.

l thought you were having an affair.

- lt's ridiculous. l know. OK. l feel...

- Listen. that was really bad luck.

Don't worry. There's always next year.

''There's always next year.'' Thanks.

Well. l have a whole year to prepare for it.

- Beverly. please. can we talk...

- No. there's nothing to talk about.

Please. Will you please stay here...

Stop. No.

- Please. will you talk to me?

- lf you want to talk.

you can start by explaining what was it

that l just saw in there? What did l witness?

l'm not having an affair. There was no aff...

What's goin' on?

- Let's go.

- They're new friends.

But you could've told me about it. couldn't

you? You just completely left me out.

Why didn't you tell me. John?

You've gotta answer that.

- l was ashamed.

- Ashamed of what? Of dancing?

- Well. no. no...

- Well. then of what?

Of wanting to be happier.

When we have so much.

And it's not your fault.

Fred Astaire.

You're blocking traffic.

Finally. Thank you.

The reading of a will

can actually come as a kind of relief.

After the initial shock wears off

about that trust fund for the family dog.

or the opera seats left to the gardener.

there is at least the sense

that everything is finally out on the table.

This. you are not gonna believe this. guys.

Louis. Louis.

''Link started dancing in 1 985.''

''lt soon became his passion

and he started dancing six days a week.''

''Lawyer by day and dancer by night.

Link really lights up the floor

with all of his energy.''

See? l told you. l knew it.

l knew Link Peterson was a freaky bastard.

l think Linky Link might be batting

for the other team. you know what l mean?

Could those pants be any tighter?

Look at his package.

Somebody get a magnifying glass.

There is nothing wrong

with ballroom dancing.

Sorry.

f**k you all.

And football sucks.

- How you doin'?

- Hey.

Surprise.

- This is gorgeous.

- Yeah. it's a pretty spot.

Thanks.

John. look. we just wanted

to talk to you for a minute.

Yeah. l just hope that you weren't

staying away from class on account of me.

l'm not mad about you ripping my dress

or anything. Seriously.

l mean. l know you always

wanted to look at my a**

and l think you picked a pretty weird time

to do it. but l forgive you. John.

- Thanks. Thank you.

- Honestly. OK?

Come on. can we tell Miss Mitzi

you're coming back?

l'm sorry. guys. l'm not coming back.

lt's... lt's... l'm done with that now.

But thanks a lot for coming out here.

l really appreciate that.

John. look...

Paulina. you know. she's gonna

go to England to study dance.

and we're havin' a little. you know.

going-away party for her

and we'd love for you to come.

Really love it if you would come by.

She gave me this to give to you. so...

Anyway. we hope that we see you there.

All right?

All right. come on.

- Bye. John.

- Bye.

''l hope you're not upset about

what happened with you and Bobbie.''

''Because you were wonderful that night.''

''l'd hate to think that what happened

would make you give it all up.''

''You looked so graceful

and brave out there -

a different person from the one

who first walked into Miss Mitzi's studio.''

''But a lot has changed for both of us

over the last few months.''

''When my partner and l

went to Blackpool last year.

we were so excited

to make it to the finals.''

''Everyone was convinced

that we were going to win.

and we wanted to prove them right.''

''We'd been together as a couple

for as long as we'd been partners.''

''But we began training too hard.

pushing each other. expecting too much.''

''Well. we didn't win.

Not even close.''

''l came back

without my trophy or my partner.''

''And all this time

l've been hiding out at Miss Mitzi's.

angry at myself.

frustrated and embarrassed.''

''But coaching you and Bobbie.

seeing how alive you were out there.

made me realise

just how much l'd given up.''

''And now.

for the first time in a long time.

l want to dance again.''

''So l need to thank you - thank you

for helping me to see this.''

''l hope l get to see you and dance

with you once more before l leave.''

''Paulina.''

Thanks.

By the way. l'm not going to this party.

OK.

But you're not giving up dancing. are you?

You could teach me to dance.

Beverly. l'm not dancing any more.

Why not. Dad?

Why don't you teach Mom how to dance?

The one thing l am proudest of

in my whole life...

is that you are happy with me.

lf l couldn't... if l couldn't tell you

that l was unhappy sometimes.

it was because l didn't want to risk hurting

the one person l treasure most.

l'm so sorry.

So. John. l'll see you at the party. huh?

l like this palette. lt looks lovely.

l just am now worried. though.

that these guys are too dark...

lt's a silly rose.

lt's beautiful.

Why aren't you at the party?

Because it's a dance.

and to dance you need a partner and...

my partner is right here.

Beverly. dance with me.

l don't know how.

- Yeah. you do.

- No. l don't.

You've been dancing with me

for 1 9 years.

But l don't know the steps.

l'll teach you.

Here?

Right now.

And now Paulina will choose her partner

for her special farewell dance.

Paulina.

- You taught me well. Come on.

- lt'd be my pleasure.

- Let me show you how much l learned.

- l'm available.

There's John.

- Come on.

- Come on.

Shall we dance. Mr Clark?

l would love to.

- Beverly. this is Paulina.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.

- C'mon. c'mon. C'mon. c'mon. c'mon.

- Thank you.

Come on. let's go dance.